Guys - does it matter if she has a child?

Question

I'm about to be divorced and have a 3 yr old son from the marriage. Does that matter to single guys? If so, why and when? I'm generally talking about guys with no children....because it would be absurd for a man with children to not want a woman with a child. Just curious!!

Answer 1

Hello CaramelQueen,
It wouldn't matter very much to a good man, because a good
man is usually looking to settle into a family life. A child in
the woman's life means two things to a good man---
1) Twice as many opportunities to show love.
2) She's looking for a solid "family man", as opposed to the
thrill-seeking, flirtatious "stud" in tight jeans.

In my book, women with one or two children, are special and
rare "prizes" to win. They usually don't play head games, and
they're in possession of the rarest beauty women can have.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter to me. Actually, I am a little bit more attracted because it means she HAS to have her life straight and be RESPONSIBLE AND CARING because she has a child. Maturity is a big issue with me though (I'm 22 and date 26-30 yr olds. I can't stand little miss co-ed or the recent hs grad). It depends on how serious you get though. A lot of guys are scared you want a "dad" for your kid or are needy for money, but if you show yourself as being independent in your everyday life already (basically don't go after a guy just bc he has a great job even if you don't like him or whatever) then you will have no problems. Make sure you tell him though once it gets to bf gf level that it is a package (you AND YOUR CHILD). If he loves you, then having a child won't matter and he will probably bond with your kid

Answer 3

Girl, my daughter became my filter. Whenever I dated a guy who ran after he heard I had a child, I went home and thanked my daughter for getting rid of him. If he finds out you have a child and still sticks around because he cares about you, then you know he's a good guy. (for the most part). Like I said, Your son is now your filter. This is actually a good thing in your case (being a mom). You don't want some immature young man coming along who just wants to party. You are a responsible mature adult who has priorities. Anyone who stays with you in a relationship is not afraid of responsibility.

Answer 4

Why would that be absurd? You would be surprise to find that many men with children don't want to date women with children either. It's just not a single guy thing. There are pluses and minuses in dating a women with a child (or more), it' will depend on the guy.

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

Answer 5

all men look at it otherwise. Do you've that toddler daddy drama. if so as it is a reason men do not opt to be wit woman wit youthful ones. i imagine the same as you. i'm no longer leaving my youthful ones for no guy. We come jointly. men that say no are only ignorant to new horizons. we are the same as the different woman yet only had a relationship that did not workout. even even with the reality that we were given some thing tremendous out of it!

Answer 6

It definatly makes things a bit more difficult when your younger and trying to date a guy, and you have a child, i dated a girl and it was really hard to be spontanious or spend a lot of time alone. You would really have to find a guy that was set in his way's and know's what he wants before he just goes diving into that kind of thing. I mean guy's my age (25) like spontinuity, staying up late, going out for a drink a lot and being alone with the one they fancy. that is going to be hard for you because of the child.

Answer 7

It should not matter if the guy grows to love u and your son..and not isolating him.He must be matured and understanding enough to be able to take responsibilities and understand yr ones.Just because u have a son doesnt mean that u cant be loved!good luck hun:)

Answer 8

If you meet someone who truly loves you then having a child would not matter. He would want to be with you nomatter what. If a guy is put off by such a small isue then truth be told, you dont want him in your life. Cause then al he is afraid of is responsibility.

Answer 9

I've never dated a woman with a child but if the oppurtunity arose I wouldn't avoid a woman just simply because she had a child.

Answer 10

if a guy doesn't like you for who u r and for ur children then there is no point in starting a relationship with them. some guys don't really mind becuz i know someone who is divorced and is now in another marriage, and her husband doesn't mind. however there are a few guys who are hypocrites and they do mind. it depends on who you choose, so choose wisely.