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My husband & i go to church. He is sun.school teacher for deaf group. We both are hard of hearing means we wear hearing aids. We met a hearing woman when we took our group on a trip here in town. She was just learning sign lang. She joined our Weds. Bible study to learn more sign lang. We got the feeling she joined to be close to him. My husband's prob. is he falls for females with a Big personilty & beauty. He knows the bible well. He is a people person, and is very handsome. Females loves talking to him! This hearing woman, told my husband in front of me! " i'm happy i'm learning more sign lang. so i can talk to you"! pointing at my husband! Who is she to do that? She is married,has 3 little girls. My husband is starting to have feelings for this woman because he knows she likes him. Should i write her and tell her how i feel or should my husband write her. He does not want to see her. He wants to drop out of church! He knows adultery was in his heart, what can he do?

2007-04-02 03:31:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

13 answers

Congratulations.

Your husband (as are you) is descended from arboreal primates! The bible might say "marry and stay faithful for life" .... but nature sayeth unto the man: "go forth and make babies with as many women as possible".

And no matter what you believe, nature usually wins.


Just remember that you have a human advantage though:
Remind him that while it is totally natural to have feelings for other people, it is the ability to deny instinct for even a short while that has led to humanity dominating the globe.
Don't let that go to waste.

2007-04-02 03:38:42 · answer #1 · answered by Nihilist Templar 4 · 3 2

I am a Go fearing Christian and it saddens me to find out about your situation. The most touching part is that your husband knows and wants to do something about it.

Yes do pray seriously about this first. Then i think that since he told you about the situation with this woman, that you can and should trust him.
However, i do not think that you or he should leave the church because of this. He should 'tell' or write to this woman and tell her that he is uncomfortable with her remarks and that he thinks it would be a good idea if she backed off a little. Politely ask for her to attend another bible study maybe and limit contact for a while until both he and she have gotten over their feeling for each other.
I think it would be best that he inform her so that she does not think that you are jealous (whether or not you are). She is also more likely to listen to him and take his 'rejection' seriously since it is him she is interested in.

All the best!

2007-04-02 11:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by Questionis 3 · 1 0

Stop. Take a step back. We all falter in our path sometimes. And we learn from it.

This has been a wonderful learning opportunity. The fact that you and your husband are able to talk these things through speaks wonders for your marriage. I would take that as an opportunity and move on from there.

In addition, I don't think this woman was flirting with your husband. She was just using a simple sign sentence. I think you are both reading too much into this.

2007-04-02 10:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

...People make mistakes, but I'll assume you have called it right - here is my advice:
...If I were you, I would talk this through with my husband and insist that someone else instruct this woman; or, I would not leave them alone together - perhaps you two could help her.
...He should be man enough to take the initiative in this situation, and brush this other woman off.
...Your husband needs to be true to you and focus on you. He needs to be the man God wants him to be and be true to you only.
...1 Corinthians 10:12 says this:
..."Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall."
...1 Corinthians 6:18 says this: Flee immorality.

2007-04-02 10:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by carson123 6 · 1 0

Who can know what is in the heart of man? Only our Lord.

Sounds like your husband needs to be delivered of some wrong thinking. Simply avoiding this woman won't do a thing. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Your husband will continually be tested by Satan until he overcomes. Scripture says you are more than conquerors and your husband CAN overcome this enemy in his life.

Satan is utimately after you and your husbands relationship to Jesus. Marriages today are under such an attack by the enemy. This issue is so much bigger than we know. The enemy is always setting up traps for us.

Eph 6 (Amplified Bible)
Be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere. Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God, And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace. Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people).

Both of you need to turn the battle to the gate and fight. I suggest you meet with the elders of your church (or whoever is set up in your particular church). This issue needs to be brought into the light and out of darkness. You will find strength from your leaders and should receive wise couseling. I would also suggest fasting and prayer. It's going to take a work of the Lord but He is faithful!

You can do all things through Christ Jesus

2007-04-02 10:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine 5 · 1 0

I think it's great that your husband feels he can talk to you about it. I'm sure your prayers and support will be vital in helping him overcome the situation.

I guess my first reaction was to say it could be best for you to say something, because if your husband starts talking about his feelings with this woman I think that would be dangerous - she'd know for sure that your husband's been having feelings for her, and I think that's best left unsaid.

Jesus, I pray in your name that you would give this couple wisdom and strength in this situation. I thankyou for their relationship, and how they are able to be open with each other, and I pray that you would use this situation to make them and their relationship even stronger. Thankyou!

2007-04-02 15:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by Isabel 2 · 1 0

you need to take his mind off of her, start taking care in what you are wearing buy a new dress something different from what you would pick yourself, get some advice from a well dressed woman go and have your hair done in a new style,
you have to fight for your man . pay her a visit and tell her your husband is distressed in her behaviour and you will speak to her husband if she does not stop.

2007-04-02 10:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by Sunny 6 · 0 1

First off, pray.
Second, he can bring you into every conversation and excuse himself when she begins talking to him. Always a second set of ears helps. There is always the rule that says, "I will not be left alone with a woman who is not my wife." and watch what he is saying to her.
Have him read "Every Man's Battle."

2007-04-02 10:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sister blue eyes 6 · 1 0

life is harder for religous men than non religious men, because the temptations as specialy grievous as regards sex
remindhim obout this and talk about it he needs to re activate his original beliefs of better or worse,best wishes.

2007-04-02 12:29:38 · answer #9 · answered by trucker 5 · 1 0

You need to give him more b.j.s. If he was satisfied IN the bedroom he wouldn't have sexual feelings for other women. Sorry if the truth hurts but it is the truth. Other people will tell you sugar coated b.s. with religious connotations, but they are all b.s. If you want a "real" solution, take better care of him in the bedroom. Ya' know, put it where it don't belong.

2007-04-02 10:38:14 · answer #10 · answered by dino_ou812 3 · 1 4

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