So what _does_ the Easter Bunny have to do with Jesus?

Question

Seriously, tell me again. Also include the eggs and chicks.

Answer 1

The rabbit is well known as a sexual symbol of fertility. In various parts of the world, religions which developed from Babel also associate the rabbit with periodicity, both human and lunar (Egypt, China, etc.). As you may remember, the Mother Goddess Semiramis (Easter) is associated with the Moon. In other words, the Easter bunny symbolizes the Mother Goddess. Annual Spring time fertility rituals are associated worship of the Mother Goddess and Tammuz, the reincarnation of her husband Nimrod.

The egg was a sacred symbol among the Babylonians. They believed an old fable about an egg of wondrous size which was supposed to have fallen from heaven into the Euphrates River. From this marvelous egg - according to the ancient story - the Goddess Astarte (Easter) [Semiramis], was hatched. And so the egg came to symbolize the Goddess Easter.

The egg was also a symbol of fertility; Semiramis (Easter) was the goddess of Fertility. The Easter egg is a symbol of the pagan Mother Goddess, and it even bears one of her names.

Answer 2

You see the bunny lays the chocolate cadburys eggs (we've all seen the commercials so you know it's true). Cadbury eggs are the fuel for all that is good in this world. They are also known as 'soul-snacks' which the baby Jesus needs for sustenance (this has to be extra years in purgatory I'm doing for this so I hope you appreciate it).
So after the rabbit delivers these soul-snacks, we hide them where they can be found by chicks. The chicks become like little angels and carry the soul-snacks to heaven.
But they don't fly on wings, oh no. They use their spacepods (you know, 'real' eggs). We have to dye these spacepods because the different colors carry different prayers.
And I am stopping because I think I hear thunder outside :P

Answer 3

The answer is so obvious, that even an athiest should know it.

Jesus was hatched from an egg laid by a mutant bunny with laser eyes and metal teeth. He was then raised by wild locusts that had computer implants from space. The aliens used their advanced technology to perform miracles through Jesus. And Jesus hid decorated eggs all over the world. Each of these eggs contained a future religious leader, like Buddah, Mohammed, Joseph Smith, Tom Cruise and whoever the pope of the athiests is. That is how we got all our religions. And that is why easter eggs are related to Jesus.

Answer 4

In the medieval era, Catholic bishops were having trouble converting the local Celtic and Teutonic tribes (who share common ancestry). In order to convert them, Christmas was placed on top of the Yule celebration of the winter solstice. Later bishops were upset by just plunking the celebration of the Resurrection on top of the Celtic/Teutonic celebration of the vernal equinox (Ostara/Eostre) and the fertility celebrations of this spring festival, such as decorating eggs and decorating with other fertility symbols like bunnies and flowers. They devisd a truly absurd way to determine Easter (if it happened, it should be celebrated on a different day each year in commemoration of the date, instead of always Sunday). I forget exactly what it is but I think it is the first Sunday after the full moon after the equinox. Despite their efforts, the Church couldn't keep the spring from invading their holiday and now the defining characteristic of the worship of Easter involves all things pagan.

Answer 5

Scholars, accepting the derivation proposed by the 8th-century English scholar St. Bede, believe the name Easter is thought to come from the Scandinavian "Ostra" and the Teutonic "Ostern" or "Eastre," both Goddesses of mythology signifying spring and fertility whose festival was celebrated on the day of the vernal equinox.
Traditions associated with the festival survive in the Easter rabbit, a symbol of fertility, and in colored easter eggs, originally painted with bright colors to represent the sunlight of spring, and used in Easter-egg rolling contests or given as gifts.

Answer 6

Hehehe, nothing. The Christians usurped a holiday and never bothered to change the name or traditions associated with it. It's like of like stealing a sled and not even bothering to paint it a different color or remove the previous owners name and then take it out showing it off claiming it was your's all along.

After discovering that people were more reluctant to give up their holidays and festivals than their gods, they simply incorporated Pagan practices into Christian festivals. As recounted by the Venerable Bede, an early Christian writer, clever clerics copied Pagan practices and by doing so, made Christianity more palatable to pagan folk reluctant to give up their festivals for somber Christian practices.

In second century Europe, the predominate spring festival was a raucous Saxon fertility celebration in honor of the Saxon Goddess Eastre (Ostara), whose sacred animal was a hare.

The colored eggs associated with the bunny are of another, even more ancient origin. The eggs associated with this and other Vernal festivals have been symbols of rebirth and fertility for so long the precise roots of the tradition are unknown, and may date to the beginning of human civilization. Ancient Romans and Greeks used eggs as symbols of fertility, rebirth, and abundance- eggs were solar symbols, and figured in the festivals of numerous resurrected gods.

Moving forward fifteen hundred years, we find ourselves in Germany, where children await the arrival of Oschter Haws, a rabbit who will lay colored eggs in nests to the delight of children who discover them Easter morning. It was this German tradition that popularized the 'Easter bunny' in America, when introduced into the American cultural fabric by German settlers in Pennsylvania.

Answer 7

nothing.
The eggs seem to be an ancient tradition and have been adopted by Christianity to represent the resurrection of Christ. An egg appears closed and hard, but it has life in it, just as the tomb of Christ appeared closed and hard, but he was alive. Eastern Christians have a tradition that Mary Magdalene had some food with her at the crucifixion: she ignored it as she watched Christ, and his blood colored the eggs in her basket.

Answer 8

The bunny doesnt, but Easter does.

Answer 9

Actually the Easter bunny is a weak way of Satan trying to institute his "poison" into the Christian religion. In the Book of Isaiah i think Chapter 40 he says to what shall we liken GOD to? the only thing he told us to keep in commemoration of his death is Communion which has nothing to do with Easter.

Answer 10

I guess there were a lot of bunnies & chicks in Nazareth...