My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year and a half. We are happy, we are in love, we enjoy being together, we don't want to do anything stupid to upset our relationship...
But I know that we won't last forever.
My question is, is it wrong to stay with someone you don't think you will spend the rest of your life with? Is the 'til death us do part' what we're meant to be looking for? Is the fact that I can't see us being for years and years a bad omen for our relationship in itself like friends keep telling me?
Lx
2007-04-02 01:40:36 · 13 answers · asked by Lauren A 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think there is anything wrong with our relationship - it's the best I've ever had - I have been witness to very very few successful, long relationships... just natural cynicism I guess, but people keep saying that my relationship must be flawed for me to not think that we'll have the Disney 'Happily Ever After'
2007-04-02 01:45:31 · update #1
No one is psychic - if we had crystal balls there'd be no failed marriages! You have no idea if this is forever or not, but there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy it while it lasts.
If you do realise things are changing for the worst, cut your loses and move on. Some people might think there is only ever one person out there for them. That's not really true. Many people I know have not found the person they know they want to settle down with until their late 20's. Younger than this and people are still making their minds up about what they want to do with their lives, moving around, changing jobs and carrying on with their education. Some of my friends have never been able to say 'this is definitely it for the rest of my life'. After 23 years, one couple still won't get married.
Just take it as it comes and stop worrying about the future!
2007-04-02 01:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same. The longest ive ever been friends with someone was 6 years before we began to p*ss each other off. As for boyfriends, it doesnt even last that long! After a while, i get bored of people. Sounds heartless i know, but its just the way it is with me. Maybe i'll grow out of it, but for now i dont think i have a "forever and ever" future with anybody.
Its not really a bad omen, but try and look positively at your relationship or else u wont enjoy it as much. I would also advise u to talk to your boyfriend about it and see how he feels. If he see's you as having a long future together then it is a little unfair to string him along.
But as long as your both happy and enjoying the relationship then its perfectly fine and you should carry on until u feel differently. Good luck to you both! x
2007-04-02 09:49:05 · answer #2 · answered by only_lil_kez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disclaimer: The following is MY OPINION. Your opinions may vary. Offer void where prohibited. Discontinue if rash appears, except in Nebraska.
I think that prior to marriage, you should look at dating and relationships the way you look at food. You think you have a favorite food, but if you see a food that looks like it might be good, go ahead and taste it. It'll do one of two things: a) convince you that your favorite food is STILL your favorite food, or b) show you that you have a new favorite food.
I think that people that verbally (contractually?) commit themselves to exclusivity way too early in the relationship, and my observation is that this is typically done due to insecurity on the part of one or the other. I've learned that I'm a pretty good catch, actually, and I don't NEED someone to promise exclusivity before it happens on its own. Neither do you. An "exclusive" relationship means so much more, and has so much more importance, when it happens naturally, and not as a result of a forced promise. Don't promise exclusivity...but rather, just allow it to happen. If the two people in a relationship are compatible, the exclusivity will come on its own, without any forced promises or commitments.
The other thing I want to point out is this: I think that you either see a relationship going towards "forever" or you see it going towards "breakup". I don't believe that a relationship can be stagnant. You've got to keep moving in one direction or the other. If you see your relationship stagnating or moving in a direction other than towards "forever", then you owe it to both of you to get out of it.
Again, your mileage may vary. That's just my opinion.
2007-04-02 08:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by Scotty Doesnt Know 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest no, not a bad thing, as long as you both are happy? Stay together while you are happy and having fun, may be you will turn around one day and think yes this is great, may be you want! But at the end of it all you have to live how you feel best and if things feel right now, then cool.
2007-04-02 08:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to quote your question:
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year and a half. We are happy, we are in love, we enjoy being together, we don't want to do anything stupid to upset our relationship...
Taking this into consideration, how can you say that you would not be with him fro the rest of your life?
How do you know?
Why?
2007-04-02 08:47:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm - well hun ok - a lot of relationships dont stand the test of time - but there are a lot that do!
I think you have the wrong attitude when it comes to your relationship - you say its great and you're happy - so instead of worrying about what may or may not happen - I think you should just enjoy it whilst it lasts!! Theres no guarantee that you and your boyfriend wont last forever - but you need to stop expecting the worst!
Enjoy it now - and dont listen to your friends - it sounds like they could just be jealous!
xx
2007-04-02 09:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's only wrong if you are deceiving your boyfriend. If he asks about how you see your future together, be honest. You wouldn't want to be lied to would you?
But there must be a reason you feel the way you do, so I would talk to him if I were you. You'll feel better afterwards, you'll both know where you stand.
2007-04-02 08:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by Yasmin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You forgot to mention your age. Perhaps, currently you are not picturing the relationship in that perspective... it is indeed in the level of maturity. But, since you've scribbled above paragaraph tat you enjoy being together, you are inlove then forever starts on that thingy...
Dear, I guess it is too early to say that...
2007-04-02 08:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, there's nothing wrong about it. There's so many divorces in this world of people who thought it will be forever. It's okay to enjoy the moment and to try out if it will be weeks, months, years or maybe even forever.
2007-04-02 08:46:12 · answer #9 · answered by male4girlz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any person not worth spending the rest of your life with in marriage is a waste of romance time--but even more of a key-John chapter 3 worked for me-Making Jesus the God of your life and best friend-then everything else is a bonus and you know your boundaries, I repented of sin and got born again -now Jesus is my savior and best friend and I live happier every day. David
2007-04-02 08:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋