BF threatening to kill himself if I leave him?

Question

I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months and for several reasons it's not been going very well. Then 2 weeks ago we had a huge argument over the phone and I told him I was going to finish with him. He phoned me the next night very late drunk out of his mind saying he was cutting himself and that he was going to slit his wrists if I finished with him as I'm the only good thing in his life. Stupidly I took him back. We haven't seen each other since but we were supposed to be meeting up a few days ago then at the last minute I had to change my plans. Again he phoned me the next night, drunk and said he was cutting himself as he thought I was rejecting him. I really really want to end this but I'd feel to blame if anything did happen to him. This guy is seriously scaring me. Please give me some advice I don't know what to do

Answer 1

Next time he's sober tell him he needs to get some help because this isn't working. Then let him down gently and don't look back.

Answer 2

well, that guy doesnt really love u, u cant blackmail the person u love just to be with them. if u dont wanna be with him, he would expect u to find some1 who will give u what he couldnt and make u happy. I think u should actually talk to him, in person, and tell him that it is not working out and ur relationship wont go anywhere. and that u will always be there for him as a friend, but not more. Tell him he should grow up, and if he doesnt appreciate his life and would suicide because of some rejection, then tell him to be ur guest that is his life, and he can do with it as he wishes. seriously i tihnk he s just being over dramatic, i dont think he ll do anything... just wants to tie u down somehow, and it seems to be working for him. if i were u, after i had that talk with him i wouild takl to his family members and tell him that for X reason, ur relationship didn't work out the way u expected it. and that u can't keep doing it. n' he's threatened to kill himself a couple of times and they need to keep an eye on him. and of course, call him every now and then and make sure he s alright, show him that u r still his friend no matter what. but make sure u try to get him to understand that neither of u will be happy if u keep gong with the relationship. good luck. and if he doesnt have any family members u could talk to, i would go to the police, and tell them he's threatened to kill himself... to get him a psychologist or a specialist see what they could do to help him.

Answer 3

My advice is to tell him UP AND DOWN not across. Fact is if he is telling you he's going to kill himself odds are very strong he WONT! Its his way of hanging onto you and making you feel guilty. If he is scaring you {but not saying he will physcially harm you personally} do not take his calls. If he is drunk when he calls you do not talk to him, have only civilized sober conversations. I went through this myself and I finally told the guy "want me to call 911 for you" he hung up the phone and never called back, THANK GOD!

Also if you strongly feel he is serious then after you get off the phone with him call the police and give them his address and tell them he is making sucidal threats. They will go over there and more then likely he'll end up looking like a fool and spending a few days in the hospital for a psych eval.

By the way if something "does" happen to him its not your fault you did not hold the knife or the gun he has mental issues thinking threats and guilt will keep you

Answer 4

Stay the phuque away from this guy. I ain't kidding! Call the cops tell them everything, get a restraining order. If he keeps calling the cops can put a tap on your phone. If he shows up anywhere you are have him arrested. I not playin' about this.

First, the punk has a serious drinking problem. Serious drinking problem.

Second, if your instinct told you to bail, follow it.

Third, if he actually is cutting, and it doesn't sound like you've seen it yet, he's a certified friggin fruitcake. Add the drinking and you've got a murder/suicide cocktail.

Your brain is already telling you what to do "This guy is seriously scaring me." Get out, get away, do what ever you have to do to stay safe.

In the long run, If you leave him, it's because you didn't want to be around him. If he assumes room temperature, so sorry, good bye, his choice, not your fault!

Answer 5

Ok, now calm down and it will be ok. I know how you feel, I've had 2 bf's who has threatened the samething. But one thing I have learned it that if someone is going to do bodily harm to their selves, they are not going to tell you. My bf now tried to commit suicide twice when he was younger, he didn't tell anybody and nobody knew, thank god someone caught him but they had to rush him to the hospital and pump his stomach. It wasn't over a girl but he was being abused by his mother's bf. Anyway the point is he's talking that stuff to you because he knows it work. If he seriously was going to do something he wouldn't not be calling you telling you. Someone else would be calling you telling you exactly what he did and what happen. So having said that, break it off with him and just don't answer the phone. That way he can't talk to you to tell you anything he's doing. And to avoid voice messages, answer the phone and just hang it up so that way you are not letting him get the voice mail to really leave a threatening message. I know this sounds really harsh but he will stop and as time goes on you and him might just be able to be associates if you'd like. But I would def get away from psycho, fast!!! I wouldn't want something to happen and you be the reason or accountable but you have to go with this one. Many years from now he will look back and regret even acting this way.

Answer 6

1 - You cannot stay with him forever. You have to leave at some point. And when you do leave, don't answer the phone!

2 - If you do answer the phone and he says he's cutting himself, find out where he is at. Tell him you are coming over. As soon as you hang up, call 911 and tell them he is making "suicidal gestures." They will take him away for a "therapeutic vacation" because he needs psychiatric help. AND THEN DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN HE CALLS!

3 - I have been there, and let me tell you it is only a matter of time before he thinks that maybe he should kill you and then himself. Get out of this ASAP.

Answer 7

OK, here is what you need to do...first you need to stop blaming yourself. If this guy is going to kill himself (which i seriously doubt, since he is *warning* you) then he is going to do it whether you take him back or not. Someone who has suicidal tendencies has serious emotional problems, which you are not equipped to deal with. You need to tell this person's parents. You also need to call the police and tell them what is going on. I appreciate the fact that you feel sorry for him, however, he is scaring you...that is not something that someone who really loved you would do. He has problems and you should try to find him help. Other than that, you can't do much else, besides just being a friend. I hope everything goes well for you.

Answer 8

You need to stay as far away from this person as possiable. He is using your guilt to make you stay. Thats the way it starts. Is there any off his family members that you can talk with and let them know what is going on. Do not take his phone calls anymore. Get caller Id or unplug the phone. You are not going to help him by giving in. If he keeps calling you or coming over call the police. His behavior is dangerous. And if he does do something it is not your fault, he needs professional help. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Stop calling him and answering his phone call's..You need to stay away from him he is unstable.If he hurts himself that is NOT your fault he is playing on your sympathy.People that are serious about commiting suicide don't talk about it they just do it.One of my brothers committ suicide and he never said a word he just did it.This guy is no good for you stay away from him..Also you had only been seeing this guy for a few months and thing's were not working out consider yourself lucky that you got away from him when you did..And if he does end up killing himself which i really don't think that he will then that is not your fault because he obviously had issues before he met you.You deserve better and you will find a better stable man..Like I said you need to cut all ties with him do not talk to him If you know his parents you may want to contact them and let them know what is going on..Good Luck & Best Wishes

Answer 10

A few months ? Not your fault if he does. Split up, be as supportive as you can, but not for very long time or you'll send the wrong message. Tell him it is over. Most people threaten but don't follow through. The people that do were always going to anyway, just waiting for when they can make someone else feel guilty about it. Tell him to get professional help.

Answer 11

Next time, if you end it-you need to END it. It won't be easy but it'll be worth it. If he calls you saying he's hurting himself call the police and let them deal with it. Honestly, what more can you do? Whatever happens will happen just keep moving forward. If someone really wants to hurt themselves then there's nothing you can do to keep him/her from doing it. He needs some mental healing. You can do only so much. Change your number, your e-mail, move if you have to. Just remember if anything happens it's not your fault. I wonder how many times he's done this to other girls? Hmmmmm....he's still alive.