Is it a good idea?

Question

My boyfriend has been really stressed out with his job situation, he didnt get his promotion and since then he has been quite down about his job. He;s looking for a new job but he has not been successful in getting any of hte jobs he applied for. He has been feeling really bad about it. Since then he has been really upset, feeling down and unhappy. I guess I did not give him the best support as I started to worry about our relationship, worrying he stopped loving me and caring for me. He kept saying me that he needs to sort his situation out but I was needy with him. He became quite upset with me after a while and he told me last weekend that it's for the best if we separate. He was very sorry but he said he could not continue. I was so upset and hurt, I was crying so much, he was upset and sad but he said that he is not happy with anything, he said he even cried at work the other day. I asked him if we could take some time apart so he can focus on himself rather than breaking up.

I suggested that we take a break for the next 2 or 3 months and if after this time, he still feels that he wants to stop, it will be a final decision. But I told him i am not ready to give up and I said to him that we might just need to get over this bad phase. He agreed and said that it's a good idea. i told him I won't contact him and I will let him focus.

Answer 1

no that is not a good idea.

Answer 2

It is indeed a good idea, I am currently doing the same and I have done it before. It's good to take some time out to get some perspective and actually develop your life as an individual. You need to be able to look after yourself before taking on the responsibilty of being someone elses emotional crutch.
If after the months have passed, if you do decide to break then you will have had some time to get used to the idea. If you decide you want to be together then in that time you will have both grown some - realising that being together is a bonus and not a neccessity.
However, it is a better idea to keep the communication lines open, even if it is just once a week to check up that he is doing ok. It would be terrible if he needed you but didnt feel he could come to you.

Answer 3

A couple of the main ingredients in a healthy relationship is communication and being able to support eachother through difficult times.
I don't know how old you are but making it through tough times is a sure test of the future of your relationship. I mean seriously, if you were to be married where would you go if you were to come to an impass? It's a shame that it took this for you to realize your mistake.
If I were you I'd spend my time working on my own goals so that I wouldn't be so needy in the future.

Answer 4

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation hunn it sucks! i think you have done the right thing tho, he obviously needs time to sort himself out and was in no position to give you the attention that you needed, at least this way you have parted on good terms and he will soon realise once hes out of his rough patch what a fantastic and loving girlfriend you are! if you didn't do what you have done it may have got a lot bitter things could of ended nastily and you could of lost him forever. Well done on making such a brave decision on letting him go im sure you will be reunited in no time.Meanwhile don't dwell on it get your girls out and try enjoy yourself as hard as that may seem at the moment.

Answer 5

Everything has obviously gotten on top of him and become very emotional for the both of you. I think it sounds like its at the point where you can't sort yourselves out together but you obviously both care for each other as there has been open communication.

I suspect if you both back off for a bit and really clear your heads the relationship will work out for the better for the long run. Whether it be as friends or a full on relationship in the future. :o)

Answer 6

sorry i hope it all works out for you a break can be a good thing but if you both spend the next two to three months apart that is to long you should really know how you feel after a couple of days apart i need my partner so i have somone to share my problems solitude only brings more upset hope it all works out

Answer 7

Leaving him when he needs you is not a good idea. Be there for him, just don't put pressure on him. If you really love him, you should learn not to run when there is a problem. It is never a good idea to run away from your loved one, just be patient with him. When people go through things like this, they tend to want less stress while they are working it out. Just don't expect him to be very happy right now. Things will change when he gets his life back to normal.

Patience is good practice for marriage.

Answer 8

I wouldn't say it's a good idea but it's an idea. A better idea would be for both of you to deal with your underlining issues -for him to learn how to deal with the disappointments in one aspect of his life without letting it affect every other part and for you to learn how to be a lot more supportive and self assured of yourself and your relationship. Both of you need to talk more and be a lot more open with each other. This is will help greatly.
Hope this helps.

Answer 9

its a shame thats its come to this but yeah i guess it is the next best thing; This way your not completly ending it and your giving him some time;

Answer 10

look out for him. if he seems this upset he may do sumthing he regrets...never leave a person this upset alone

Answer 11

NO IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA U SHOULD NOT WAIT FOR HIM LOOK FOR A NEW ONE