Sticking by his side.What am i to do?

Question

I have been with a man for 3 years.Not an on and off relationship, but a beautifully strong one. He is respectful, never harmed my feelings and wants to marry me.
My parents are on the fence.
They know and they love him, but they never seem happy with what he does in relation to work.
He never finished High School (he is from Lebanon and his father died when he was 15 and so he began working to support his family)
My parents know this but they keep telling me "Push him to taking computer classes so he can save up for marriage"
I dont want to push him to do anything and i know he works hard for me. He has two jobs and makes every minute count so we can have a beautiful loving relationship.
How can we both prove to my parents that he is responsible and maintains stability?
I love him people.This isnt some fling.We are both virgins who will wait forever for each other.
I need any repectable advice.
Thanks

Hassan (is his name btw) is ashamed because he didnt finish school and i have more education that he does. He has cried over it.
But he told me recently that he would try very hard to please my parents because family means alot to both of us.
The reason why i question my parents is because they say they will be happy with whomever i choose and ...i am deeply happy.
I know he is my soulmate.
I wish they can see that too

Answer 1

Your parents have your best interests at heart. But that doesn't mean they should be able to tell you whom and whom not to date. If you are happy with him and happy with what he does for a living, then thats all that matters. Your parents may never approve but, if they see he has your best interests at heart, they may come around later on. Don't mess up a good thing because your parents think you can do better. They will never know exactly how he makes you feel.

Answer 2

I totally understand your point. A family wants the perfection in a husband, good education, high level money, good home, - Lebanies families need a great high class for their daughter. I have a friend, and I know this feeling. The only way to prove this to your parents, is by time. Patience my girl. This way you will prove them. If your boyfriend is working two places, at least he is doing something to make you happy. Money doesn't give you everything, as long as he is respectful man. Have you heard stories on this message bored how bad and womanizer and awful men are out there? Be happy of what you got, and don't pay too much attention and guilt of what your mum/dad want. I had something similar in my life, this case was my in laws, and I have now proved them after 5 years. Only time will prove your family that he is loving, caring and don't force him or pressure him to go and study what your mum/dad want. It is non of their business, sorry to say. Parents will want even more later on, they may want kids from you, and you both may not be ready. It will never end the pressure of family, so if you stick with him of what YOU and HIM want, then your relationship will go higher and higher, but if you keep listening and feeling guilty for your parents, to me that is 'parental blackmail'.

One day when they see how much he loves and cares for you, they will slowly slowly start to like him, and even compliment about him to others. The most important is his mother that you have to get along with. Do you? That's the trouble can make things worst in a marriage, since girl's mum and dad most of the time settle with the new man in their daughter's life and they do their best to love their new son in law.

Talking from experience with Mediteranian backround.
good luck

Answer 3

I think your parents are actually giving you some very sound advice, even though they may be wrong in the way they deliver it by making it sound disrespectful. Working two or more jobs may show admirable commitment from your man, but if he were to follow this plan and gain a certificate or degree in some field that is hiring for a better wage, then you would both have more time together and a better family for future children. I see no reason why this should be an either/or situation; I think you should stay with him since he sounds very devoted, and ask your parents for any help they can give to pay for your man to attend a trade school of his choice (since it's their idea, maybe they'd be willing to chip in for your sake).

Answer 4

Your parents are just concerned about your future. There is nothing wrong with talking to the person you love about getting a better education. Perhaps you can offer to help out while he gets some training. It would be ashamed for this good man to have to struggle to support the two of you when he is older.

This happens a lot. When people are younger, they forget that the older we get, the weaker we get. It is not easy to work two jobs when you are old. If he got one good job, he would not have to work as hard later in life. If you love him, as you say that you do, you would want this for him.

Answer 5

I think your parents know there will be stability, what they want is for him to better himself so he wouldn't have to work 2 jobs. Parents always worry about their children and the men/women they get involved with. They want their children to have the best they can have with no worries especially when they are gone they want to make sure their children are settled nicely without any issues. Maybe him working so much might be an issue with them. They may think he's pushing himself to hard and will burn out from doing so. I would try and suggest computer classes, maybe work at getting a GED and so on. Don't press him to do it just suggest it nicely and let him decide what he may want to do.

Answer 6

He sounds like a hard worker.

It wouldn't hurt to push him to do something else though. If he took computer classes, he could get a better paying job and not have to work two.

Try suggesting it to him. Maybe get him on monster.com or something. There are good paying jobs on there that he could get with the work experience he already has.

It's not ok to force anybody to do anything but, it is ok to be supportive and suggest something that could better the future for both of you. Good luck!

Answer 7

They don't seem to think he's unrespectable, they just want him to further himself to be able to have an easier life for both of you. If they say "push him to take computer classes so he can save for marriage", it means they still want you to get married. He sounds like a very hard working guy who loves you very much. Good luck with whatever you two choose to do, it's still your choice at the end. If financial obligations aren't holding him back time-wise, I would get higher education since it seems he wants it too.

Answer 8

I think your parents just worry that he may not be able to take care of you because of his schooling status. But you have the last say on it. You could suggest computer classes so he could not work two jobs and you two could have more time together. I wouldn't push, but just suggest. But if you two are happy with the things the way they are, then good.

Answer 9

The only thing you need to change is your need to prove to your parents that your choices and your partner are good enough for them. You do not have to prove anything to your parents. You and your partner are happy together, that's all that counts.
Have a talk with your parents, tell them that you are perfectly happy with (insert his name) the way he is, you do not wish to push him to take computer classes, you do not wish to push him to do anything other than what he's doing already, and if they cannot stop trying to interfere with your relationship and your future, you will regretfully have to see less of them.

Answer 10

it doesnt seem like your parents acctually 'love the guy'. they may just be saying that. see they are saying one thing but then their action is completly different. why does it even matter what job he has? atleast he has one! and he's working hard for you! they probably don't think he's good enough for you. no offense or anything..but your parents seem like hypocrites.seriously just follow your heart. forget about your parents...if you feel really strong and good about your relationship with this guy then go for it. but keep one thing in mind...once you guys get married,and have kids, your insurance will go up, and then that will demand more money, so your parents my be right and you might just be niave.(sp) so talk to him about marrige, your going to need more money,kids, bigger house, more food,clothing...etc.well...whatever you decide GOOD LUCK!