c'mon, it just gets on my nerves, & it's stupid, why can't girls just move on with their life after they break-up?, cause you can't move on with your life if you bring up the past, it's funny & stupid how they call them their ex-boyfriend, cause in my opinion, it seems like this, once their boyfriend, always their boyfriend, a lot of times they just become friends with benefits after they break up.
2007-04-01 22:12:00 · 21 answers · asked by introvertedguy06 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think there's different reasons actually.
Some may be because it genuinely was a mutual, mature break up and that the friendship can and does extend past the romantic relationship that had fizzled out. Their friendship isn't lost and they're able to continue as buddies as they were before they ever started becoming intimate.
Granted, I think this scenario is few and far between.
If the girl is talking with their ex when they're upset with their current relationship, it's a big sign that they're using the ex-boyfriend as a safety net. It's like the magic mirror on the wall that tells them that they're the fairest of them all. It's an ego-booster, a fall-back, a bittersweet memory that they want to hold onto.
I'm honestly of neither party. I maintain casual contact with two of my ex's that I was good friends with before the break ups, and one was an honest, mutual ending of the relationship due to distance issues as we were returning to our respective studies at universities in different states. As in, I'll send and receive the occasional christmas card and birthday card and once every few months receive or send an email. It's a polite, acquintance-level sort of association. We don't talk about the what if's or dwell on the past as you mentioned above.
Again, each situation is very unique but I think it falls into the general three categories explained above: mutual, continued friendship; safety net; light, polite contact. Sometimes it's hard to decipher 1 from 2 and often girls themselves will also confuse it - believing in a self-deceiving way that they're just trying to be friends again when really they're thriving on the continued association and attention. BUT just because a girl might talk with their ex doesn't automatically mean that they're going to re-hook up or that she hasn't gotten over them. Be sure to watch their interaction and the placement of when they talk and what they talk on before passing judgement.
2007-04-01 22:28:39 · answer #1 · answered by Squeak 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't speak for every girl, but I can speak for myself. My few ex's are some of my closest friends... because we were in a relationship they know more about me than any regular friend would. I've never had friends with benefits with any of my ex's, because by the time we break up - we're already moving on and over each other.
One of my ex's was my bestfriend for quite awhile. He recently got engaged, and his fiance and I became friends as well. A lot of times she actually came to me for advice, and I helped their relationship out.
You do have a valid point when you say that majority of girls become friends with benefits though... I think it's because girls need a sense of security. They like to know that even though things may be "over," they can still get what they want. It's an egotistical thing...
Don't classify all women to be like that though, because I know that I personally am not one of them... because the way I see it is that we're ex's for a reason so obviously somethin' wasn't working out... and why try to hold on to something that doesn't exsist.
2007-04-01 22:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by bhsgurlscc9 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you probably aren't going to like this but I think you need to grow up ,,,, You are rather shallow ,,,, If two people break up it doesn't necessarily have to follow that they should be mortal enemies ,,,, Allot of people that divorce still remain friends ,,,, It's referred to as a friendly divorce ,,,, That's good and a good indicator of their maturity ,,,, You need to learn how to look at things from all angles before you try to judge someone or something ,,,, People can move on in their lives and still talk to their X ,,,, Just because they might talk to their X doesn't mean they are bringing up that past at all ,,,, You need to rethink allot of things and change your definitions for many of the things you got wrong in your head ,,,, It's not too much to worry about now though ,,,, This is no guarantee but you'll probably or maybe see things different as you get older ,,,, Every one makes a fool of them selves now and then though ,,,, We are only human and so are you ,,,, there are all kinds of ways a person can look at something ,,,, All you need to do is widen your scope or vision ,,,, You aren't unique in this ,,,, Every one has to do this at some times in their life ,,,, Good luck ,,,,
2007-04-02 00:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason we become friends with our ex's isn't b/c we cant move on. For me it is the way i know that i am over them. Also sometimes girls become friends with the guy before going out with them and that are just better off as friends. That is why i am still friends with most of my ex's
2007-04-01 22:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by sissy_ingle2005 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
True sometimes we do hang on to see if maybe he'll get back with us. But at the same time, you guys could both be good people who just weren't meant for each other in that way but still want a friendship. I like to show my exes what their missing out on, lol. Some women improve with time after a breaking up with someone and we like them to see how good we look now and what they're missing out on.
2007-04-09 11:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never burn your bridges. That means that just because are not exclusive with someone, does mean that you have to hate them. What about all of those good memories that you made together. What happens if your brother marries her sister, for instance? If you were enemies it would make for a very awkard situation. What if you went to work for a company that she worked for, or worse yet she was your boss?
Doesn't sound so stupid now, does it?
2007-04-01 22:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
'cause girls tend to be a little bit more sensitive when it comes to a guy who's been part of her life. and also you can learn a lot from a former boyfriend. after a while it's easy to talk about things that both didn't like in each other. it can be constructive.
2007-04-01 22:37:27 · answer #7 · answered by kate 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone breaks up doesnt mean that they cant remain friends. I think it is a mature thing if you can have a relationship with someone, end it, then remain friends. You can still be friends and move on with your life.
2007-04-09 16:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anji25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is b/c we can't move on but I personally I hate to lose a friend. I dated my best guy friend and we broke up and the end result was that I lost my best friend. I don't understand why guys think that just b/c you aren't dating doesn't mean you can't be friends.
2007-04-09 18:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by marysue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We don't like burning bridges. It's a sign of maturity to be able to be friends with someone after breaking up.
By the way, appropriate name
2007-04-09 21:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by Quartz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋