me nd my gf were going out for a really long time..thn we broke up...i love her so much nd she likes me 2..but i just don't want to hurt her again...wut should i do?
2007-04-01 15:58:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can't promise that you won't hurt her, or that you yourself won't get hurt. it happens whether we want it to or not, and you can't let that keep you from being in relationships.
this time last year, i had gotten extremely nervous about what could go wrong, and the potential of losing my boyfriend. anxiety temporarily got the better of me. after we went out for a year, we broke up for 6 mo, but spent all our time together as friends, after which i "prompted" him to decide how he felt. he showed up one evening with flowers and the promise that he couldn't promise forever and he couldn't promise there might not be hurt, but that he was much happier with me and seeing where things might go. he did point out that he wanted me to take a couple days to think about it, although i'm sure he could see in my face i wanted to say yes to getting back together.
6 mo later, things are really good, and much stronger than the first time around, because i have a better understanding of what the personal dynamics are.
the reasons that you broke up the first time - can they be overcome? or can they be better understood between the two of you?
if you're willing to take the chance to ask her out again, then you yourself are willing to be hurt, so...i think you should ask her on a very simple date and explain how you feel.
Good luck!
2007-04-01 16:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by mynydd_mor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You reeeaalllyyy need to think about this before you do it. Funny thing is, I'm in a situation in which I still care for my ex of four years and we still spend a tremendous amount of time together. If only you were him. haha.
The thing is, you might think you want her back, but did you end it? If so, what is different now than it was when you broke up with her? You broke up with her for a reason, right? Has this changed or anything since, or are you two in the same places that you were when you broke up?
Also, could it be that you just miss being with someone and she's convenient because it's comfortable and she still wants to be with you (I'm asuming)?
Just think about it. I support love and I hope that you two truly feel it and get together and become happy, ever after. But this isn't the movies and most people who break up go on and live their lives and are actually able to breathe again. And love will be found, in time.
Good luck, seriously!!!! :)
2007-04-01 23:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her, as far as how as you feel. Sit down and talk, and let her know that you are still interested in her, and would like the chance to work on a relationship with her again. And, see what happens.
You mention that you don't want to hurt her again. Maybe you both need to move slow, take one step at a time, and see what happens. And, really keep open communication as to what each of you wants, needs, etc.
2007-04-01 23:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by star22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take it slow and easy. Just ask her out casually - lets go get some lunch etc. Just show that you enjoy her company and have missed her - give examples - I missed the way we used to ____ or I miss how you ___. She will melt. If you weren't romantic during the relationship, do something romantic to show her you have changed. If she still has feelings for you, things should start clicking with you two again. Good luck!
2007-04-01 23:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by casey308 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel about her
go through the steps slower this time
don't hurt each other
it is a give and take thing
it takes time to heal after something like this
start out by dating her
then it should move slowly to only her/you relationship
then all will be well and you two can move on together
2007-04-01 23:05:17 · answer #5 · answered by leroux3s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just start to talk to her as a friend that way you can feel her out.If you hurt her most girls wouldn't give you a second chance to do it again.You say you love her,didn't you love her before.Don't tell me you broke up with her to be with someone else if you did then forget about her she'll want no parts of you
2007-04-01 23:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that u guys become best friends so that u have the best of understanding.U would know her better and her likes and dislikes.Share everything with each other..have respect for each other.Honesty...respect..trust..understanding..loyalty and the basic keys of a relationship..and love.good luck:)
2007-04-01 23:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by Beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u don't want 2 hurt her feelings u should romance her
take her out on a romantic date.make her feel loved,and finally tell her that lov her! (but mean it)
2007-04-01 23:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by leo0595 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask her to meet like friends and if there is chemistry left between u...then it will just happen...u will get back together. ask her to meet in the evening, when the senses are stronger
2007-04-01 23:01:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mystery_gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋