How do i ensure my childs custody remains with me?

Question

My daughters father (who has not been in her life until 2 days ago and rarely pays child support) has decided he wants to be in her life. I am happy about this, but am planning on moving from Ga to NC where he resides (not for him) and do not know if he decided to, if he could try to take my little girl away from me. His dad took him from his mom at a young age and she had to go to court to get him back and still lost and I am really scared of it happening here. My daughter is my entire world and I have raised her on my own since she was born. His Aunt just informed me about what happened to his mom and now I am wondering what to do. My move is for stability and job purposes to make both mine and her life better, but if he has a chance of taking her, what do I do? He is not on her birth certificate, but we have a paternity test from when I pursued child support, which he fails to pay regularly. Is that enough to keep him from "kidnapping" her and trying to take custody?

Answer 1

well, if he does kidnap her he will lose any chance of custody. and most deadbeats who rarely pay can be caught by the law. call your A.G. and figure out if you can send out delinquency notices or something like that so he has to pay or go to jail. it doesn't sound like you are really happy that he has decided to be in her life, with all your fears. so, i suggest you find a lawyer, and make it that he doesn't have anything to do with her. the laws are different in every state so i don't know if this helps.

Answer 2

Failure to pay child support is a completely different issue than custody/visitation. As a general rule, though, the parent who has always been the child's primary caregiver has an advantage over the non-custodial parent, in terms of custody battles. Make sure your child support issues are documented officially (this won't and can't be a deciding factor, but it will influence the deciding judge, if it comes to that.) and make sure you keep a journal of visitations, and issues of cooperation and conflict you experience with him. In the heat of a custody battle, if it comes to that, those things could be priceless.

If he is the type of person who can be reasonable about visitation and custody, I suggest you think about working out an informal visitation agreement with him, so he has no reason to fight about that. Also, if you can later on tell the Court you valued the relationship your daughter has with her father that will help your case. If he can show you have denied him access to his daughter or otherwise tried to prevent him from seeing her, then that will make you look worse in the Court's eyes. The bottom line on custody and visitation is that the child has a right to spend time with both parents... and the parents each have the right to spend time with the child. If you're being sensitive to that, and responsible about documenting your efforts toward making sure that happens, then you should be okay if he fights for custody.

My gut feeling, though, is he's not interested in being a full-time dad. I would focus on setting up visitation and working on an amicable relationship with him, for your daughter's benefit... and be responsible in terms of documenting everything, so if he sues for custody, you'll have everything ready to go.

Always best to hope and work toward the best but prepare for the worst.

Answer 3

First thing you need to do is file a contempt motion for the child support order so you can keep a track record with the courts. And more importantly ensure that your child is getting proper support. Second, try to work out an arrangement when he can slowly get to know his child, leading up to regular visitation. If he is a deadbeat you have nothing to worry about b/c after a few months he wont take you up on his visitation. If he is not than he should be in your child's life permanently...right? You need to try to do this between you two BEFORE you come to NC!! NC is a tough state when it comes to family law not to mention one of the MOST expensive. I just finished almost 3 years of divorce, and a HUGE custody battle(a combined(+$75,000). I live in NC. NC is known for giving parents exact 50/50 so try to work it out and get it filed w/ the courts while you still have jurisdiction in your hands. The worst thing you could do is move here and let him file the papers first. At least if you file contempt then he has to come to GA to appear. Then if he file anything on you, you can say he is just retaliating b/c of the support issues. Try to work something out with him mutually for the benefit of the child. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

It's almost impossible for a father to get physical custody if the mother is proven to be a fit mother.. I know because I am one of the few fathers who was able to prove my ex wasn't a fit mother.. It wasn't an easy fight (even with all the things she did which were some pretty bad things and many of them) as all the courts are in favor of placing the child in the mothers custody unless she is proven unfit.. You have nothing to worry about as long as you are a fit mother and from what you have told us, it looks like you will have no problem.. 1st he hasn't been present in the childs life until just recently.. courts frown on that... 2nd he hasn't paid consistant child support.. a big no no... He already has 2 strikes against him.. and 3rd you have been there where he chose to leave.. strike 3...

Remember courts want consistancy in a childs life.. and it looks like he hasn't been consistant and you have.. Good Luck but from what you wrote you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 5

Of course he can TRY to take her away, but if you are the custodial parent and he's not even on the birth certificate..he's probably going to have a hard time. Is the child support court ordered? I don't know about North Carolina but its really hard here in Texas to prove someone an unfit mother and take her child away. You could walk the streets and sell yourself as long as your kids were take care of. Get an attorney. You're going to need one.

Answer 6

well if he has not made an effort until recently, its hard to say. im in the same boat as u kinda, the father of my kids doesnt pay willingly and has not seen his kids in over a yr. start off slow with supervised visits and see how that goes and progressively increase the timehe spends with his daughter, but if he wants to have a part in her life, who are u to deny that unless u believe that he could put your daughters life in danger or kidnap her, or he is abusive or a drug user. Unfortunately, child support and custody are 2 seperate issues and have no bearing on the other. consult a lawyer and get some advice. good luck to you

Answer 7

First of all failing to pay support is a criminal offense so mister would be stupid to try anything involving courts and if moving to where he is ,is to better the lives of you and your child the don't let him stop you.Make sure you have all the papers granting custody to you so that if he ever tries to kidnap her than he would face kidnap of a minor child and do some time and as for yourself try to keep your nose clean and i'm sure your a great mom or this wouldn't concern you so much....just don't give any reason for them to cite you as an unfit mother...good luck sweetie

Answer 8

All you have to do is tell the judge that since he has had little contact with her since she was born that it would do great emotional harm to her to be taken from your custody and that he has not paid the child support that he is supposed to. A judge normally will not take a child from the mother unless she is proven to be unfit, like she is using drugs, or neglecting and/or abusing the child. From the way you describe him he has little or no chance.

Answer 9

I really dont think that her father has a chance of gaining custody of your daughter. Unless he can prove you are an unfit mother then maybe. But since you have raised her and supported her without his help then I dont see why any judge would grant custody to a dead beat father.

Answer 10

If he rarely pays child support and hasn't been a part of your childs life until now unless you are a danger to the child he will not get custody of the child.