How can i calm my families fears about me enlisting?

Question

My dad and I got into it because I am joining the ARMY. he wanted me to join the AF or the NAVY which neither is for me but anyways. I just want to know what I can say or do to calm him down.

Answer 1

I am truly impressed and happy to hear that you are going to join a group of outstanding individuals. Many people cannot comprehend why we do the things we do in the military and why we subject ourselves to the environment that we do. I know my wife had a hard time with it.

Remember that sometimes people do not understand merely out of fear of losing someone they love. My wife is that way. She couldn't understand why I re-enlisted to go to Iraq. She was scared that something would happen.

Explain to people that you are going to train and serve your country with the most highly trained, most technologically advanced, and most well-equiped military force this world has ever known. Tell them that you are more likely to be killed in any of the major cities in this country than you are over there. Share your goals for the Army and afterwards. Show how the military will help prepare you for the challenging work-force in today's society.

It sounds like your dad is just really scared about you being killed in some far off country. Explain to him that God will protect you keep you safe. All of the branches have their benefits and bad sides. Good luck and keep your head down.

Answer 2

Thank you for wanting to join the military while we are at war. That takes a lot of courage.

I am sorry that your Dad is having a problem with your choice of service, people that have served are always going to be connected to the branch that they served in, that is unavoidable.

There is really nothing you can say to calm him down, you can just indicate that you feel that this is the best choice for you. Since you are an adult, it is your decision.

Some of the reaction could be the fact that he is going to worry about you; and we know that men are infamous for playing the "tough" role and covering up their true emotions and fears because they believe that is the way they are supposed to act.

My Dad was a member of the Navy in WWII, and was very proud of his time in the service, although he saw many things he had a difficult time talking about. I always had an enormous amount of respect for him, for many reasons as well as his service time.

My grandmother talked to me about my Dad and one of his brothers joining the service when they were both teenagers (I think they each said they were a bit older, times were different then.)

I can remember her saying it was the only time she had ever seen my grandfather get upset and yell at any of their children. My grandfather was scared that they were going to get hurt or, God forbid get killed; and he could not come out and say that. He thought that if he got mad at them, and made them feel guilty, they would change their minds.

This is most likely, what your Dad is feeling. He is trying to protect you, no matter how old your child is, he or she is still your baby and the parental instinct is to protect them...wouldn't do me too much good, both my son and daughter are way taller than me....(but their Dad and I still think we can protect them at times and they are adults.....ha,ha)

Just keep talking to your Dad in a calm manner and don't forget to tell him how much you love and appreciate him, he will be holding onto these words in his heart during your time in the service. (He may not admit it, but he will...)

God bless you and keep you safe. I appreciate every moment of freedom and choice I have had in my life due to the service men and woman who have protected those freedoms for decades through many wars and conflicts in the world.

You are an outstanding young man.

Answer 3

When he was younger, the Army basically meant you were in the infantry, which was the men who would be on the front lines and always getting survived in the Navy and Air Force than the Army in some earlier wars. He's probably not happy about the idea of you getting killed. Do you think that might be what he's thinking? Did he serve in the armed forces? If so, maybe he knows something that you don't. Remember, you can't trust what the recruiters tell you.

Answer 4

Hey you're not alone here. I yelled at my dad because I felt like he wasn't listening to me and my reasons for wanting to be a Marine. My dad said join the AF or Navy too! My brother in law's parents freaked out on him for joining the Army. Also talked to a few people at MEPS that had family members upset about their joining. One guy said his grandfather offered him $8,000 to NOT join. He said the Marine's offer him nothing to enlist but it's worth it for him anyways. It's hard to have friends and family worried about you or not supporting your decisions but in the end it's your life and your decision. There was nothing I could say to my family that made them feel any better. You should do what you feel is best for you and your life. Be glad your dad cares enough about you to be worried.

Answer 5

I joined the Army 4 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made in my life. Think about this route and present it to him this way...
Enlist in Army National Guard. They will pay for 100% of your college tuition. Critical MOS's offer up to $20,000 enlistment bonuses. GI Bill is currently $309/month in addition to your tuition assistance to help with books, car payment, etc. National Guard will give you a means to serve while getting your college degree. If you decide you like the army, yu can always transfer to Active Duty. With a college degree, you can go to OCS or ROTC while in school and get a commission as an officer. This is the smartest thing to do!!!

Answer 6

Tell him the war will be over by the time you get out of training. It would be a lie, but it will buy you some time. haha. I don't think there is anything you can say. I joined in 1997 and there wasn't much going on then. My mom had issues when I went to Iraq, but it was my job. Tell him you need to do this for you and not for him. Talk about the college fund and the MGIBill.

Answer 7

I am a parent, and I don't think you can calm your fathers fears. Mind you I'm a mother, but its the same fear. Maybe a better question is why are YOU not afraid? I mean you are going into a army that many, many highly educated people do not support. To sacrifice your entire life...for what? Your dad is right. Sometimes you can show your respect for the life and roof and food you were given by just allowing your father to get his way. Part of being a man, instead of a rebellious teenager. I'd hate to see your idealism wasted on this war. You can't imagine how this one decision will change your life forever. Maybe just take a leap of faith and realize your father may be right this one time. Why not put it off for another 6 months so you have time to talk to your family and make sure you don't leave them with anything unsaid, and any hard feelings. There are many many other organizations that you can join to get respect. Volunteer to be someones big brother. That is making a "real", difference in the world. Good luck to you whatever you do.

Answer 8

Don't enlist. Join the Peace Corps of something else. Your dad cares enough about you to be concerned about your long term health. Being in the Army or Marines puts you into harms way in Iraq. Just pay attention to how many troops are killed and injured everyday in Iraq. These are real people and not just a talking point for politicians. P.S. I am a veteran

Answer 9

Because he's not a coward, Mr weasel, Good luck and God Bless

Answer 10

Air Cav is the only way to fly. Hooyah!