My boyfriend just broke up with me, but he still wants to be friends! I feel so crushed and I don't want to be friends with him anymore! I feel like he is a big, stupid jerk! I've told him this but he doesn't seem to listen. He just wants to be friends! What should I do?
2007-04-01 12:46:49 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Alot of times boys say they want it to be over then say I want to still be friends just so they can be what we call "friends with benefits" Boys these days dont really want commitment they just feel there are presures of being in a "relationship" so they like you and love to spend time with you but also want that feel of freedom. I know your in the moment and feel as if you hate him but if you really feel you need him as a friend than become friends. At the same time I know it can be hard to try and just be friends with someone you had strong feelings for. You just have to know yourself. If you feel you can handle it and wont let emotion get to you and fall in those old feelings than let the past be the past and have a new friend. If you know your heart and you know you will be pressured in those old feelings than tell him when you love someone so much you cant just be there friend. Also watch out for if you do decide to be his friend that you dont let him get the benefits of a girlfriend without the title. NO friends with benefits for you. Hope all will go well for you :).
2007-04-01 13:11:24 · answer #1 · answered by lovelylady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's usually pretty hard to deal with. If he won't listen to you and he still keeps pushing the friendship thing, this is what you should do: Instead of abruptly stopping all relationship with him, its best to just politely fade away from him. Let him know you don't want to be with him anymore, but do it in a polite manner. Like if he ever wants to talk to you, politely say no thanks, or I have to be somewhere. Do it over a few times so he'll lose interest in friendship, and after a while, you'll notice that he's drifted away and moved on.
It's a nice method because no one gets hurt, and no one is losing anything or anyone because you both are just moving on because of lost interest. It may not be the happiest ending, but it works
2007-04-01 12:58:01 · answer #2 · answered by Hunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a good place to start would be by just not talking to him anymore. Don't answer his calls, don't let him in your home, and try to move on. Don't let yourself go down hill over a guy, and don't let some guy string you along which is what he's going to do by being friends with him. He's going to come back for sex and then leave you hanging all confused. I know the type, and you don't need that. Especially if you're a young woman. Look into your heart and decide if his "friendship" is worth it.
2007-04-01 12:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Tabitha B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty much impossible to be friends with somone immediatly after a break up. Tell him maybe later down the road you two can be friends but not now. I'm friends with all of my ex's but we cut off communication for a couple months after wards before we could ever truely be real friends again. It takes a while and although you hate him now, dont rule out being friends with him laer because you never know how you'll be feeling 6 months from now
2007-04-01 12:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by CandyCane1987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that as things stand right now you cannot be friends. Tell him you need time to disconnect from him emotionally, and recover from the losing the relationship. After that's done and you feel together you'll think about getting in touch w/ him if you feel it's the right choice for YOU.
Dude-- sometime ex's want to be "friends" because they can't stand the idea of someone being out there in the world pissed off and hurt because of something they did. But the truth is if it wasn't right for him-- ultimately it wasn't right for you either... but it's normal to need time to get to the place of being able to see that. He should let you be. If he doesn't he's not really concerned for your feelings. Try to go at least 30 days with out speaking to him.... seriously it works. You'll feel much better.
2007-04-01 12:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by luchadore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you first break-up with someone being "friends" right after usually isn't wise. Give yourself some time to get over him....Just beware - most of the time when the ex says "Let's be friends" means Let's still sleep together with no string attached! But I don't know the guy...but just keep your guard up!
2007-04-01 12:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you can't be friends - maybe one day in the future, but not now. Seriously, why are guys so dumb and ask if you can be friends? It makes no sense right after you just hurt the person. If the person was your friend and hurt you a lot, you'd need time. So tell him you'd need time before you can be friends - if that's even possible.
2007-04-01 12:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by carinyosa99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't required or obligated to be his friend. Ask him to leave you alone and move on with your life. Maybe at some time in the future, your opinion regarding the friendship may change. You need your space now and I am sure some nice guy will show up for you.
2007-04-01 12:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I feel the way you do I wouldn't want to be friends w/a guy I just broke up with and my ex-husband wanted that and well it doesen't work he cut off all contact w/me and he refused to accept that I didn't want to have a relationship w/him he'd show up at my apt w/out calling 1st and I think he just wanted a remarriage was to get out of paying my divorce settlement which was to be paid 2 years after the divorce decree. I didn't take him back.
2007-04-01 12:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by kathmrc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that right now is not a good time to be friends because it just happened and you need some time to think things through; and maybe then you guys can become friends, just right now is not the time
2007-04-01 12:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by Hypnotiq_x 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋