What is the etiquette for hosting a "Welcome Baby" party after the birth?

Question

A fellow student hosted a baby shower for me and another expectant mother. Unfortunately, only 4 people came and even fewer had time to purchase gifts. Despite the low turnout, many of my friends (fellow students) did want to come but it was too last minute: the hostess decided to throw the shower the same week and sent out invitations via a mass e-mail just 4 days prior. The date also conflicted w/a holiday and our exams. I'll be frank. This has been a difficult pregnancy and I'd to celebrate with my friends. This is my first child and DH and I are both full-time students who live far from family. We "need" many basic baby things. Gifts would be a great help. May I host my own "Welcome Baby" party after the birth? If so, may I invite friends who were also invited to the shower? (Remember: the shower invites were sent via bulk e-mail to the entire department only 4 days in advance.) Or would this be considered a duplicate shower invitation? How would I handle registry information?

Thanks so much for the answers. I especially appreciate that you all appreciate that this is a little tricky. When it comes to events that involve gift-giving (weddings, births, birthdays, etc.) sometimes I find it difficult to distinguish a "shower" from an "open house" type of thing. I've hosted many showers in my day and tend to follow traditional etiquette closely. This is why I’d feel terribly uncomfortable hosting my own “shower”. FYI: the weirdest thing about all this is that in the past few months I've been asked by many of my friends "When is your shower?" Many also offered to "help" plan one. I tried to graciously explain that, to the best of my knowledge a shower wasn't planned. I then referred them to the other folks who had also "offered" to help host one. (You wouldn’t believe the number of people who told me that I should host my own! Clueless, I guess.) Also, in my case the shower hostess never asked about my registry or what I needed.

FYI: Everything that I've purchased for the baby (and most of the gifts I've received) were all used/secondhand. I'm a HUGE fan of reducing waste by re-using.

Answer 1

This is a bit of a pickle.

Invitations to baby parties should be sent out 2 - 3 weeks prior to the party by a little card - not by a mass e-mail invitation - you know people have stuff they plan, giving ample notice would put me on your list.

I understand your need for baby stuff, however, it is not like a wedding where you "register" your gifts. Baby showers are a hit and miss.

I suggest a friend send out the invitations for a welcome baby party, you provide little sandwiches and tea cakes and tea/coffee/soda.

I really love the idea of actually seeing the little baby after the birth, what a neat idea to see newborn rather a bump on your tummy.

Invitations could say something like, "Let's welcome Sarah/David to our world" whatever is appropriate and try to include a little picture.

If you still don't have enough, then try going to second hand stores for baby things. There is nothing wrong with this. Just wash the stuff prior to using.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 2

I'd suggest personally inviting everyone for 2 reasons:

1) Bulk emails are impersonal & do not express your desire well enough for wanting this or that person to show.
2) You usually get a better idea of who will actually be there.

There's nothing wrong with hosting your own party after the birth. If people feel you're being greedy they're obviously not too aware of the situation.

Answer 3

I personally would consider it inappropriate to throw a party for gifts. If you'd like to have friends over for a party to welcome the baby and for company that would be fine. Registry information would be redundant. If people choose to bring gifts because they were unable to attend your previous baby shower, that is their choice. I would invite close friends only. Not everyone likes or enjoys baby showers.

Answer 4

You can have a welcome baby party. That would be very nice. Your friends would get to see your new baby.

If I am unable to attend a friend's baby shower, I purchase a gift anyway and make sure it gets to the new baby.