will the court grant her instant custody?should i go to the court earlier to try to file first? should i get a lawyer ? i am totally lost here what should i do?
2007-04-01 10:56:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If your girlfriend has an attorney you should absolutely get one too. Your attorney can best answer any questons you have.
2007-04-01 11:00:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In most states, unless you are married or have been declared the father by the court, she already has custody. You sould try to talk with her about working out an agreement without the courts. I assume there is no hope of that. In that case, you need a lawyer. You will not get custody unless she is unfit, but you can get partial custody and visitation. She cannot keep you from seeing the baby unless you are unfit, so don't stop fighting. You will have to pay child support, be ready to appear cooperative and I would send her checks now, (make sure they are checks or something else you can prove). The more you appear to work with her and to try to help her with the baby (although that is not how you feel toward her at this point) the better your case will be.
Best wishes, babies need daddies too!
2007-04-01 11:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you should consider what is best for your son.
Who files first doesn't really matter. And no, nothing will be automatically granted simply because someone files.
You say "girlfriend" but I have a feeling you may actually mean "ex-girlfriend." I hope for both of your sakes as well as for your child that the two of you can at least be amicable with one another. The more the two of you can work out on your own the better it will be for everyone, especially your son. If you fight about it, you'll both spend needless money on lawyers.
You may need a lawyer. You'll want to find out about all the laws in your state that relate to custody and child support. You can do an internet search for "child support calculator {your state}" to run different scenarios based on how much custody each of you end up with. If you are both good parents the court should view your rights equally, if either of you is involved with illegal or dishonest things those should be documented.
Custody can get split up in just about as many ways as people can imagine. If the child is still very young it may not be the best idea for him to be sleeping in different places on a regular basis and you may want to come up with a plan in which he stays at the same place every night, but sees the other parent for an hour or two every day. When we were younger we spent one month at a time with each parent (two months in a row in August and September), and then whatever holidays fell within that month we spen with the custodial parent for that month. Other people divide up the holidays and then rotate them from year to year.
2007-04-01 11:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should do is obtain a lawyer. In some cases, the court does automatically grant custody to the mother, but that's not always the case. Usually they consider each case individually and do whats best for the child, putting the parents feeling aside. But get a lawyer ASAP, they have tons of experience doing this. Don't try to handle it on your own. Best of luck to you. I think a child needs both parents, so I hope you two can amicably come to a joint custody agreement.
2007-04-01 11:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by Giving/Seeking Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers do NOT automatically get full custody! You need to find yourself an attorney NOW. Do me a favor though... don't try to take the baby away just because that's an option for you. My ex-husband took my children from me: I couldn't afford an attorney and I thought Mother's were ALWAYS the first choice... it's been 5 long HARD years for me with visitation only. I have always been a great mother it all came down to who had the money to fight. My ex-husband didn't do something good for the children and I can only hope that when they are older they can be heard.... but until that day I'm stuck with a lousy situation. I think all parents should have 50/50 custody... kids have the right to have both parents.
2007-04-01 11:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would file also, just to show the court that you do want to be part of the child's life and you are willing to so what it takes to ensure that you are, then get a lawyer. The court will rule that either one of you have primary custody and the other will have visitation rights. They won't take your child away from you, unless there is good reason to. A court ordered custody agreement is as good for you as it is for her. It will ensure both of your rights to your child. Just show the court that you are willing to do what it takes to be a good father and you will have nothing to worry about.
P.S. the court will set a date for a hearing (usually about a month out) so you have plenty of time to get your ducks in a row.
2007-04-01 11:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by sunny_day_grl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the state of Illinois the mother already has custody unless you are married. Get a lawyer and go to court. She will most likely have custody already cause she is the mother. In illinois the father signs a custody agreement if they sign the birth certificate at the hospital giving custody to the mother unless she is unable to properly care for the child. You are going to have to go to court. Who has the baby and where is it now. And where has it lived since it was born.
2007-04-01 11:03:09 · answer #7 · answered by littledueceb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that since she is filing for custody the three off you aren't living together, if that is the case this is probably better for you than her. (Unless you aren't helping out with support then you are going to have to pay up). I wouldn't worry about getting a lawyer yet...see if you can work something out with her first, but always remember the boy, this should be about what is best for him not for the two of you. If the two of you can't work out a schedule then you will probably have to get a lawyer.
If your child is older its normal to do every other weekend and sometimes a night or two a week(for dinner or something). I wouldn't recommend overnights for a younger child (toddler/infant). My daughter is almost two and she goes with her dad every other weekend because we live far apart and she hasn't adjusted well and when she comes back her development seems to have regressed.
You will need to get all of you financial information together so they can figure out support payments. They will need it for both of you no matter who gets custody.
2007-04-01 11:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer so you are fairly represented, since this is your son & his health & well being is what matters most. In most cases, joint custody is granted, but you just need to wait & see what happens. If your g/f is granted sole custody, you will be awarded visitations rights. Just wait & see what the judge says. Keep cool & don't display any anger if something ticks you off. Many eyes will be on you. Good luck!!!!
2007-04-01 11:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will not necessarily get granted custody. There are allot of factors the court will decide on. What I would do is contact a Family Law Court and see what they would advise you to do. Maybe share custody. Again it depends on your situation Good Luck
2007-04-01 11:03:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show up in court tomorrow. Bring a lawyer if you can. If not, start looking for one right after court lets out. File for joint custody. Start being a responsible, nurturing parent right away (if you aren't already doing that). Your child deserves two active, involved parents, working together, civilly, for his best interest.
2007-04-01 12:22:04 · answer #11 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋