Honestly, I like it when a guy spends money on me on a date,
but sometimes I feel like I am in dept to him..
I remember this one guy took me to the movies, and after the movie, we were sitting in his car, in the parking lot.
He wanted me to give gim a BJ.
Giving BJs are fun for me, but sometimes I don't know if I am just being manipulated about it.
But if I don't blow him, then it is just like I am using him for his money and his car.
I don't think there is anything wrong with blowing guys, but why do guys have to be so controlling about it?
So, don't you think guys (in general) are unfair to girls on a date?.
2007-04-01 09:37:29 · 32 answers · asked by Indian Princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nah. But you should not be giving sexual favors on the first date. I'd call you a whore then.
2007-04-01 09:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You don't owe him anything! I think it's sad now that girls think this way. If a guy takes you out, it's because HE wanted to get to know you - and if all he expects at the end of the night is a BJ and he uses the "but I spent all this money" bull, he IS TOTALLY manipulating you. And he's a JERK for doing so. If all he spent the money for was to get a BJ, he sees you as no better than a prostitute. Especially if he's not willing to return the favor. If he really likes you, he won't just expect such things. BJs are a privilege, NOT automatic.
2007-04-01 09:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by abbeyroadey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't know your age, but I'm sure it's TIME TO REALIZE a few things.
If this is ALL a guy wants out of a date (and most of them do, but not ALL) he's pretty shallow and so are you for feeling as though you owe it to him. You both are more than just bodies and raging hormones. I'd hope there are some more redeeming qualities you could share with each other as well...like intellect, humor, etc.
If you enjoy doing this, do it in a committed relationship and not as a pay back for a guy spending money on you. This is the wrong way to value yourself AND the act.
2007-04-01 09:46:35 · answer #3 · answered by MJ D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you act like a hooker, you'll get treated like a hooker. there is this epidemic called "date whores". these are chicks who will go out with virtually anyone who will buy them a meal, ticket, drinks, etc. yes, these women will give up sex acts in order to keep being taken out. guys catch on quick to if you're a date whore or a person worthy of respect. ever heard of "booty, cash, or grass :no one rides for free" if you don't like being made to feel like a whore, then start paying your own way. that way, when you do have sex it's because you want to and not because you're working off a debt.
if you're dating a guy regularly, pick up the tab. then he'll see you (A) have your own money (B) aren't all about his money (C) you cannot be manipulated into sex and (D) you have some dignity.
2007-04-01 09:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm having a hard time visualizing the situation. Perhaps if you gave me your number, and we went out on 15-20 dates you could show me the particulars.
Seriously though, you don't owe anybody anything, and I'm talking as a guy that LOVES BJs. If you want to feel more comfortable, perhaps pay for yourself on the date. It sounds like you are dating the wrong kind of guys though, if you feel they are treating you unfairly.
2007-04-01 09:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by Captain Fluffy Pants 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guys who do that are what give the rest of us bad names. Next time bring your own money and offer to pay. Or at least go half. Regardless, you are under NO obligation to do anything except a polite "thank you" and the end of the night. Start dating REAL men. Cheers!!
2007-04-01 09:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that guy was just an idiot. You do not have to give a BJ in appreciation for a movie and some popcorn. Stop allowing men to manipulate you. If you feel you owe someone for taking you out then stop going out on dates and take yourself to the movies then afterwards you can please yourself.
2007-04-01 09:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by SmartyPants 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't ask him for anything, you don't owe him anything. You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to do. Hell, it seems like he's the one being unfair, just because he took you to a movie doesn't mean that you have to blow him.
If anything, that sort of sounds like prostitution; he pays for the movie and then you perform fellatio for it. Movies don't even cost that much (unless you live in NYC too) so he is definitely getting the better deal.
2007-04-01 09:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your self esteem so low that you feel you have to reward someone for spending time with you and/or money on you?
Please, think this over carefully.
Go to the library and take out the book: "The Art of Loving" by Eric Fromme.
It is loaded with common sense advice on loving yourself as well as others.
2007-04-01 09:45:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is also called prostitution. You will lose your self respect and gain a reputation like you will sleep with a guy for money and dates. Number two you were invited he offered to pay his only reward is your love and trust. Not give in quickly.
2007-04-01 09:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by LIZA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally i dont expect anything except a kiss on the cheek because if i like her im gonna do every thing to keep her and not take advantage of her, bj are nice i agree but theres more to a woman than sex and guys today need to learn that
2007-04-01 09:42:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋