passsed over for pastor because of family ties?

Question

at our church i have recently learned what i've suspected for a long time....Christians are as ruthless as anybody. I had been called to preach at our church for the past 3 years and have filled in on Sunday nights and also the pulpit on Sunday morning when our then-pastor left town. I have also filled in on other churches about a dozen times in the past couple of years. When our pastor left, the church formed a committee to begin a pastor search. I was asked to submit a resume, but i felt at only 36, i didn't have the experience and also with a large family, i didn't feel i could devote the time to be a pastor. after time, and voting down a couple of others, some people in our church who really run much of the business, decided to have their son-in-law run for pastor and recently was voted in....since then, people have asked me why i didn't "run" and honsetly i wasn't asked and also i felt the responsibility was too great. he is in his 20s and has no training? what is the best route?

two other pastors were overlooked because they hadn't been to seminary or couldn't devote to be a full-time pastor. at one time the comment was made to not have someone unless they were full-time. now this young man has been installed by his inlaws and basically has no experience pastoring a church. i'm a bit concerned for my spirituality and am not sure we can be "fed" by this young man. Not to mention the fact he was led by his family into this position is a bit hurtful, but i am praying quite a bit not to have hurt feelings. also, i found out they were paying him more to fill the pulpit than they were paying me. this seems like a great reason to find another church, but i'm willing to let God lead on that....any thoughts.

Answer 1

What you write about is a sad fact of life. Power and "politics" of control pollutes everything in Society.
There is a place and need for power, but it must be used correctly and always the Heart and Greater Good should be applied. "Love thy Neighbor" and "the Greatest of these is LOVE" are basic Christian tenents.
However, I would guess a minority of people calling themselves Christians really live by these values day by day.

I consider myself a Spiritual person, but not "religious". I believe in the teachings and example of Christ, but also I think it's something to strive for, and something that few people ever achieve, to really act Christ-like in their daily lives.
The best we can do is to try!
I believe in self improvement and self-reflection.

Anyway, enough of that.
Here's what I want to say to you:
Don't feel hurt over what happened. It was not personal. Silly of them, maybe. Perhaps you are a good minister and helped many people; it seems so, because they have asked you about applying for the job.
If you continue your good work (and you don't say, if you do any other work for a living but I guess you must), you will help many other people. At a later time ther might be another opportunity and better circumstances.
There are opportunities if you have the credentials, to help people as a chaplin in a hospital, or work in a Hospice enviornment. I do work with one Hospice chaplin who, after a lifetime of Baptist restrictions, was led by a wise mentor of his to "free" himself of the restrictive, dictated pessimism and brimstone, to a more LOVING and inclusive view of Christianity. He finds so much Joy and Hope in helping people connect with their spiritual side, and helping them heal relationships, resolve spiritual conflicts, and "tie up loose ends" when they are near life's end. The clients just love him. They look forward to his visits, wherein he provides laughter as well as spiritual comfort and practical advice.
The often ask him to officiate at the funerals.

This is just an example of the other avenues in which you could serve people.

Don't get caught up in church "politics" and don't be offended by the wrong-thinking of people temporarily in charge.
It's simply not worth your time or trouble to be upset about this.
There may well be some churches - more and more, I think, which value the person and his/ her dedication to Christ and true Christian values more than they value authority and the desire to run things!

Hope this helps you have another perspective. By the way, being a Hospice Chaplin pays. Not that it's the most important part, but with a growing family we must be practical. Sounds like you are a good hearted man (or who knows, you might be a woman), so keep spending time with your family which is very precious and teaches some of the most important lessons to the children and to ourselves.

Answer 2

We are going through the same situation right now that split our church. Does he fulfill the rules of 1 Timothy ch 3 & 4. also Titus. If not then he should not be in there. The Bible states not to put a young person in a role that can hurt people. You need to pray and ask God to bring the truth to you. Search your heart and Bible. If the church is man run, and not God runned then you need to leave. Being a full time Pastor is a great responsiblity, and one that needs some experience behind them to be a Pastor. A Pastor has a big responsiblbity to take care of the flock, and if he can't do that he will have to answer to God, and can lead many astray. Find the scripture and bring it before the church. If they will not follow the Bible leave. God bless you and your family.

Answer 3

Well, you should have stepped up the plate whether you were asked or not if you really wanted it. And do you mean to tell me that anyone can be a pastor without some sort of seminary training, or in the very least, classes in counseling others? Wow. I didn't know that. 20-something seems terribly young to me. Maybe he'll fall on his butt and someone will have to pick him up. Keep your eyes open. Personally, if I was a member of the congregation - I'd prefer someone with a little more experience (life experience at least) preaching to me. I'd pass around a petition saying the board of directors needs to seriously consider setting some pastoral guidelines. You might as well be following the word of the 17-year-old manager kid down at the dairy queen.

ADDED: In your position, I'd probably look into another church.You're right to follow your heart there.

Answer 4

Lots of people get burned by the church. I know how this "family taking over the church" thing goes. Usually if you don't think it's right for your family and that you need someone who is deeper, then I would recommend finding another church. Most of the time I have seen that people who run churches using the "family system" aren't focused on God and are just about using their power to get things they want and to religiously abuse people into doing what they want them to do. If you think this is a concern for your family, find some place that doesn't operate like this.
The best thing for you to do too would be to forgive them and not let bitterness take root in your heart about being hurt by the church. A lot of people have and this is where Christianity gets it's bad name.

Answer 5

This seems like a very difficult situation, so I think that you are taking the right step by praying. I think you should really confront the leadership of your church as well as the pastor about this and tell them how you feel. Whatever happens after that is all upt to God. whatever you do, you should keep praying all throughout.

Answer 6

Hello, I'm Pastor Yikes, and I was passed over only because I think the Bible god is weird and doesn't exist. That is totally unfair, why was I passed over?

Oh well, never mind. As for your question, who give a damn? But let me just give you a little word of advice: Next Sunday get up to the pulpit when the time is right, and pee in the general direction of the pastor, then walk out and condemn them to Jesus.

Answer 7

Christ reigns with all power and authority and nothing happens apart form His control. If He wanted you to preach there at this time not man nor devil could stop it form happening. In His wisdom He has brought about this event. Many churches are falling away from the truth and are not living in love to their Lord and often then the Lord gives us leaders we deserve. Even in Bible times it was a judgment of God to take away His Word by removing the faithful prophets. Maybe God is bringing about judgment or maybe He will make a mighty preacher from this young man, who knows, but God is in control and we are to submit to His will and leading and content ourselves in that He know best and will work all things out for good to those who love Him. Trust and obey for there's no other way...
Also most men of God have had to wait patiently while they were prepared by God for this high office. Moses in the wilderness, Joseph in prison, David fleeing Saul and many more learned form these experiences to wait on and trust God who alone rules His church.

Answer 8

You really need to go where you can be fed. At my church nobody gets paid, but we all get fed. Our pastor is about 46 years old and has been there for about 20 years. It is all strickly volunteer at my church (averge about 70-80 Sunday and about 30 on prayer night).

Answer 9

Are you trying to tell me that some of the protestant churches are run like for profit family businesses? I've known that for years, and you should too, if you want to be any kind of Pastor to the sheep.

If you want the truth....ask a Pagan.

Answer 10

You weren't passed over for pastor due to family ties.. you said yourself that you did not want to apply for the position because you felt that you couldn't devote the time to it and that you were too young.

After an exhaustive search, these people needed a leader, and asked their son-in-law to step up to the plate where people like you refused to do so.

Your pride is hurt because they didn't come to you a second time and say, "please oh please be our pastor".. this is your issue, not theirs.
If you didn't answer the call, that's between you and your god.
Your job now is to fully support him since he DID step up to the plate.