A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, Sir, I need to see your ticket
not your stub."
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
Smart @ss Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her
family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Smart @ss Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Smart @ss Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,
the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of gas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
AND NOW....FOR THE......#1 SMART @SS ANSWER FOR THE YEAR OF 2005....
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family,but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart @ss guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have
to write the exam with your other hand."
2007-04-01 08:20:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I had a moment of chuckling....cute..smart@ss!
2007-04-01 08:27:29 · answer #1 · answered by Nick Name 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol who as the smart @ss on the last on the kid or the teacher? LOVE IT!
2007-04-01 15:33:57 · answer #2 · answered by DKB_BABY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god! Number one was hilarious! That was by far the best joke I've ever heard in my life!
2007-04-01 15:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by Forgotten Poet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HILARIOUS they are soooooooooo funny... i like the #4, #2, but my fave is #1 hahahahha you are awesome
2007-04-01 15:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha Ha! Funny!
2007-04-01 17:52:36 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!!! Thanx, u just made my day! Thanx for the points!
2007-04-01 15:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
those were good you did a good job
2007-04-01 15:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by OnTheProwl007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahaha there so funny!!!! hahahahaha lol =D
2007-04-01 15:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHA!!!!
2007-04-01 15:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, great jokes, thanks for the laugh ... .... ...
2007-04-01 17:25:51 · answer #10 · answered by melark 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋