I need help??

Question

My mom was diagnosed when I was 6. After the first six months and probably 20 surgeries, she couldn’t talk, feed herself, and she could barely walk. My brothers, my dad and I were caring for her like she was a baby. For a year she was a “vegetable state” and we would then have to change diapers. Those two years were hard on all of us. I don’t think I have ever gotten over the devastation it brought. My mom died two years later when I was 8 right before I started 3rd grade. I was my mom’s “little princess.” My life hasn’t been going to good from there. I am 15 years old now and live in a small Mormon town with only a couple neighbors with my dad and 2 brothers. We are the only non Mormons close by. Just over a year ago we had a family of 6 move in next door to us. They have 2 girls (10 and 12) and 2 boys (6 and 8). At first I wanted nothing to do with the mother. I’ve been that way since my mom passed away.

But the more I go over there the more jealous I become of the girls. As I watch their mom I see all of the motherly things in her as I would like to have in a mother. She takes her girls shopping; she sits in the room and talks to them as they clean it. Sometimes I just want her to sit down with me and talk about my mom, but I don’t want to be the one that brings it up, I guess I just want her to figure out that I need to talk to her and have her bring it up. She is very kind to me, and often offers me to go into town with her and her kids while she runs errands, I turn her down, but I don’t know why. Every time I leave their house I end up in my room possibly crying for hours, my dad has no idea that this is going on, he probably thinks I am in my room reading a book.

Another thing is that since about fourth grade I have been sleep walking a talking and as people tell me the stories about what I did during the night I realize that maybe the sleep talking/ walking is helping me express myself while I’m asleep. Kind of letting my depression out as I sleep. They say that I will answer any question they ask truthfully. Why is this happening to me and what should I do about it? Do you think the neighbors moving in next door is god’s way of helping me cope with my mom’s death and I’m just pushing the help away sort of rejecting the help? I would really like answers and help. Thanks.

She was diagnosed with a brain tumor

Answer 1

You are still suffering the loss. Try to forgive and be kind to others who had nothing to do with your Mother's illness. You will meet a nice caring and loving lady who would like to be your friend. I feel you need a Mom to talk to. Just try to get over your anger. If you continue to have these feelings, pls talk with your Father about them. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

It could be a way of expressing what you truely feel since you haven't shared it with anyone. Your mother diying is a very horrible thing maybe it was god's way of helping you deal with your mothers death and by you saying no to go to town, it kinda shows that you don't want help but i know you probably do. One of these times say yes and go with them see how it makes you feel someone may notice that you felt uncomfortable or something and ask you wants wrong then you can talk about it. If no one does just in a conversation about something related to the topic bring it up, it doesn't hurt to get help from those who love you and those who are close to you.

Answer 3

you have been thru a great deal in your young life but babygirl no one can read your mind if you dont tell them yes god knew you needed someone and help to deal with the pain of losing your mother maybe she hasnt talk to you like that because she doesnt know how much or how bad it hurts you so open up and she will understand and this sleep walking thing yea it is a way to deal with a lot of things going on so tell the people around you to be careful of you so you dont hurt yourself because sleepwalking is dangerous

Answer 4

you do need to talk to someone and not on here see a counselor.