My brother is a Crack addict what can be done?

Question

He has lost his wife, kid's and is killing our father. I have tried to talk to him. He only gets mad and runs away to a crack house. He has been in jail 7 times with no help. he gets out and is back on crack. my father keeps getting him out of jail knowing what he is getting into. I have begged him to let him stay in jail. This is has been going on for years. I am very ill and the whole situation is stressing me out. I can't talk to my father because all he does is tell me all of the bad stuff my brother is doing. I love them both very much but I also love myself and my marriage. My husband has told me to cut all ties with them. I did that and when I called a few months later it all started again. My father is very poor and is about to be kicked out of his house because of my brother. Is there a place I can call to force my brother into rehab? Thanks for listening.

Answer 1

Yes he can be mandated (legally ordered) into treatment. Talk to his PO if you know who that is. You can find out through the last place he was in jail. He almost undoubtedly is on probation or parole with the record you describe. If no PO talk to the last court that sentenced him and ask how family can have him sent for treatment. However your dad is going to have a major fit if you do that. It is also questionable how much benefit treatment will be with an enabling father. So it may be simpler to wait till the next time he gets arrested and then talk with the prosecuter before court and ask for him to be sentenced into treatment and LONG TERM rehab. 3, 10, even 30 days will not get it. I suppose he has no insurance so getting him treated is going to be a problem because these places are not free. See what your state's medical assistance requirements are since they vary a lot from place to place.

It may very well be that your husband has the only plan that will really work. Separating yourself from rather than supporting your fatehr's co-dependency. Your dad is as much a part of this as if he were buying the crack and bringing it to him. You don't need to be part of it by listening to dad and giving him attention for his behavior which rewards and encourages it. Just as an addict often has to hit bottom to realize a change has to happen so dad the co-dependent enabler may have to hit rock bottom loose his place etc. to learn enabling hurts him and your brother. I know that sounds hard but it's real. When I took lifesaving one thing they drilled into us over and over was that you can not rescue anyone who fights rescue unless you can knock them out otherwise they will drown you and themnself too. The same is true in life rescue.

One thing you can do, the only thing I have found ever really changes anything in this sort of situation, is to pray for them both.

Answer 2

an al-anon meeting deals with the relatives of alcoholism, but the principles they teach are applicable to all types of addiction. they are free---bring a $1 donation if you like. easy to find in any neighborhood.

there is also a site rational.org that gives practical advice to relatives of addicted people, and is very hostile to al-anon and 12-step programs---but for relatives/friends of addicted people the advice is very similar.

I can't tell you anything you don't already know in your heart, but you may e-mail me anytime, and if you like I'll call you and we can talk, or we'll just e-mail a few times.

you know what needs to happen, and cannot make it happen. no one can make something happen when other people are involved. I feel for you.

depending on where you live, yeah (or no) maybe you can force yer bro into rehab. maybe not. laws vary from state to state.

good luck and God Bless---B

Answer 3

I am sorry that this is happening to you but you cant force your brother into rehab without him wanting to go because he wont be ready for it so when he gets out of rehab he well go back and do the same thing once again..

Answer 4

I was married to an addict and it caused the destruction of our relationship. I know how hard this can be. :(

But, you can't control your brother. You can't control your father. You can only control yourself. Your brother has created an destructive environment around him because of his addiction to crack. Your father, thinking that he is doing the loving thing, is only making things worse by bailing him out time and again.

Although in your eyes your brother hit rock bottom years ago, he really hasn't yet, nor will he with your father helping him. But just as you can't change your brother, you can't change your father. The only thing left to do, the only LOVING thing left to do, is to tell your father that until he stops enabling your brother you will be unable to continue your relationship with either of them.

There's no sense you killing yourself because your family refuses to do what is healthy.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Your brother is making his own choices and you cannot help someone that refuses to help themselves. Tell him at this rate he will be 6 feet under sooner than he thinks and the State can pay for his buriel, you're not going to let him break you financially and he knows your dad is already broke so no help will be coming from there.

Answer 6

sit your father down and tell him that EVERY time his son gets out of jail free like that- he is only getting out to do more drugs! that staying IN jail will stop him...
if your father WILL NOT listen, then, you need to get out of that enabling family
since your brother is an adult, (albeit not a good adult!), you can not put him anywhere... he has to WANT to stop...

Answer 7

sorry to hear Ur story but i don't know of any rehab centers look in the directory or ask a friend hope Ur problem goes away may god be with u