Situation's as follows:
I love this girl since 2 years. But I didn't propose her coz my best friend loves her too!
Well the girl doesn't love him and told him so last year in December. Latter was hurt and I comforted him as he was my best frnd! Still I cudnt help feeling guilty of even feeling love for the girl who had hurt my best friend so much.
Well I tried to stifle these feelings insyd of me but yesterday we were txtin and she told me she refused a guy who proposed her... Also yesterday was ma birthD n she was the first at ma birthD party n others came 20mins later, we sat n chatted lots n those long stifled feelings were once more awakened. Nw i dunno wat to choose; loyalty or love?
Help me!!
2007-04-01 06:39:14 · 27 answers · asked by ] z i [ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As it is quite awhile since she and your friend split he must of moved on , go with your heart I am sure your friend will understand
2007-04-01 06:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are all that good of friends, I wouldn't say it is all that risky to just have a round table talk with all three present, add a box of kleenex, discuss it and see what everyone thinks...it may be that in light of current events, you all agree to call off any thoughts of romances but everyone stays friends (let them rekindle again later if they are bound to happen), or everyone does their own thing (romantic and social) for a while, is that a horrible thing? It is not like you have broken anything UP, there wasn't anything there in the first place, and if there was, it was bound to be unhealthy if you feel guilty that you are stealing from someone, or hurting their feelings on purpose.
Friends don't have to keep secrets from each other and it sounds like by dancing around this, you are not dealing with it as honestly as you could. This will hurt everyone.
This sounds like a chance to validate each others' feelings and accept them, but keep some guidelines about how your relationships will work day to day. Otherwise it will all become an emotional, sneaky, unfairly personalized and unfriend-like mess.
2007-04-01 13:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose love, if he's a real friend, he'll be hurt but cope. If he doesn't and blows you out, then he wasnt worth it. Bear in mind though that he may crawl away to lick his wounds for a while so it may appear he's gone off.
Give him time if he scoots.
At the end of the day though, he won't keep you warm at night.
You sound like a steady decent man, so hopefully your choice of friend had some bearing on this.
2007-04-01 13:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by Paula R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately we just cant get any person we want and to my point of view you've already been loyal enough with your friend so far.
So, now that the girl is free, and your friend has already been rejected, why not taking a chance with her. And dont worry about your friend, I'm sure that if he's as good friend for you as you're for him, he'll understand and let you be happy.
2007-04-01 13:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by Karl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the girl. True love is hard to find. I'm sure that your best friend would understand, seeing as she has no feelings for him anymore. If he doesn't understand, then he isn't a very good friend after all. Go after the girl because you have to be loyal to your feelings and not just your best friend.
2007-04-01 13:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by Dana Mulder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow yr heart. have a talk with yr friend he might be a little hurt at first but if u r such good friends he will want to c u happy an come round 2 the idea good luck
2007-04-01 15:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by lizjess2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy That is a sticky situation,
Tell your friend that you love her too. And that if he really loved her then he would let her go. Plus he must undersatnd how you feel.
Ask him what he would do in your situation.
Afterwards tell the girl. Do you even know if this girl likes you?
If you don't then DO NOT tell your friend first.
2007-04-01 13:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lexilicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have always heard a saying:
"Don't chose a girl over a friend, you arn't 100% sure you will last with the girl, if you break up with her, you would have lost the friend also."
I know it goes something like that.
2007-04-01 13:46:19 · answer #8 · answered by Helena 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just stay friends with this girl. She looks like a hard person to pin down. And if it is meant to be, you and her together, then in time you will both get closer and things will progress from there.
Good luck.
2007-04-01 13:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by Happihawkeye 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. Do you love this girl enough to ruin your friendship? Perhaps you can find a someone for your friend, too ;p
2007-04-01 13:44:04 · answer #10 · answered by Iamsocool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋