Baby mama Drama...what to do?

Question

My husband has a 4 yr old back home in florida that his baby momma just approached him with three months ago. He claims he knew there was a chance he could have gotten her preg, but they broke up a month after they had sex. So he never knew of a baby. When she called him and said they had a 4 yr old son, I was excited becuz I have had a hard itme having kids, and i LOVE children. Off top she was going off on him about seeing his son. So b4 his trip there I bought the kids sum cool stuff and made like a big a5s gift basket. At the last minute he asked me to tag along. So i did, we got htere and i got a hotel room, and rented a car. I never disrespected her by showing my face. He decided to bring Jr back to memphis with us for a month. We have been home two weeks with the lil guy. Ive taught him to call me by my first name, even tho i am his step mom. She calls OUR house daliy cursing me out. Sayin don't touch her son, dont feed him I may try to poisen him becuz Im jealous that she has >

< has a baby with my husband. I would never hurt that child, I love him like i love my own. What do i do? How do i go about making things better? Keep in mind she is very ghetto and I am a classy type female. What do I do?

DOOBIE- as far as me and him puttin the babies mom in an aptmnt close to us wudn't work! SHES 2 GHETTOE! I even invited her to come stay a week or two so she could see how we live, every thing is ok, she cursed me out again. My husband says its jealousy, she is stuck in the ghetto, when me and him have left the ghetto got jobs and bigger and better. So that would only add fuel onto the fire!!! lol

We have caller ID and what she does is block her number or call from sumone elses threeway in hopes that Iwill pick up the phone!

DEA PEPPER< back child suport already came up! As sson as she found out about meshe said she was gonna do it! LOL and it threw her becuz I told her WE'D pay it in 3 lump sums to get it out the way! So ghetto and young she was like "b1.tch I don't want your money" she 4got that me and him are married so the income is OURS!

Hey mother, I know my limits being a sstep mom, but I treat him no didfferent than the child my husband and I adopted. I am not trying to take his moms place at all! If i were in here shoes, i'd be worried but I would go about int in a MUCH different way!!!

DEAR malandrina, the word a5s came from anger in that sentence! I bought all this stuff to show his mom that I care for her to never let him touch it! When i say I am classy, i work a nice job, i can put on a knee knirt and knee boots with a button down and look nice, she on the other hand will throw on sum sort of booty skirt and stilletos and go to the club! BIGG DIFFERENCE! Me sayin a5s and her callin me a ugly 4 eyed, d.1ck biting ho3 is 100% classless, am i wrong?

Answer 1

The only thing you can do is kill her with kindness. Take really good care of her son, he is four years old and can talk. I'm sure if anything happened he would say something to her and I am sure she asks him things. As far as her calling and disrespecting you, that's something that your husband needs to take care of. I mean if I was the baby momma, I would want to treat that other person with respect, because that person has to be around my child and I don't want anything that I said or done to be taken out on my child. That's something that she should think about. I would tell your husband that he needs to tell her that- not to say that with her acting dumb would make you want to harm her son. She obviously knows that there is nothing to worry about if she let her son stay with you guys for a month, she just wants to play the ignorant baby momma role and bring drama. Don't worry about her let her cuss you out and act a fool and you stay classy and handle your relationship with your husband and your step son.

Answer 2

Okay, ghetto, classy, I understand why you mentioned this but those factors have nothing to do with having a back bone. In no way shape or form should you allow that woman to think that she can call your home and disrespect you. I understand that you don't want to antagonize her verbally, but when she starts in on her tirade, hang up on the b*tch! Until you have some legal presidence in affect just don't speak to her, but don't listen either. First, your husband needs to establish parental rights. Is he absolutely positive the child is his? A paternity test should be conducted, just for legal purposes. Second, he needs to document all of the expenditures towards the child, so if the child isn't his, he can sue and get his money back or some form of restitution. If the child is his, he still benifits from having a record of the fact that he is supporting his son. Since you stated that the woman is ghetto, that will be an important element to have documented when dealing with the situation. Don't put it past her that she wont supercede your husband to court claiming he doesn't support the child, and try to secure some ridiculous financial windfall in the form of child support. As your husband secures all of the above, then you speak to him and tell him that you are not a garbage pail for this woman to dump her sh*t in. Let him know that you understand and respect the circumstances of his relationship to her as far as the child is concerned, but as your husband, he owes you a duty not to bring turmoil and disrespect your way. If necessary, once all the legal ramifications are taken care of, you may want to consider a restraining order against this woman, or possibly, your husband can pursue full time custody, and a restraining order to boot! This woman sounds like a horrible role model for this child and you sound as if you represent better. I wish you luck, and I hope this helps!

Answer 3

I have a friend in the exact same situation. For a female like that the only thing you can do is to continue to be respectful and classy as you are. The problem is that you now have the man and she doesn't, so there is a jealous factor. Talk to your husband about it and see what his aspect is. Maybe even try meeting with her(all of you) and talking things out. Reassuring her that you are going to be apart of his life because you are part of his father's life, and for everything to be in good interest for the child she needs to start acting like an adult. The name calling and cursing is very juvenile and it makes me angry when females get made at the other woman just because they are going to be around the child. God will bless you with a child if it is meant to be. I wish you and your husband all the best and stay being who you are, don't change and stoop to her level.

Answer 4

What a nightmare. That woman is the type to get herself on Jerry Springer for the free manicure. Damn.

If she's cursing you out, you need to record her while she's saying it. It can be very unhealthy for a child to be in an environment where the mother suffers from paranoia, if you know what I mean.

Is that ghetto ***** going to try to stuff your husband for 4 years of back child support, too? That would also be considered fairly ghetto.

I would talk to a family attorney just in case she proves to be a problem.

Answer 5

PUT YOUR SELF IN HER SHOES, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOME STRANGE WOMAN WAS RASING YOUR KID FOR A MONTH. I COULD NOT EVEN IMAGINE. OR MAYBE THERE IS MORE TO IT FOR HER TO BE ACTING SOOOO JELOUS. THAT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT. SHE NEEDS TO EXCEPT THE FACTS THAT YOU ARE HIS WIFE AND SHE IS NOT. YOU DO HAVE RIGHT AS A STEP MOTHER NOT MANY BUT YOU DO HAVE SOME. I THINK THAT MAYBE YOU THREE SHOULD SIT DOWN AND TALK IT OUT. SHE SHOULD AT LEAST TRY TO GET ALONG WITH YOU B/C OF HER CHILD, THAT YOU ARE CARING FOR. I SAY THAT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD TRY TO GET CUSTODY OF THE BOY AND TELL THAT LOUD MOUTH MOTHER OF HIS TO SHUT UP AND GROW UP.

Answer 6

are you and your husband financially secure enough to see about putting her in an apartment for a couple of months till she gets on her feet in memphis. I'm thinking if the two of you got to know one another she would not be so suspicious of your time with the boy. You seem like you could be good for him. At least closer to memphis. maybe tunica. she could definately find work there. just a thought. good luck.

Answer 7

You should sue her for custody. She is obvously psycho, and he will probably be better off with the two of you. Also, get caller ID. When its her number don't answer, let your husband pick it up if he needs to talk to her.

Answer 8

i have a friend of mine that is having this same problem with her step daughter. the mom got mad because she corrected the little girl. i would suggest to you to get it on paper visitation and tell your lawyer what she said. you can sue her for def of character.

Answer 9

classy? I bought the kids sum cool stuff and made like a big a5s gift basket you seem kinda ghetto yourself

Answer 10

there is nothing you can do. it is what it is...baby mama drama. get used to it. sorry