Just found out my girlfriend cheated. Need advice.?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for a little over 4 months now. We are truly in love beyond any words I can describe. She grew up in a small town in another state. Her ex boyfriend lives there. She said she was miserable with him before she left and he got abusive towards the end. She has had to switch her cell number a couple times since she has been up here because he tries to get a hold of her. The other night, she said she had to tell me something that she couldn't hold in anymore and that she loved me so much that she couldn't go on with out me knowing. After a month into our relationship, her aunt died and she went back home. She was out at the bar and got extremely drunk. Her ex showed up they talked. She ended up going to his house and telss me she blacked out. She woke up without her clothes on, got dressed, stormed out. I can't handle the visual in my mind of them together. I need some help and advise on how to proceed and forgive her without the constant thought of this.

I hear what some of your are saying, dump her, however we really do have something extraordinary and this happened a month into our relationship. It was when she was extremely emotionally unstable as her aunt died, extremely drunk, and her ex shows up who she was with for four years. Does anyone think that this can be forgiven? Any advice on how to mentally cope with knowing what they did? She is an emotional wreck right now. She can't express enough about how she love's me and regrets that day every single day since. She didn't have to tell me and I would never have found out. However, she said she loves me and I needed to know if we are going to move forward.

I wanted to add that when I say blacked out, she really did. I have seen this before when she has drank to much. She literally doesn't remember being at his house. She actually went home first to her mom's and he lives right down the street. He was outside apparently and they walked down to his house. She remembers nothing other than waking up. She stormed out and said, " I can't be here! I am with someone and am very happy. I can't believe this happened, etc." It's hard for me to swallow as you know and even harder when i want to know more details and she literally blacked out and remembers nothing.

Answer 1

She cheated only a month into your relationship at a time when she was grieving a death, back in her home town, and DRUNK. I applaud her for telling you now, rather than later or never. It indicates she wants to be in an honest relationship and that she really loves you. If you can't handle the visual (remember the vulnerability she was experiencing at the time), then FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on how much you love her, how much she loves you and your FUTURE together. The past is just that: the past. Don't let it jeopardize your future.

Answer 2

Alcohol is NO excuse, no matter what! It does sound like she loves you though. This was one month into your relationship, Not that serious if you ask me. Not that it makes things better, but it did happen. I wouldn't dump her because by her telling you that says to me that she is looking for something serious with you, and wants any skeletons out of her closet. What she did was wrong, but in this case, i think she deserves another chance. Now on your behalf, you are going to need to get past this. You can't bring it up to her all the time either. that makes things harder. Time will assist you with getting over it. I know it's hard, but you can do it! Keep thinking of the good times you have together with her. Keep your head up though. It WILL pass. trust me.

Answer 3

Maybe you need to think about this. If she cheated on you with her ex-boyfriend then you might be the rebound guy. But when a girl comes from a bad relationship to someone who treats her good then she feels a little scared. She might not admit it but it is the truth. I can understand about getting drunk when a relative dies but when he came to talk to her then she should have stood her ground and told him to leave her alone. She should have never left with him and maybe in way she wanted to leave with him. But if she needed comforting about her aunts death then she should have called you. I think you should break up with her because really, how can you trust after she made such a weak and heartbreaking decision? I am only giving you my advice because she was in the wrong and you deserve better. I wish you luck. If you need to talk then just email me at [e-mail]

Answer 4

The point is, she told you because she feels guilty and she loves you very much and she never intended it to happen. You only call a person cheating in a relationship when you snoop around then find out she went to bed with another man, deliberately. & only after that snooping around, then she feels trapped and decides to tell the truth. I cheated on my husband before we got married. When I ended the affair, I felt so guilty and decided I shld tell him so he can make a choice to still be with me or start afresh with someone better than me. He decided to stick around. Three years into our marriage, my husband cheated on me...maybe to get back at me. But he only came clean when that other woman's husband threatened to kill him and destroy his career. He got so scared and needed my help to handle the abusive man and that was the time he told me everything. Now, you tell me... which is better, to tell the truth because of love or to tell the truth because you're scared your balls get cut off? Anyway, we are still together 'cos I believe in 2nd chances. But if he does this again, I'll wipe out his savings then leave him.

Answer 5

she was stressed and upset and drunk when it happened, it still is her fault and i'm sure she knows it. she seems to be just as upset as you are and at least she was honest enough to tell you, this shows that she wants to try to stay with you.
talk about it.
tell her how much it is upsetting you.
tell her that you still love her.
she should reply that she loves you too.
she should reply that she would never try to hurt you.

slowly you should be able to stop thinking about it but it will take a lot of talking and probably a little crying too. keep trying :)

Answer 6

Someone "in love beyond any words" does not cheat on their bf gf. She is apparently not trustworthy. If she has cheated, what is to say that she will not do it again. To me, you can find someone else that truly is committed to you. This girl sounds like she cannot be trusted and you will always have your doubts about her. That is not what a person should feel toward his gf, to always wonderful if she is cheating again. Find someone else more trustworthy, and let this gf go. You deserve better.

Answer 7

WELL HER AUNT DiED AND SHE WAS iN PAiN (MENTALLY) SO SHE GOT REAL DRUNK. SHE WASN'T PLANNiNG ON CHEATiNG SHE PROBABLY DiDN'T KNOW SHE WAS CHEATiNG. i KNOW iTS HARD YOU JUST WANT TO FORGET ABOUT THE WHOLE THiNG AND GET iT OUT OF YOUR HEAD...BUT iT SEEMS LiKE iTS NOT GOiNG ANYWHERE. THE FACT THAT SHE TOLD YOU MEANS THAT SHE LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO TELL THE TRUTH. iT PROBABLY HURT HER AS MUCH AS iT HURT YOU. YOU SHOULD GiVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE. i KNOW iT HURTS...iT HURTS SO MUCH iT FEELS LiKE i CAN FEEL YOUR PAiN. BUT YOU CAN GET THROUGH iT!! i PROMiSE : )

Answer 8

^ Yeah. It's only 4 months... better now then at 4 years...

Answer 9

Propose a meeting with her and the other guy and perhaps she will "blackout" again and the two of you can have a party with her. Then, stop returning her calls and move on.

Answer 10

4 months shes already cheating move on u deserve better liars cheaters users