Homeschooling proponents, Can you explain this?

Question

As I have stated here before, I do not have a problem with homeschooling if a parent is educated and organized themselves. This has gotten me thumbs down from many of you. Ok, to each his own. Now I would like you to help me understand something.

I have a child who is struggling in school. He is rarely attends, and when he does he is dirty and poorly dressed. (No underwear, pants too large, broken zipper..) He never finishes his work (I give him work at his level, not above it.)

His father is little help, his letters go like this, "mi sun hrted his ne he ant gona be in scool tooda." and he tells me that he, "Can't get the child to do no work." The mother is not in his life, there isn't any other family.

Friday I was told that the child would be homeschooled next year! When I asked if the father was really prepared for this task, the local home school group started complaining. How can people who say they care about education actually condone this educational setting?

NJRoadie- so how does this help the child? I'm the first one to say that if home schooling is best for the child, then they should, be homeschooled. My goal is that every child is in the best educational setting possible. But if a child is not being placed in the best educational setting possible, why should we condone it?

Funny how some people always assume the worst. I HAVE offered my services to this father and he hasn't even started homeschooling.

I have offered to tutor his child before school, after school and/or on the weekends. (Yes, not all of us public school teachers are careless clots.) When the father said he didn't have the money or a way to get the child at school, I offered to tutor for free and to bring him back home. That made the father assume that he could get a little tutoring "of his own". I politely got myself out of that situation; I wanted the father to let the son continue with his tutoring, and he has, but there is only so much I can do in a few hours a week when the rest of the child's life is so disfunctional.

This has been really good for me. I have been working in such a poor isolated area for so long that what I now consider the norm, isn't. Nice to know.

By the standards in my city, a child coming to school dirty and poorly dressed is not considered a reason for CPS to get involved. CPS here deals with they tell me are "true cases of abuse" children in and around meth labs, beatings, sexual abuse, gang affliation (parents are in a gang and the children are jumped into the gang at 4 or 5. Even before that they are brought along on drug deals and drive-bys), and children being involved with satanic rituals. A dirty kid is not look highly upon, but is certainly not considered something that they would investigate.

Truency is another story. The father says that one of the reasons he is going to homeschol is because he is tired of us filing truency complaints on the child.

Wow, do you know that you can't edit comments? My brain thinks faster than my hands type. Sorry for the typos.

Answer f- I am CONSTANTLY asked why I don't ALWAYS think that homeschooling is the best option for children. I always answer that I think that sometimes it is, BUT NOT IN EVERY SITUATION. When I state this I get thumbs down all the time. I can't figure this out. Homeschool parents are always telling me how much better children are in homeschool, how safer they are, how happier they are, how much better educated they are. Homeschool parents state that they want what is best for a child. And I have agreed over and over that in many cases homeschooling was the best option, but it is no panacea.That there are situations like the one I described when it is not. I wanted to know what people who state that homeschool was best for all children would feel in a situation like the one I am dealing with at the moment. If you didn't want to answer, you shouldn't have, Just like I don't always answer people when they ask why people like me don't always think that homeschooling is the best.

Answer 1

There is a simple fact of life that you cannot eliminate bad things. In a
free society, there is a certain level of "badness" that will occur that is
purely a function of people having their God-given, life, liberty, and
pursuit of happieness. It is structural badness, and endeavoring to remove
it invariably trashes the aforementioned God-given items.

No, we don't get to have a committee to decide who is suitable to be homeschoolers. If we have that, we better have one that decides who gets to be parents, because I see plenty of them putting their kids on the bus to public school every day!!

I also don't like free speech when it means some organization like the KKK gets to march through my town, but because I believe in the First Amendment, I have to tolerate it.

Free society - if you don't like it, try moving to China!!
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Edited to answer your question:
Who determines what is best for a child?
Should it be the government or the parents of that child?

Answer 2

I have the utmost respect for teachers (my dad is a third generation educator), but this is not an educational issue. It sounds like this is a case of child neglect, if not abuse. I don't know of any homeschoolers who would support that type of parenting. Have you reported this to the police or social services?

That having been said, regarding the issue of child abuse and the issue of education: government involvement has had a negative impact on both.

Prior to the introduction of the first Public schools in the late1840's, Americans were the best educated population in the world. Most were homeschooled, and others attended private schools. Functional literacy rates (at the time measured by ability to read and understand the Bible) were at 97% in the northern states and 80% in the southern states.

Today functional literacy rates are down to 75% nationwide. Rates of graduation from a high school equivalent program are higher than 150 years ago, but if you look at the textbooks from that time as compared to today than you would find that in most aspects an 8th grade equivalent education then would be equal in level of education to a 4 year college degree today.

Rates of child abuse have increased in leaps and bounds since the late 60's when most child abuse laws were put into place. In addition, 80% of all reports of child abuse are unfounded as are 60% of cases which are agressively pursued. In the meantime the worst abusers cover their tracks well enough to not get caught and few foster kids make it to adulthood without suffering abuse in some form within the system.

No system is perfect and yes some children will fall through the cracks, but history has shown that far fewer will be lost through a privatized one than through a public one.

That doesn't even begin to address the issue of freedom. If the government has control over how children are raised and educated than they have the power to control the whole population. "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world"

Edit: I do agree with the asker that there are some situations in which children should not be homeschooled. If there is abuse in the home, or a situation removes the parent's ability to give the child the necessary attention than the child's education (and, in some cases, care) should be delegated to someone else.

However, these choices should be made primarily by the child's parents or, in cases where the child is being neglected or abused, extended family. Government involvement should be limited to legitimate cases of physical and/or sexual abuse and neglect.

Answer 3

I am a homeschooling mom who shares your concern. As you know the children who succeed in any academic avenue are the ones who live in a home who are supportive and value education. It takes a considerable amount of time and energy to home school a child. In the area where I live the parent has complete control over the child's education and has complete and legal freedom to not do it at all. Most outcomes are reasonably good I have not seen one that was bad. I have also put 3 children through the public school system and have them come out practically illiterate! That is why I am now a homeschooler, because I know I can't do worse than that.
I hope the homeschooling group will be supportive of this father. Perhaps he can learn along with his son. Regular school is not for everyone. That is the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that it is a neglectful home social services should investigate. You have already noted red flags that could constitute neglect and the desire to remove the child from inspection could facilitate even worse neglect or abuse. You do have a right to be concerned.

Answer 4

Homeschooling is not ALWAYS the best for the child. It is very often best. What you have done is presented a worst case scenario where there is really no good outcome. When parents don't care for a child, the child will likely not do well whether he is homeschooled or public schooled. In this case, it sounds like public schooling is best. BUT, how do we as a freedom loving people enforce this? We don't, because we would undermine the rights of parents who do care about their kids, to homeschool them. The more rights we give to the govt., the less we the people have.

Answer 5

Your options vary greatly, depending on the state in which you live. The various states maintain different (and differing) balances between parents and the state, with respect to who has what responsibilities for and authority over a minor child. I do feel for your predicament. First, I strongly recommend that you contact an appropriate administrator at the school *and* someone at the state's child services department to see what you and they are allowed to do with the evidence you have.
Retain parental notes and your own notes from discussions with the parents. Do your best to separate documentation, observed fact (broken zipper, soiled clothing), your professional opinions (child's academic capabilities), and your other feelings on the topic.
Good luck with resolving the situation. Depending on your state's laws, you may be able to bring enough official notice to bear on the parents and help the child now. On the other extreme, you may have to wait until the child hits the next official testing level, fails, and is forced to return to school, having essentially lost the intervening years of education.

Answer 6

I want to tell you that I hear you and I understand what your communicating. You are a teacher and I can feel how deep your frustration runs. I want you to know that in this world you are not alone, however you have described a situation you have NO CONTROL over. You have put yourself out there, and now you are done. If you pray, do so often for both the child and his father. If you do not pray then blog about how these situations make you feel - perhaps it will act as a form of therapy for you. Last but not least, WHO CARES REALLY ABOUT THUMBS DOWN???? ****'EM. Yours is the first question that I've read that is intelligent and deserving of an honest answer. I know this doesn't help you. Thank you for caring so much. Be well and MOVE ON.

Answer 7

It is more than likely that the home school organization does not know the extent of the educational setting.

By and large, there are different plans that vary from school to school and home school is no different. When I attended a home school, there were "on-campus" plans that featured accredited tutors and teachers, as well as "off-campus" options that relied more heavily on the students' abilities to succeed. There were, of course, other options that were in-between.

Whatever the case, let's hope this kid's parents took an "on-campus" option. This way, he can get more one-on-one face time with a tutor. It sounds like he's doomed otherwise.

Answer 8

While it sounds like there are definetly some obstacles to overcome it does sound like he has some support. Obstacles also don't equal failure and it may be that the one on one time is just what he needs. If you are REALLY that concerned perhaps you could offer your services as a tutor during your free time to supplement - help Dad out? Dad may not be doing the main teaching either -- other relatives are allowed to help out in most states.

Freedom is freedom and that means the good with the bad. I am not saying throw him to the wolves and see what happens, what I AM saying is that you can't start regulating everybody because of a few bad apples then we are no longer free.

This Dad has the right to educate his son as HE sees fit even if it doesn't agree with your idea of what is fit for that you child.

ps.... the abuse talked about above is the exception and not the norm to homeschooling, if you were denied employment you have the right to file for discrimination but outlawing someone elses right because yours were abused is still wrong.

Answer 9

Sounds like there could be some abuse or neglect going on at home which should be addressed even before the education part. Perhaps it would be a good idea to get the authorities involved in this one.

Answer 10

I'm not sure why I, or any of the other home schooling parents here, should be called upon to account for the actions, or lack thereof, of the father you have described, or to explain your local home school group's defense of him.

Do I approve of the way he's raising his son, by your account? no.
do I think I parent of such limited academic means should be the sole source of a child's education? no.

You should express your concerns to the home school group. my guess is that they may be circling the wagons to defend HS in principle. I find it unlikely that they are aware of and condoning the educational setting you describe.

Answer 11

Hm. It seems as if I already answered this question.

There are very few cases such as the one you describe.

BUT, even so, those people have the right to try. If they succeed you will eat your words. If they fail you will be able to say, " I told you so".

The indication that a Home School group is involved causes me to believe that everything will be okay.

There are more people involved than just the dad and the little boy will do just fine.

A father's right to choose the educational method for his family needs to remain intact.

I care deeply about education. And I care deeply about the rights of parents over their own family.

I will not dictate to you what you do for your child and I hope that you will not wish to dictate to me how to raise mine.