There's this guy i work with and it's a long story but I like him, and it really irritates me that I think he's been playing me for a while. Everyone says he is just very shy so a while back I told him that if he ever wanted to go do something together we should. He never picked up on that chance. I don't know what he thinks or feels. It hurts me to have to see him every day.
So the other day I asked him, "Didn't you say you were thinking of quitting this job? When are you going to leave, really?"
Guys, what impression would you have if a girl said this to you and how would you react? I know it sounds like a silly question, but I am interested in your thoughts. Would you stop speaking to the girl?
2007-03-31 23:05:30 · 19 answers · asked by Jebbie 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I mean he knows I liked him. I don't see why he'd be angry now. Does his anger mean he might care about me a little?
2007-03-31 23:14:33 · update #1
Yes it's terrible I'm playing games right back in order to cope with how he's made me feel.
2007-03-31 23:19:45 · update #2
last addition-- even after i told him i liked him and he didn't ask me out, he'd send me sexual jokes and emails about my body. this is why i think he's a player.
2007-03-31 23:21:15 · update #3
i dated someone at work and it was a BIG mistake, you should consider whether you and him are going to work there forever or not. he talks about getting another job but isnt, the main reason is that he is lazy and lacks ambition, most people dont want a change either, so he will probably stay as long as he can.
he may not want to go out with you for a few reasons
1 he knows you like him and he doesnt like you that way
2 you are co-workers and he doesnt want to date a co-worker
3 he just doesnt like you
4 he doesnt want a relationship with anyone and needs to figure himself out first
just play it cool and treat him as a friend only, thats my best suggestion to you, dont mention the past trust me this is the best choice for you since you will be more hurt if you keep thinking you have a chance
Think about this, i dont know about your job, but could you marry and live with someone you work with, will you be happy with him forever? there are a lot of issues just be cool about it, and talk to him as friends and forget about the relationship for now, if he finds himself maybe he will become interested when hes ready, just forget about what happened, and like i said look at him at work like a brother/friend and BE COOL!
hope this helps, just trust me
2007-03-31 23:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Butter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Jeb,
You said that you would be irritated if you knew he was "playing" you, but by asking this probing question that you did, were you not doing the same thing?
I think that if you truly liked this man, and had feelings for this man, that you could just walk up and let him know this, in a straight forward manner. Perhaps he is shy. Some men are and don't know how to approach a woman. I know you made an attempt to break the ice with him by giving him an opportunity to take you out somewhere, and you get credit for trying, but still.......he might be a little awkward asking you.
Based on the information you gave, I think he would have gotten the impression that you were trying to move his decision to leave up a little bit.......meaning that you were attempting to accellerate the process. At least that's how I would have perceived it. And if he does have any feelings for you, it certainly would have caused him some hurt that he might not openly share with you.
I think you need to approach this man, sit down, be straight with him, tell him how you feel, and inquire as to how he feels toward you. And afterward, you might want to give him somewhat of an apology, because what you said could have easily been misinterpreted. I don't think it would cause you irrepairable harm to do that, do you? I think it would show that you had character.
Best wishes.
2007-03-31 23:17:39 · answer #2 · answered by C J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem here honey is he really doesnt like you or he really does but is too shy to make the first move even though you have put the ball in his court. This happened to me many a time and I feel so stupid looking back as your poor darlings practically put it on a plate and us shy blokes stupidly stumble over ourselves.
My advice, just go up and ask him out to the next movie that takes your fancy.
You could try what used to work for me, go for a drink first but make sure your not drinking, that way he gets the courage hopefully to come to your level.
As for him leaving his job you could tackle it by saying we should go out before you leave and take it from there, dont worry about the question, if he fancies you nothing is silly.
2007-03-31 23:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by gingermano 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough to convict him of "playing you", You will know when you've been played. Otherwise, it seems to me you had no choice but to feel insulted (You got hurt) simply because he didn't take the bait. Maybe he isn't like all those hungry wolves, and if he has no interest in you, you should just leave it at that.
You're right, what you told him WAS "...something stupid".
I would have told you, "I thought YOU were going to quit"
2007-03-31 23:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two need some space. Be careful before someone ends up with a sexual harassment charge and lawsuit. I would tell him to leave you alone and see if he backs off.
2007-04-01 00:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by Phillip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the issue. You're irritated at him for not asking you out.
If he liked you he would have already asked you out. Either he's shy or he's not interested. If he's shy, it means you're going to have to do all the work yourself and it'll likely stay that way. That is going to get old real quick. So my advice is to forget about him and find someone who is worth your time and trouble.
2007-03-31 23:11:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry or stress so much about us guys! gee you ladies seem to think if we dont fall all over you right away that there must be something wrong with you ! this is not true! most of the time it is us! we are not confidant enough in ourselves to approach you. now you think he may be shy,youve told him flat out you want to do something with him and prtobably scared the hell out of him! now best thing you could do is come right out and ask him for that date! thats right you go ask, if he says no move on to the next guy ! good luck hun!
2007-03-31 23:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by gands4ever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone said anything like that to me, I'd ask for clarification. I'd say what do you mean by that. I'd ask If I did something to piss the person off and then try to set things right.
He needs to let you know where you stand so you won't be wondering what the hell he thinks. Ask him point blank and don't play games.
I hope this helps.
2007-03-31 23:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jimbo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think that you were looking for me to leave! What tone of voice did you use?
Maybe he is not interested and is using this as an excuse not to speak to you without having to tell you to your face??
I'd let it go and let him make the next move if that's what he wants.
Chin up "things can only get better".
2007-03-31 23:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by Bignips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the context.
If you were saying it playfully, then I'd just laugh it off. If, however, you were saying it with a mean stress, like "When ARE you going to LEAVE, anyways?!" Then I might feel like you don't want me there.
Just my .02, hope this helps!
2007-03-31 23:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by p37ry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋