We've been dating 5 months. It hasn't been the most stable relationship. It started out as friendship, I was getting over my ex-bf who i had been with 2 years and it was a rough time for me. I didn't feel comfortable at that time telling him about my previous bfs from 4 years before, i felt it wasnt the right time.
Well, then i found out i was pregnant with his child. I immediately told him anything i hadn't about my past, childhood, ex-bfs, everything. He can't get over the fact that i was with other guys, even though I'm 100% faithful to him now. I don't know how to make him see that was years ago and i'm ready to be serious and settle down with him.
Since I'm his first in every sense, he tries to get back at me for my past by making me jealous, staring at every girl he sees, etc. He also freaks out when any guy comes near me, even if its a crowded place and somebody brushes up against me, we end up fighting for an hour.
Is this a phase or will it always be like this?
2007-03-31 19:42:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Been there-done that and if you dont nip it in the bud now, YES it will always be like this. But only you know how much you can take, when you get tired of it you'll leave or something will give. It took me throwing my engagement ring at my fiance' and calling it quits before he finally got it. and when i did it, it wasnt a game, a ploy, a reverse pyschology, i had just got sick and tired of his complaining, me explaining unnecessarily, the arguing, the sleepless nights, etc...all bc he was insecure, but thats not your fault, so put your foot down or getting ready for a long life...
2007-03-31 19:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by Free_Spirit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it will always be like that.
He sounds very immature.
He needs to realize that whatever happened in your past is the PAST! He needs to focus on his current situation with you.
Being his first in every sense is not a good thing for you either. He will eventually wonder if you are the right person for him because he hasn't had experience with other girls. He could hold your past against you if he ever cheats on you.
I speak from experience. I was 19 and he was 17. I was with this guy for 4 and 1/2 years. I too, was his first everything. Now I'm 23 and he's 21. I thought that I had found the one i was gonna spend the rest of my life with. We were planning to get married and finally move in together.
Then it happened about 5 months ago. I found out he was cheating on me, he broke up with me for that other girl. Two weeks after he left me, he got an apartment with her and it turns out she was pregnant.
But anyways, you shouldn't be worried about him. Right now you need to take care of yourself for the sake of your child.
You also need to remember that just because my situation or anybody else situation ended a certain way, it doesnt mean yours will too. Afterall, no one online really knows your boyfriend or you.
Everyone is different and things can work out for you.
I hope they do, Good Luck! :)
2007-03-31 20:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by his teacher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hate dating a guy who's been with a bunch of girls! How disturbing! But I do understand that you were young and obnoxious back then, and now you're willing to settle down with him. Sometimes you grow out of thing.
I can understand his fear of losing you. It is obvious that he doesn't trust you. I wouldn't tell my man about being with a whole bunch of boyfriends, that's not really something you tell somebody. I'm not surprised that he doesn't trust you.
It looks like he's going to try and control you. I tried doing that to my boyfriend (because he's very cute), and he hated it.
He eventually told me, "Look, if you can't trust me, how am I to trust you?", and then later he said, "Akiidoka! I'm not a dog, i'm not gonna go gaga over a girl with a handful of Scooby Snax! I'm not going to decieve you, and if you can't trust that, then how can I be with you?" His words made me cry. I then realized that, even though it felt almost wrong, I needed to get off his back and let him breathe, but i then realized, that he loved me!! (we've broken up now, he wanted to be "just friends" with me =/) (i'm 14, so what do I know about love?)
I think it is just a phase, and once you have his trust things will clear up for you. =)
Good Luck!!! Congrats on the kid!!!
2007-03-31 19:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Cute T ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your bf is going thru. My bf is my first EVERYTHING but I'm not his. When I found that out it hurt so bad, even though I know he loves me and wouldnt cheat on me. But I knew early on in our relationship that I wasn't his first and I'd just cry and cry! I never really brought it up and wouldnt try to make him jealous BUT if we had an argument about anything- even anything that had nothing to do with it, I'd put him on this guilt trip of "You dont know what its like, cuz you are my first everything, etc" Then i realized what I was doing to him... He is my first bf but I had crushes and stuff that at the time I thought were big and important, and now i feel stupid for liking those losers and I started thinking how he must feel when I bring up other girls and stuff!
But what really got me was when he told me that he cant take back what he lost, but he regrets it and wishes he could change it but cant, and it doesnt matter cuz he loves me!
Hope this helps!
~Jennifer
2007-03-31 19:54:44 · answer #4 · answered by js95116 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a phase. He is immature and controlling. You made the ultimate mistake. There is not a reason in the world for anyone to tell thier bf or gf about EVERYTHING in thier past. You really should probably end this relationship. Sorry.
2007-03-31 19:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your judgement of not telling all the facts was a mistake.i think he loves you a lot and wants to be with you. try to make him feel that you are only for him,by listening to him and doing things he wants you to do(practically feasible things)cut down on demands and complains.show that you care, but give him his space too.AVOID talking too closely to guys you dont know.start looking at him more than anything else, you will be alright.good luck
2007-03-31 19:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by satpalpunjabi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It no telling how long this would last. From my point of view i think that if he cant accept the things you have done in yo past then move on. dont waste yo time on him if he cant accept who you are. But let him know how u feel and if that dont work then just leave him!!!!
2007-03-31 20:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by jasmine_samuels 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it some time, but that dosen't sound good. Try sitting him down and laying the ground rules. Tell him exactly what is going on, and don't let him interrupt or tune you out. Good luck!
2007-03-31 19:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kirstin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an abortion right away and dump this guy he has problems.It sounds like he was just a rebound relationship that you kept going too long anyway!
2007-03-31 19:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he'll get over it. Impending fatherhood will distract him from the initial shock.
2007-03-31 19:47:32 · answer #10 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋