I'm a young teen, and I was/am being raised Christian Catholic. I dread and hate going to church. It's mind-blowingly BORING and I gain nothing from it. My parents force me to go, and my father especially gets into a violent tizzy if I try to get out of it (my mom doesn't like it much either, but she's not about to get me out of it). I can play hooky maybe once a month, but other than that, I have no say whatsoever. Church is supposed to help me connect with my religion, right? Yeah, well, recently I've been hating the whole religious scene more and more every time I go. My dad, the one who forces me to go, is the biggest hypocrite I know, but I won't get into that.
Don't get me wrong, I love and believe in God and Jesus and the whole deal. But I do not believe that I should have to go to church (which, like I said, makes me MISERABLE) to prove that I do or be a good little Catholic girl.
Any ideas on how to talk to my close-minded, volatile father/just get out of it somehow?
2007-03-31
10:34:17
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19 answers
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asked by
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Society & Culture
➔ Religion & Spirituality
This week is going to be awful. Good Friday... possibly the most boring collection of minutes I have ever wasted away.
2007-03-31
10:36:11 ·
update #1
Well, you must become an adult sooner or later, and your parents need to acknowledge you right to make your own decisions sooner or later. When will that be...never if you don't stand up to your father who is a bully, and a guilt tripper. Stand your ground, and after the yelling stops, then build your relationship with them as adults.
2007-04-07 11:16:08
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answer #1
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answered by Boston Bluefish 6
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I am sorry that your father is a close-minded hypocrite. I was raised by one of those and it is certainly frustrating. I suspect that the only way OUT of the situation is to turn 18 and leave home. In the meantime perhaps you could make the best of a bad situation? I have found that the more I learned about the Mass the less boring it was. May I suggest two short and easy-to-read books? The How-to Book of the Mass by Michael Dubruiel and/or If you Mind Wanders at Mass by Thomas Howard are very good reads and helped make Mass more interesting.
Perhaps the best way to irritate your father is by becoming a better Catholic than he is?
2007-03-31 10:59:16
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answer #2
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answered by Sister Spitfire 6
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It is a bore if you go to his idea of church. Go make an
appointment to discuss the larger church. There are many
activities that are not evidently discussed by your father. He
might think he is being protective. Reader clearly wants to be challenged. Fine. See what roles you can learn that support the faithful and do good works. For example, can you in the next six years be a language specialist volunteer on-call for Emergency Relief Operations? Lab worker on medical ship touring remote islands? Lead the hypocrite like a good shepherd and he can discover your church.
2007-04-07 18:07:25
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Quite frankly, I am/was in the same boat as you. I go to a great church but it has a crappy teen program. My parents teach an adult class, so we can't change churches. But I DREADED going to church, just because the program is so pathetic. I just prayed before we left for church one day that God would just let the program not be so boring. And it hasn't been as bad since. I've been praying about it, and each time it's been getting better & I've been learning so much more.
I'm not sure if that applies to you, but more towards your situation.
Maybe you could sleep over with a friend & go to a different church?
I feel so bad for you that you are hating church! I know the feeling & it is terrible!
How about telling your parents how you feel? Tell them that you starting to just hate the church in general simply because you don't want to go to a Catholic church.
Hope to Help! ~Allie~
2007-03-31 10:43:39
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answer #4
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answered by allie*lindsay 2
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I sympathize with you. I was in your position some years back. Unlike you, i was highly indoctrinated into the catholic church so i was making myself go to church even though every voice of reason screamed that i shouldn't. I got out of my situations of living with controlling (albeit providing) parents by going to a boarding school at the age of 11 and attending a college over 100,000 miles away. That may not be an option for you. The problem is you need a way to feel free to express yourself, choose your beliefs and learn more about who you are instead of who your parents want you to be. Since you are dependent on your parents you have to live under their roof ( i wouldn't suggest running away or something like that, it provides a lot of instability which you don't need). Here's my recommendation: Your father sounds like a controlling character who will pull out all the stops to make sure his little girl turns out to be a mass going catholic so disobeying him will only put you increasingly at the recieving end of his temper. Instead, you know you do not like mass (by the way that's very admirable that you, at your age, despite societal pressures know what works for you and what doesn't). So go to mass and bring something to occupy yourself while there. You only have to be under your parents' roof till you are 18, after that you are free to do as you wish.
But i feel for you. Been there, done that :)
2007-03-31 10:50:02
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answer #5
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answered by uz 5
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I don't think you should stop going to church. Have you ever thought of going to another church. Your parents just want the best for you. I remember when my parents used to force me to go to church. Now I find church very fun, especially praise and worship. But just because you go to church doesn't mean you're saved. Church is just a place fellow Christians or Catholics join together to talk about God and worship him. You need to talk to your parents and tell them how miserable you are going to that church. Maybe they can start visiting some different churches.
2007-04-08 08:38:42
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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I think if your father is that bent on it you should go. You will only have to do it for a little while longer. At least its only an hour. Really truly try to speak to God while you are there and it will go faster. I thank church is boring too, but I wouldn't trade my time with the family at church for nothing.
2007-04-07 13:18:58
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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As long as you believe in the teachings of religion you may as well go and be a good little mindless Christian along with your parents. The government is counting on you to be mentally and psychologically compliant. The quicker that religion can break you the better as far as its concerned.
My advice is to embarrass the crap out of your parents in church repeatedly and eventually if they don't kill you, they'll get the hint.
2007-03-31 10:45:32
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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You dont have to go to church to be a beleiver. Tell your father you have changed to a J W, then going to a catholic church is against your new religion.
2007-04-07 21:28:42
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answer #9
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answered by grasshopper 3
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I've been there. I played sick every sunday for months until they finally caught on that I hated it. If you really can't get out of it that way and don't mind being grounded forever, you could make a scene in church - I bet they won't bring you back again. Or you could just tell your father that going to church is so horrible that it makes you think there really isn't a god. Maybe that will scare him into not making you go. And then you'll realize that there ISN'T a god. But that's the best case scenario. :)
2007-03-31 10:38:20
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answer #10
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answered by eri 7
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