Am I a bad adult because I do not have a close relationship with my parents and I do not want to spent any time with them at all. Whenever I am with them I always have conflicts, problems and drama that comes up. I do not like these things in my life and that is why I choose to spend as little time as I can get away with without them bothering me too much.
It has been implied that I am a bad young adult because OTHER young adults (like myself) LIKE their parents and want to spend time with them and tell them a lot of what is going on in their life. So, because I do not do these things does that make me a bad person?
2007-03-31 09:33:04 · 17 answers · asked by soakingupthesun4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The fact that they're your parents doesn't mean you're required to like them. In addition to being parents they are also people. They are imperfect just like the rest of us. So, no, you're not a bad adult.
I am an old adult (52) and it was only in the last year that I started to really like my mother and get to know her. As it turned out, the reason we didn't get along so well was because I am so much like her. I had to absent myself from her and the rest of my family for four years to finally come to that conclusion. Sometimes it helps to get a little distance. It took a long time for me to see how similar we are.
I remember someone telling me several years ago that the Universe puts people in our lives to show us what we have to work on in ourselves. Try to objectively look at what it is about your parents that annoys you. Take an honest, objective look at your own actions. Do you maybe sometimes do the same things? If so, it doesn't mean you're bad it means you're not too crazy about that aspect of yourself and so you don't like seeing it in others.
Bottom line, take a chill pill. If you don't want to spend time with your parents you don't have to. You are perfectly within your rights to spend time with whomever you choose. When other young adults try to tell you there's something wrong with you, ask them to please honor your choices and remind them that you are not them and they are not you. Let them know you're happy for them that they get along with their parents but you're not there yet with yours and ask them to please respect that.
2007-03-31 10:45:32 · answer #1 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not a bad person, you just does not want to always have to deal with conflicts, problems and drama when you're around them because these things usually leads to stress. Tell those other adults that it's really none of there business and to get on with their life and leave yours alone. You can also on special holidays or occasions send them presents or drop in for a hour or two and let them know ahead of time that if they start up any conflict, problem or drama that you're gone and will stay away for a while till it stops.
2007-03-31 10:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by jamaicaladydread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad adult because you don't like drama. You should know apart of growing up is learning to know or getting to know your parents as good Friends. As an adult your relationship with your parents should move on to a friendlier level. Realize that they won't always be there. If your issues are childhood reoccurring ones...trying a serious family sit down with a consul. Allow your parents to see you in an adult light so you can move on and not loose the time you do have left together.
2007-03-31 09:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Fondaweather 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, you are not a bad adult by not having a close relationship with your parents. the very word "adult" makes you have choices of what you want to do with your life. you do not have to be the clinging vine, because you feel that's what you are supposed to be; rather, you should be the adult that you are and do what makes you happy, and if happiness, is seeing less, rather than more of them, that does not make you a bad person. it makes you a person that has a very large audience. by seeing less of them, doesn't mean you love them any less, it just gives you calmness in your life. i'm sure your would be there for them if they REALLY needed your help. don't let anyone imply what type of an individual you are, it's not between you and them, but between you and God. don't feel guilty. good luck to you in your future.
2007-03-31 09:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only you know why you don't have a close relationship with your parents. It doesn't make you a bad young adult. But please try to work things out, someday your parents will be gone and you will carry the guilt of not trying to have a better relationship with them. Good luck and have a happy life.
2007-03-31 11:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Angel.. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not the bad adult, they are. No parent in their right mind would want to inflict conflict, problems and unnecessary drama on anyone, especially their own kid and then to keep it going day in and day out. Who wants to be around that all the time?
2007-03-31 10:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it doesn't make you a bad adult. you have enough going on in your own life that you don't need the added conflicts with them. i hardly talk to my dad for the same reasons. some young adults are lucky that their parents actually don't act like yours. if they make that comment then just say you don't know my story so don't judge.
2007-03-31 09:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by cowgirlclub 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Fondaweather"gave good advice -you only have your parents for so long! if you don,t straighten things out now or soon you may Never bring it up! Resolve the problem~if you can? Even if you Are a young adult.You may bring something to light that They never knew was an issue?
Just respect them as they are your parents.most do care & just have problems themselves showing/appling this. sad but true.
2007-03-31 10:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by reseda1420 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your are not a bad adult, everything doesn't suit everybody and you can't please everyone. Life is too short to worry about what other's think. You are not a murder, child molester or any other number of people no one wants to associate with, live your life, you still love your parents, but you just can't be with your parents.
2007-03-31 09:41:57 · answer #9 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are different. Some people get along and some don't with their parents. It would drive me nuts to constantly be around parents, and so I am not. Lose the guilt and just do the best you can with a minimal relationship.
2007-03-31 09:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋