What is the kindest thing to do, in regards to my cat?

Question

My cat Smudge has been with me ever since she was a 6 week old kitten, she's almost 15 years old now, and I may have to get rid of her, because my Dad has no immune system anymore, because he's had a lung transplant.
My fiance up in Norfolk, VA said he'd be happy to have my cat and would give her a good home, and a friend of my dad's who lives locally here said the same thing, but I'm wondering if, due to Smudge's age (she'll be 15 on July 24), if the kinder thing to do would be to have her euthanized.
The cat's a very healthy one, which is why I wouldn't want to have her put down, but I don't want her to be too stressed out by going to another home, because she's been with me so long, so I want to do what's best for her.

I forgot to say this, but I live in Florida, while my fiance lives in Virginia.

Answer 1

Well, your fiance has offered to keep her and you will eventually be married and I assume live in the same house, so really, it is inevitable that she live there. Let her go with him and she'll already be adjusted to the new digs before you're even there! Don't euthanize if she's healthy. She'll do fine.

Answer 2

I can tell this is weighing heavily on you! You want what is best for your cat! I am very sorry for your dad's hardship too, btw!

My first thought in reading your question was "15 isn't that old"...if she is healthy and going strong she could have another 2 to 10 years with you (yes, 10 would be extreme, but we had a family drop their 22 year old cat off at the SPCA and she was adopted by a family and lived another 3 spunky years...so it can happen!!). So, knowing that, the thought of finding her good lodgings doesn't seem so futile, does it :)!

Assuming that your cat isn't extremely devoted to only one family member (some cats can almost be dog-like in their devotion to their people) to a point where you fear she would get sick being away from them, which would be easier on you? Your cat will feel out of place and confused for a time, after being in one home for the better part of 15 years, but you can ease that by sending some familiar things with her to her new home. If you send her scratching post, bed, crate and toys along, it will not be a complete alien experience for her.

So then the decision shifts some. If you believe she can adapt, what kind of a time line are you and your fiance looking at before becoming one? If it is a short term thing, perhaps that would solve your situation. If you aren't planning on being married for months or years, perhaps it would be easier on you and your cat to let the family friend take her in.

There is no right or wrong answer here. You need to do what is best for you and your cat.

Good luck with your choice and best wishes to you and yours!

With a smile,
DreamQuestin

Answer 3

Do not have your cat euthanized, they call it putting them to sleep like it doesn't feel any discomfort.
If the cat is healthy how can you even think of it ? Why don't you take the cat to your fiance and live there with him in VA? If you can't go live there, than take him to the local friend of your Dad's and go visit your cat every day until he gets settled.
You think your cat would be better off dead?
Criminals are put to death the same way they put animals down, unless your cat has committed a horrible crime, does she deserve to be executed?

I am truly very sorry I was so hard on you, I know this can't be easy for you, it just makes me so sad when I hear someone wanting to put down their healthy pet, after 15 years of being with that pet.
I wish you luck

Answer 4

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming marriage :)

I know this is a tough decision...when I got married (4yrs ago this summer) my husband didn't want any of my pets with us but luckily my father didn't mind taking them in and caring for them. Now he just only has my cat...I have finally convinced my husband to let me have the cat about 2yrs ago but when I went to go pick him up (his name is Snowball), he'd grown so attached to my father (he follows my dad everywhere, the neighbors tease and say that he is my dad's dog because usually dogs follow owners around like that, not really cats) that I just left him there.

So you see, you don't have to have Smudge euthanized. Cats will adapt to a new owner... all pets do, I've even gotten a fully grown, old dog from a pound once and he adjusted to me after a while even though he'd only had one family his whole life until they didn't want an old dog and put him in the pound.

The tough decision you'll have to face is who to give Smudge to. If you let your fiance give him to someone than probably you'll be close enough when you get married that you'll still see Smudge now and then. If you give Smudge to someone else near where you and your dad live right now than you might be able to see Smudge every now and then until you get married and move away. That's a tough call both ways, so I say just pick a family you feel will best be able to take care of Smudge and love Smudge just like you would if you could keep Smudge. That way Smudge gets the love and care he/she (sorry you didn't mention if Smudge is a girl or boy) needs even if you never see Smudge again. Plus, if it turns out you do never see Smudge again, at least you'll have piece of mind knowing you gave him/her to a very loving and caring family.

Answer 5

Even though she is 15 you say she is in good health. If you have a fiance she must know him pretty well, as you must have spent a lot of time with him. So, wouldn't the cat know him and feel comfortable with him. It would seem to me that he would be the most perfect person to take care of your cat. And also don't you visit your fiance on a regular basis, which would mean that you would get to see the cat. I hate the idea of putting a healthy cat down, he could still have 3 or 5 more years of life left if he is well taken care of. I would consider sending him to VA. Guess your fiance is in the Armed Forces, but must have his own place. I'm sure he would love the company and have the cat to remind him of you. It sounds like a win win solution to me. happy fiance, happy cat.

Answer 6

I hope that your dad is doing well!
sorry to hear that you have to part with Smudge,
don't euthanize her, if she isn't sick.
you have 2 people who are willing to take "custody" of her
as long as they will treat her nice, i would be happy to know that she is alive and well, (and you can go visit), i have done volunteer work for a feline rescue (55 cats received homes because of me : ) as long as no young cats are in that home (that smudge will be going to) it shouldn't be that stressful, and of course the first day or 2 will be an adjustment, but she should be just fine

Answer 7

If the cat is healthy, let those who have offered to give her a home have her. There is no reason to euthanize a perfectly healthy cat for what amounts to her becoming an inconvenience. I understand that she presents a health problem now, but that's not her fault. If she had some old age health issues I might feel differently, but you have alternatives that don't require her to be euthanized. Please let her go to a new home.

Answer 8

You can ask your local friend to temporarily take care of Smudge. That way, you can go by and visit, give the cat a sense of security. She'll be fine with the change, people move all the time, and so do their animals, despite their age.

Answer 9

She may live another several years, so if she's happy and healthy, I don’t think you should euthanize her. Having to leave you and change locations will undoubtedly cause your cat some stress, but I wouldn’t think that it would be so much stress as to make death preferable. If your fiancé has offered to take your cat, I think you should take him up on his kind offer! Not only that, but if he is your fiancé, then you will presumably most likely be married sooner or later, and you will have your cat back.

I hope everything goes well for both your father and your cat! Good luck!

Answer 10

Sounds weird but is there a way to designate a area in you home just for your cat, like one floor of your home, so your father and cat can live happy in the same space. Cause to be honest your cat only has a few years left, ride this time out don't kill it.

Answer 11

Let your fiance keep the cat. The vet clinic I use to work at had a very healthy cat that was aged 23 years. You may have many more happy years with your feline.