I'm 21, but I have no friends. I don't like going on, I'd rather stay home. In fact, I stay home most of the time. The only time I'm out of the house is when I'm at school or work or running some errands.
The problem is, I don't feel lonely or depressed at all. In fact, I'm rather happy being alone.
Is this normal? Should I change my lifestyle?
2007-03-31 03:59:25 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
As a psychologist, I can say that this is often relatively normal. Being a loner doesn't mean you have a psychiatric disorder.
However, I've listed some of the symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder. You didn't give me much information to go on, so I'll let you see the symptoms and decide if you may have APD.
# Persistent lying or stealing
# Recurring difficulties with the law
# Tendency to violate the rights of others (property, physical, sexual, emotional, legal)
# Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
# Inability to keep a job
# A persistent agitated or depressed feeling (dysphoria)
# Inability to tolerate boredom
# Disregard for the safety of self or others
# A childhood diagnosis of conduct disorders
# Lack of remorse for hurting others
# Superficial wit and charm
# Impulsiveness
# A sense of extreme entitlement
# Inability to make or keep friends
# Lack of guilt
# Recklessness, impulsivity
# People who have antisocial personality disorder often experience difficulties with authority figures.
People with APD have borderline personalities (this is a personality type, not borderline personality disorders) which means that there symptoms are ego syntonic. The person feels as if the symptoms are "simply a part of themself." It's a hallmark of APD, so, I cannot say for sure if you have APD or not, since I am not sure if these symptoms are simply a part of you or if they are psychologically unhealthy. However, rest assured if you don't have many of these symptoms, being a loner is normal, and there's probably nothing wrong with you.
Good luck!
2007-03-31 06:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by lilmissmiss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy, why change? If you change and start going out, you probably arent going to enjoy it if you dont like going out.
Dont worry, I know its hard because I am also 21 at college. Every talks about all the stuff they do with friends, and I frankly am happy sitting in my single apartment off campus enjoying my alone time. I work and go to school full time, so I dont want to go out. I've been a "loner" since junior high. But I am happy, so I am not going to change.
If you were lonely or depressed or wanted more friends, I would suggest trying something. And maybe you might want to once or twice. If you enjoy something, look for a group (on campus or off) that does that sort of thing. But again, if you are happy with your life, no need to change it.
2007-03-31 04:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kris 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you accomplish more things by being alone? If so, this may be your reason for wanting to be alone. Try joining a church group so at least once a week you can engage in the company of other people. I'm a loner and must force myself to get out and get around other people. I like writing, reading and sometimes just casual conversation seems like a waste of time to me. Before retirement I worked all of the time or I was always busy at something. I'm enjoying retirement because being alone doesn't cause as much attention now as it use to cause. My daughters were constantly making me do something with them to get me away from work and the home. Enjoy your life.
2007-03-31 04:24:37 · answer #3 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you said you were happy to stay at home alone. I am too and I want to tell you that it is perfectly normal. If you were unhappy about your situation in anyway, then you would have a problem but it seems you do not feel any anxiety from your situation. I make myself go out and spend time with people but i have a small group of friends. I know a lot of people by sight and could probably mention their names but they are not my pal. So try to set a time at least on the weekends when you go out and try to have some fun. Believe me it helps a lot.
2007-03-31 04:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by daixyflexi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are completely normal, and change your lifestyle only if this is what you desire. Many of my happiest moments in life are when I am alone. I truly like to get away from the noise of the world and retreat into some me time. This relaxes me and keeps me sane. Unless you are unhappy, or have depression symptoms, enjoy your time alone. Might I suggest if possible, adopting a pet from a shelter near you. People like us make a great pet owners as we have much time to spend with them, and they give so much back for so little demand.
Do for yourself in life that which makes YOU happy.
2007-03-31 05:43:51 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is normal, if used well, moments of solitude can give us deep satisfaction. I feel the same way. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. Sometimes I get in my car and go out on a long ride. I drive for hours all alone. It gives me time to reflect on what I'm doing with my life. It's really great. It is alright to be momentarily by ourselves. But if it's prolonged periods of isolation, then, that may lead to loneliness.
2007-03-31 05:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I used to be exactly like you. You may feel comfortable right now. But you need to think seriously of your future. One day you won't be with your parents anymore. I think you need to leave and become a man. I'm not saying that you're not a man. I'm only saying that you need to prepare yourself for the future. I'm in the United States Army and I think I'm going to stay here for a very long time. I have been very shy my whole life. I was a bike messenger in Chicago, but I felt very uncomfortable dealing with customers. A recruiter spoke to me about the Army and I joined because I felt it would help me grow as a man. Basic Training (boot camp) was hell but I am proud of the fact that I went throught it. I would suggest that you join the military; Army, Navy, Marines, your choice. You don't have to pay rent. You don't have to buy food unless you want to. After Basic Training it's not too bad.
2007-03-31 04:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always been just like this myself! Even when I was a kid. I had a ton of friends but at recess I liked to walk around on the protruding roots of these oak trees on the playground and "daydream." My friends would want me to come and play with them but I would tell them I was busy.
My teachers and parents were concerned that I was depressed. They tried to talk me out of my depression...I just didn't get it. I was happy!
As a teen I liked to chill out under a willow tree in our yard...Just writing poetry or reading. I loved it. But again, the rest of the world thought I was depressed. And I began to wonder myself if they were right...
As an adult I have few friends, but the friends I have are good ones. I would rather be home with just my kids and hubby than to have a ton of friends around. They don't understand why I don't want to go to the club with them or out shopping etc...It's just not me.
So from one person who has spent a lifetime being analyzed, I will say don't worry about changing yourself just because society says you should be walking in the park with one friend each morning and having dinner parties 3 nights a week. Just enjoy being who you are! If you are happy you are normal!
2007-03-31 04:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by just me 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I had the same feelings but I WAS depressed at that time.. however, if u r not depressed and feel fine then don't worry, this is very normal and you don't need to change your life style unless you want to.
people are born with different characters and to be social is one of them; you just don't have this character and it's not a bad thing. so again, this is very normal don't worry..
hope I helped...
2007-03-31 04:06:55 · answer #9 · answered by mograbi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're normal and fine.
Do, however, seek to build a business and develop your strength and character. You might also want to learn a worthwhile activity, such as a martial art so that you can walk tall.
"Loner" is mostly a term that the liberal media have cultivated.
2007-03-31 04:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by Joe C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋