My mother never took me anywhere as a child and now expects me to, why?

Question

Im 25 now, my mom expects me to do things like go on vacation, go out for easter, my birthday, etc..
When i was a kid we never did anything together, she was busy working, i was always alone..i think shes feeling older and lonely. i dont want to do anything with her. I felt lonely and sad as a child because we never did anything. why do them now?

i was left alone at 10, 11, 12, 13,, then at 14 i got a boyfriend and got into a 4 year relationship.. best thing that happened to me when i was a kid.

Answer 1

Why? Because it would be fun & she asked you to. You certainly don't owe it to her to do it though. If you don't want to go, don't go. I wouldn't feel obligated either if I were in your shoes.

Answer 2

Oh, I'm sorry =(
As a parent, your mother had to find some way to earn money for you and the rest of the family, so that you all could be happy and go to college and live a better life in the future . Maybe then, there was no time for vacations or anything else. Maybe then, that's why you felt sad and alone.
Your mother wants you to know that she feels sorry about not being able to take you on vacation as a child, and wants to do that now with you because you and her have the time too. She thinks that in the future when you have kids and a job, they'll be no time for that and you'll be thinking to yourself about never doing anything with your mom together.
See your mother gave you a scarf she knitted but there's hole in it and if you don't fix the whole quickly then your kids will ask why there is a hole in it and you will say that that was the way you got it and then they'll ask you to fix it but then you'll say that you don't have time then the hole will stay as a hole forever!
My advice: Don't take revenge on mama. It's better to do things sooner then later. =)

Answer 3

Do you no how mean that sounds so your mother had to work did you ever turn down a pair of shoes or a dress how about dinner did you ever say you don't need food.Your mother gave you life and all she wants from you is a little kindness.When you have kids and you have to work and you will make no mistake about that lets see if you will quiet your job to stay at home . It takes two incomes just to get by. Do you no your mother might not be here tomorrow and the guilt you will have for the rest of your life knowing your mother tried to reach out to you out of love and you pushed it away.Get over yourself time to grow up.

Answer 4

Your mum had no choice but to work. If she didn’t work, she would have no money to support you and herself. I'm sure if she had a choice she would have chosen to spend time with you over work. I guess she wants to compensate for all the lost time with you. I'm sorry you were so lonely, when I was little I was in and out of child centres given that my mum was a single mum. The experience wasn’t pleasant there and the people that cared for you at the child care were the biggest b*itches you could possible have met!

Edit: There is no need to talk about the past to your mum, it will only upset her, what was done was done. Talking about the past wont change anything, it will just make your mum feel terrible.

Answer 5

Okay, I don't know the specifics here, but look at it from her perspective: she had to work to take care of you, so maybe there's a good reason she didn't have the time. (In other words, she did the best she could.) That being said, maybe you should look at the situation differently and give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she wants to make up for the lost time; if that's the case, you're not doing either of you any good by feeling vindictive to your mom. Give her a chance; you might not have another opportunity.

Answer 6

Well why don't you gentely explain this to her. She just may not see the connection you made, and thinks you as a child don't remember any of this, or let it effect you. But going out once in a while with her isn't all bad. It would make you a better person to do so instead of just returning what she did to you without explanation.

Answer 7

Couldn't tell you. I would leave her out there. You know, that is the best part to life. You get the last laugh since Mom and Dad will need you more in the long run then you needed them.

Answer 8

I think you should tell her how you feel about how hurt you were as a kid, she needs to hear it,, maybe she had no choices, noone to help her and she did the best she could,,even though it was wrong, sounds like she had hard life.

Answer 9

Hey friend.. Your mother was busy taking care of you, providing you everything you wanted by her hard work. Then she did not have time for holidays or for relaxation.

Noe she is free and WHY CAN'T YOUTAKE HER OUT!! Be grateful.. Stop comparing and support your mother!!

Answer 10

She does best for you my friend, why dont you talk to her on the issue, you express your feeling to her,
but please be calm and many times to take a decision
she is your mom, she has taken care of you,
i think you should talk to her, dont be shy. you may feel different because you might not have the habbit to talk comfortably with your mom, but it will help you lot to solve your proplem
have a nice day

Answer 11

Well it is simple she needed to provide you when you were young, now u provide when she is old.I can never figure out what is on mommy's mind but feign that i know everything.After all she is the only one whom i had been in a baby sac.