So there is this girl I really like and she likes me and we are both sophmores. she and I would like to take our friendship to the level of Boyfriend girlfriend, but I can't do that because I am a christian and she is not, and the most important thing in my life is my relationship with my God so If I did this it would definitely effect it. I also think she is curious about what is so great about my God, and I would like to know how you think I should present my standards to her without hurting her feelings, of feeling forced into Christianity.
2007-03-30 18:42:52 · 21 answers · asked by 1-4-all 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First I just want to say that I think it's really cool that you take a stand in your Christianity... some of the guys in my school that say they are Christians don't really show it... especially in who they date. And also I would say that sometimes people want to date someone so bad that they try and find a loop-hole and say oh well I'll bring them to Christ by dating them... don't do that, imagine you standing on a stool and the other person is on the ground and your trying to pull them onto the stool... the person on the ground is more likely to pull you down then you are to pull them up, so the other person would be more likely to pull you away from Christ rather than you bring her to Him. Secondly, maybe if she brings it up you can share Christ with her... The E.E. Outline is a really good way to share and you could just randomly ask her the questions one day when you aren't doing anything else or you're just hanging out, I don't know. I couldn't really understand your wording but if you meant like you want to tell her about how you can't go out with her because of your faith then maybe you should just flat out tell her, "I really like you but I just can't... it's complicated but I believe I should see people of the same faith. I'm sorry." I'm not sure... maybe that could help you get started on what to say... but by what you say to her that might show her that you're different and might want to learn more about Christianity and why you won't date her. I'm sorry I'm not really good at putting thoughts into words... but I hope I helped some. Good Luck!
2007-03-30 19:02:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am not a Christian but many who are have "serious morals". As simply girlfriend and boyfriend you are likely not in a position to force her into your religion. But you are apparently very dedicated to your belief system and she should know this. There is no sure fire way of expressing your feelings to her and absolutely eliminating hurt feelings. But perhaps explaining to her how important your god is to her in the first place would be a good start. Then asking her to come to bible study...church... whatever. You can tell her you would like to wait on taking the relationship further, but at the same time you could introduce her to your religious life. If she likes it and accepts it then it won't be a hard transition. If she doesn't then she will at least have a better understanding of where you are coming from when you have to end the relationship based on religious differences.
2007-03-31 01:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Right All the Time 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, pray for guidance. I can tell you what I think is correct, but I'm human. You might consider telling her you would like to introduce her to your friends at church. If she's at all interested in a relationship with God herself, she will likely go. If she resists any attendance, I can't see how there would be much potential there.
I would NOT recommend "missionary dating" where you date the person as a way of trying to convert them. It's easier on every ones feelings if you actually consider her possible marriage material before you start dating. You wouldn't date anyone who you didn't find attractive physically, there is a similar spiritual barrier for her.
You're not forcing her to do anything. You're being honest and up front with the standards you have for a possible life partner. I wish I'd had the strength and wisdom you obviously have at your age.
I'll be praying for you.
2007-03-31 02:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by Nels N 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no problem with you having a relashionship, you just both have to be tolerant and accepting of what the other person thinks. If she is curious explain it to her, there is no secret or nothing wrong about being different, in life the greatest lesson you will learn is to acept and forgive, and of course love. Its like if you play a sport and she doesnt, she wont understand if you tell her that you tackled a runner or got a red flag or any details of a sport, but as long as she understands and supports you, and you let her be herself aswell, you should have no problem at all. Now remember sometimes as christians we get very judgemental, think before you do that, and remember to have a heart that is willing to love ven though at times it may be hard because it does not go along whith your beliefs.
2007-03-31 01:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Ooo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I respect your relationship towards God. Beleiving in him is the most important thing in religion. I also understand you want to take your relationship to the next level. I'm not you and i have no right to tell you what you can and can not do. However if you truelly beleive in God then I think Staying as freinds would be best for your future. 2ndly if your dear freind would like to know about God tell her openly present your case at a basic level if you see she is taking intrust ask for questions if any and go a bit deeper into the topic.
2007-03-31 02:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by unkown1o1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you could try what everyone else is suggesting here. But if she doesn't want to convert, or is not a big fan of religion all together it shouldn't matter anyway. Your faith is your faith, and while it would be nice to have a partner who shares in it with you, if you really like her it shouldn't be an issue. Everyone has the right to believe what they want, religion wise. You should respect her beliefs, and she should respect yours. It shouldn't interfere with a bf-gf relationship. Do you really think that you would get 'in trouble' with your God if you have a non-christian girlfriend?
2007-03-31 01:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by jade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While differing religious views can be an impediment, as long as each can respect the other, it shouldn't be an issue.
If she is curious, make sure she knows you are willing to help her. Let her take part in sunday Mass and any activities you take part in (confirmation classes, bible studies) which involve your faith. If she is respectful and curious, she will ask questions.
Especially with issues of faith, just remember: She needs to explore this on her own terms. Expose her, and she'll find her own way.
2007-03-31 01:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh what a great opportunity for you. if you're so close with God than maybe God wants you to start proving it by working at it. after all, God and you do have a relationship with each other. here is your chance to show someone who you like that theres someone even better than you and true love in this world! God. good luck. i know God will make this work out for you.
2007-03-31 01:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jenna M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being pretty radical.
If you learned anything, it is that God will love you and anyone else no matter what.
Even if she doesn't believe in your God.
The only thing you have to ask yourself is, "do I really like this girl?". If you really like her, religion shouldn't be a problem.
If she doesn't mind how "Christian" you are, you shouldn't mind how much she isn't. If that makes any sense.
Hope this helps!
2007-03-31 01:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Dana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to follow your convictions. I don't see that just dating someone (at your age) who isn't a Christian will cause problems with your relationship with God. Only you can make that choice. Good luck.
2007-03-31 01:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jan C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋