i know this is extremely stupid, but there's this guy who i went out with 9 months ago, and he was a complete JERK to me.... but i can't get over him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???
how can i find a guy that actually cares about me and will treat me like i treat him?
2007-03-30 16:42:05 · 20 answers · asked by scoot 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
nothing is wrong with you, you just haven't learn how to to really love yourself
there are some keys steps into attracting a great guy and having him treat you great too!!!
number >1. loving yourself you set the standard in how someone perceives you and treat you .
2> when you do great things for yourself people are more likely to do them for you too. example> if you meet a guy and your nails are done he's more like to keep getting your fills because you've already set the standard of who you are and what you require for yourself !!
3>don't ever low your standard for some to please them always be yourself
example > if you don't like horror movies_ say so !! if you don't like smoking around you_ say so!!! if you don't gamble_ say so!!! if the person doesn't like you or is willing to leave you over being you true self that a good thing that gives you more free time for that special guy to find you!!!
I must say that's normal for you to think about the guy you were with for nine months because you didn't have a clue now that you do keep remembering the sad times and the times you were unhappy ____don't go back!!!!!_go forward !!!!
This list of knowing who you are, and what you like, and the way you like it has just begun the way you want to be treated this list has not been finished ! Think about all that I've said and keeping going with it and then live by your list add serveral more positives attributes to it _ good luck!! you're a overcomer!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-30 17:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by Angelstar * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha... I have been saying this since I was in the, well maybe, 9th grade... a while at any rate... "girls love guys that are a$$holes... U are definitely looking in the wrong area for a guy, take this advise "well if you wanna" don't be afraid to venture out there to guy who at first glance u would say "he's not my type" and that doesn't mean that you have to drop you're standards low either. But, from seeing this happen to both of my sisters, I know what u are talking about... this has probably happened to you before right? (I don't mean to be an a$$ either) Anyways, look for a new guy in a store or a library, and not a person u know, are getting hooked up with, at a bar or a club... those are bad places to find someone.
2007-03-30 23:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by shadows 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take this experience and put it to good use. You say he was a jerk to you. I know that had to leave scars and a long lasting pain. And he may have made you feel like you are not worthy of the real, honest, solid, unconditional, solid to the core love that you could be getting. There is nothing wrong with you!!!! It's one of those power issues men use to keep women. But if it has made you a stronger woman, made you want to do right, be right, made you improve and realize your own self-worth, then I think you should thank him for that, as a part of the closure you are looking for. And move on to the love that you know is out there!!!! You will now be able to recognize what to look for in your ideal love. He may not be gorgeous, he may not be muscular, rich & he may even be short! But if he is true you will feel embarrassing, paralyzing, blinding & uplifting love you won't care that he is far from perfect you will just be wonderfully happy on the inside and finally have security in a relationship!!!!! It will be wonderful!!!! Don't sell yourself short next time. Consider yourself the prize and let the next man make you feel like you are!!!! He will be the one!!!!!! Let him prove it .......
2007-03-30 23:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, it is much harder to get over a jerk than it is a guy that was nice to us.. .Why, who knows....but with that I suggest you start going out with friends, to have a good time, not really looking too hard, because that's when it really doesn't seem to happen, and if it does they are mostly jerks, and before you know it, the right guy, the one that you are really wishing for will show up, and don't be surprised and he hasn't been near you already, but you couldn't notice him because you were thinking of the jerk....let the past go, go have a good time, and you will soon meet Mr. right. or at least a really nice guy. Good Luck.
2007-03-30 23:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably can forget him --what you can't get past is the surprize that a man mistreated you. It happens and in life, these are the lessons we are given--learn from the mistakes of going with a person who is not right for you. Yesterday is past and tomorrow is a mystery--pay attention to today, make the most of it and enjoy yourself. It is fun to find a new guy and see what he is like--it isn't a bad thing. When you do find a new nicer guy--you will forget about the other one--just give it time. relax, take it easy, have fun and good luck
2007-03-30 23:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you lived here we could talk...haha! I'm too old anyway..lol...
There's nothing wrong with you per say except...
Attraction is not a choice and this is mainly why you prob are always attracted to the "jerks" bc of this danger, excitement, challenge and so on...
but I guarantee you won't like nice regular guys
bc this doesn't "create attraction" and most women see them as 'borng" and just quit before they even give themselves a chance to get to talk or really know the person and maybe animal deep inside bc they are "nice" and nice isn't creating some sort of instant emotional attraction in them so "bye guy" ...even in your city....they are boring, right? maybe..
anyway..
maybe take this time being single and free and maybe to get to know who you are more as a person and human being and that you really don't "need" a man to be or "feel" complete.
good luck
2007-03-30 23:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you and I are in the same boat I was dating someone for 5 years and he was a cheap son of a b*tch and an a**hole, but I got out of things and how I got over him was getting rid of any and all things he gave me and that started with his letters and his cards. It's going to take time trust me he's not going to be much of anything except a waste of space in your mind. Start with a break to give your heart a chance to heal and for you to heal other areas of your life as well.
You're an exceptional person and you are going to meet an awesome guy who will want a nice pretty girl like you to date and have a relationship with. Don't worry things will get better in time keep that in mind :-D
2007-03-30 23:49:24 · answer #7 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, Im in the SAME EXACT situation.
I dont know why I cant let go.
Its because you fell for him.
I dont know, this guys been treating me like crap
and I still love him more than ever.
Just keep telling yourself that you'll be okay and try to smile.
I know that youre thinking "whats to smile about".
And youre right. But if you just smile even thought its for
no reason, it'll get better.
I hope you get over him. Even though It'll be hard,
When youre in this position you only deserve to be happy.
Good luck.
And by the way, its not stupid.
Its a normal thing to feel for someone
2007-03-30 23:49:14 · answer #8 · answered by Tracy♡ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take TIME... lots and lots of time...sometimes it takes years...probably deep down you remember the times he was nice to you...there was probably a lot of chemistry...You think he will come to his senses and realize what he lost in you...but they never do. I think sometimes we find attraction in the tumultuous relationships...all those ups and downs, there is always something happening...making up is great...but those relationships do not last.... Eventually you will find a guy that cares about you, most likely when you are not looking. Just go on with your life, try not to think about him too much...the best revenge is getting over him and getting on with your life.
2007-03-30 23:52:58 · answer #9 · answered by AugustMarch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let it go and move on. Ask yourself with high esteem in yourself why you should waste your time dealing with someone who treats you like dirt when you know you deserve better than that. Start slow when meeting someone new and get to know them. Try not to let hormones distract or blind you from potential problems with the person that way you don't fall in lust and overlook harmful patterns.
2007-03-30 23:47:03 · answer #10 · answered by kws504 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋