Who should buy the baby crib?

Question

My daughter will soon be having her first baby.
She saw a crib she liked that costs $700.00.
She said that her friend and co-workers told her not to worry about the big items. The grandparent is responsible for buying the big ticket items such as the crib . I am on disability and cannot afford that. I don't know how to tell her I cannot afford it and that maybe her and her husband that do have quite a lot of money and maybe they should buy it.

Answer 1

Unlike wedding etiquette, I don't think there's really new baby etiquette that applies to who pays for what.

We were fortunate that my dad offered to buy a crib for us (he also told us to keep it under $300), and that my mom (parents are divorced) offered to buy the matching dresser/changing table. But in no way did I have that expectation for either of them to get such extravagant gifts.

Hopefully you have a close relationship with your daughter and can bring up the topic to her sooner rather than later.

Answer 2

Oh please! There is no "ettiquette" here. It's her baby, she is responsible for all the accessories, feeding , and upkeep. You did yours, now she will do hers. She should be grateful even if you just remember to send birthday cards and visit now & then. And further, why would anyone buy a 700.00 crib for a baby...unless that kid is going to sleep in it till he's 18 years old, there is no sense in it at all.

As far as telling her...don't waste your time. If you feel you must give a gift...do like others and get what you can afford comfortably. It's rude for someone to ask for a specific gift for any occassion...gifts come from the heart and should be appreciated as such, no matter what. Just ignore her request...when the crib doesn't materialize, she'll get the message. When she has to dig into her pockets to buy it, maybe then she can learn to appreciate the fact that it is an expensive and impractical purchase.

God bless you!...a mothers work is never done!

Answer 3

You are not resposible for buying the big ticket items. And if she can't afford a $700 crib then maybe she should look for something cheaper. You can find good cribs for little or nothing. maybe remind her that the baby isn't going to care how expensive the crib is. and it really doesn't make any sense to spend that much money on something that the baby will not be in for the rest of her/his life.

Answer 4

I was lucky enough to have my parents buy me my crib, it was very nice and helped us out alot but I certainly wouldn't expect it. I have never heard that the grandparents are RESPONSIBLE for buying the crib, it's not your job, you already did the work and spent a fortune raising your daughter, now she gets to spend a fortune raising hers. If they need the help, I think it would be very nice of you to chip in as much as is reasonable to help with the big ticket items. But if they can afford it themselves you should not be obligated to buy it. Especially for such a rediculously expensive crib. $700?? is it made out of gold or something? the crib my parents bought for me was about $250 and I thought THAT was really expensive, top of the line. It's a beautiful, solid wood crib, I can't even imagine what you could buy for 700 dollars. Tell her the baby doesn't care what crib it's in as long as it's safe, and you would be more than happy to pitch in on a more reasonable crib and if they insist on that one then buy them something pretty for the nursery and leave the crib up to them.

Answer 5

HA!! The grandparents dont have to buy anything. There's a reason these things are called GIFTS. They aren't required. By them a nice little outfit for the baby and stop stressing yourself out about it.

And sheesh, she doesn't need a $700 crib. MY bed didn't cost that much and I'm going to be using it a lot longer than the baby will use the crib.

Answer 6

A $700 crib? are you kidding?! Do they make such nonsense...how long does the child sleep in it? I would expect for that kind of money, at least into the teen years.

My kids did fine in the $20 yard sale crib. I bought it. My 'big ticket item' was a swing that several friends went together to purchase.

Answer 7

I don't believe there are "set" presents that a grandparent should buy. If the parents choose not to purchase any of the items they should put what they need on their registry and let their friends and family decide on what to buy. You should be honest with your daughter and explain that the crib is a bit out of your range and I am sure that she would understand...or at least I hope she will....I would never expect anyone to buy a $700 crib for my child.....To be honest, the expensive items should be purchased by the parents.....But that is just my opinion......Good luck with your conversation :)

Answer 8

Definately NOT your responsibility!! How rude of her to even imply that. Especially $700. Its her baby so she should organize it. I would just come right out and say that if she wants that particular crib she better start a lay-by and she better start paying it off. If you can only afford a small amount,tell her that you can only put a certain amount in. I have a baby and i expected no one to buy anything, what ever i received as gifts was a bonus. Im not sure which country you are in but there is no rule like that in Australia.I feel bad that you have been put in that position.

Answer 9

I'm due in May with my second child, and the way I looked at it was that if someone else was going to get me anything big like the crib, they had to offer. I wasn't going to just assume that someone was going to buy it. I waited for my baby showers to see what I would be given, with the thought that if it wasn't there, I was responsible for it. If you make the decision to have a baby, you should be prepared to buy those necessary items and not obligate others into getting them.

Answer 10

The best crib is nothing compared to wanting the best for her baby, I think she should quit cribbing! That may be only a distraction from what's ahead for her.

But who looks at a crib? Who goes to a gallery and looks at picture frames? Get her a digital camera : )

OK, it sounds like her friends managed to get their hints to her already! I guess she is close to giving birth & not thinking straight about your situation. You've already given her something priceless, surely?

I guess you can't say much in your defense, in case she thinks you are being coy and are going to surprise her with one. But what you could do is, if you are contacted directly by those other friends before the baby shower, suggest that instead of all buying small gifts, that every one of you buys a gift voucher for the store she saw it in. That way you can all contribute to something she would like.