What is a funny thing to do when a telemarketer calls?

Question

Thanks!

Answer 1

How to Get Rid of Telemarketers
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If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died. When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

This works great if you are male: Telemarketing: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company...Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to peak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...Would you be my friend?"

If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?"

After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give you credit card number to a complete stranger.

Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my Gosh!!!" and then hang up.

Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... LOUDER...

Answer 2

I had a company call that was trying to sell me a satellite system. They went into their "song and dance" about how great they are and how low the price was and asked if I did a lot of cable watching.

I told them I didn't because there wasn't anything on that I liked. The guy then started again and asked if I would be interested.

I asked him, point blank "Do you offer programming that is any different than what the cable company does?" He said "No, but - " I interrupted him and said, "If I don't like what is on cable, and you don't offer anything different, do you really think I am going to subscribe to your service?"

He hung up on me - hasn't called back since, I went back to watching cable (that is included in my rent).

Answer 3

When a telemarketer calls say "For crying out loud, I don't have you dog!" Then hang up.

=D

Answer 4

Telemarketers suck big time. Here are some proven ways to rid your life of these assclowns for good...


1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Answer 5

Just be like
"HEY!! omg STACEY!! Long time no see!!! Okay, now i know your number! I'll call you every single day and we can like, totally catch up on everything! IHOP, 6:30, tommorow! Be there, girlfriend!"

then just hang up.

OR

You: Hello?
Operator: Hi, this is Karen from Mister Carpet.
You: Oh, hi! I was hoping to get some new carpet sometime soon! Could I speak to a Sales Associate?
O: Sure, just a second.
Y: Thanks!



Sales Associate: Hello?
You: Hi! Oh my gosh, I LOVE your music!
S.A: What music?
Y: Your hold music!
S.A: Oh..
Y: Who composes it?
S.A: I don't know...
Y: Where can I buy it?
S.A: Um.. I don't know...
You: Because my Aunt Marie's birthday is coming up and you know, she's old and she's turning 56 and she really likes that kind of stuff and so I was hoping that I might be able to purchase whatever record that song came on and so I asked you and you said you didn't know but you really shoudl after all, it IS your company. DUH. And if you could PLEASE help me then I will be able to make my Aunt Marie happy and that's really all that matters, ya know? Family, and love. LOVE BRINGS THE WORLD TOGETHER!! So, can you PLEASE help me?!?!?!
S.A: Oh, I don't know!!
You: Alrighty then! Bye!

Answer 6

ha the funniest i ever did was, me and my friend were playing with a cap gun, and we realized if you put it right next to a microphone, the sound from the speakers sound like a real gun, so we are playing around and the phone rings and it was on the caller id.... so i tell my friend when i point to u scream...omg please put down the gun and scream...i picked up in the most pissed off voice i could and said....hello? yea hang on one sec I'm a little busy...i pointed to my friend and she yelled out her part...and i shot the cap gun....then i started talking really fast to the telemarketer....GEORGE GEORGE!!! HELP YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GET RID OF THIS BODY!! and they say something and I'm like wait a minute your not George...you better not say anything or your next, and i hung up me and my friend were rolling on the floor laughing lol

Answer 7

pretend you are the answering machine.
Scream " for God's sake don't. Put down that gun." Then hang up.

If they want to loan you money, say "Yes I 'm flat broke til pay day and I'm having a serious Big Mac attack, could you loan me six bucks, so I can get a value meal?

Answer 8

1) just go like "Domino's" or some pizza place
2) OR break in to song!! and sing really bad on purpose
3) go "thank God you called, I need help with my homework!" and then proceed to make up some challenging math problem

Or, I always just hang up lol

Answer 9

Act like your talking to someone else and when they say anything start swearing and screaming at them....or ask them out on a date and give them someone else's address

Answer 10

I like to put them on hold for a very long time.