If HE's the one who cheated...then why am *I* the one everyone's angry at?! >:(?

Question

Long story short, some jerk "K" cheated on me AND snubbed me for 1-2 weeks so as soon as I had free time from work, I dumped him. Now his brother "E" is mad at me b/c I dumped his little brother "K" on Myspace, but "K" deserved it. "E" won't even listen to my side or leave it b/t "K" and I. Now all these other people are judging me badly b/c of what happened, as if I'M the one who did a "sin" by being a victim of cheating. It seems like even guys who aren't aware of the Myspace dumping thing, but only know that I was cheated on, have been snubbing me, blowing off plans with me, or basically acting like they're pissed at me. Why? >:( I didn't do anything wrong...if anything, "K" should be the focus of ridicule and snubbery right now, not me! I feel like I'm having insult added to injury. WHY am *I* the one who is the object of everyones' hate right now? >:(

We were exclusively dating. I didn't consider it a serious relationship, but I stayed loyal just for the sake of loyalty. So yeah his going behind my back WAS cheating, and he later proudly admitted this.

The reason I dumped him on a public forum, was b/c whenever I tried to call, text, or Instant Message him for the past 2 weeks, he ignored me. On St. Patty's Day, he only answered his phone b/c I called from my friend's phone & he didn't recognize the #. He was curt w/ me and said "I'm going back to drinking w/ my friends now." So yeah he didn't respect me enough to tell me what was up or to even talk to me long enough to say "it's over," so I think he DESERVED being dumped on Myspace. Plus, I had proof via Myspace that he'd cheated on me. He'd let his new gf leave sexy comments all over his site, & he left incriminating proof on her site. Obviously they didn't respect me, so that's why I disrespected him back.

APOLOGIZE to him??? Yeah right, I'm NEVER apologizing nor ever speaking to him again. He went behind my back, carelessly left evidence of it on Myspace as if I was too stupid/naive to figure things out, & wouldn't even let me talk to him long enough to dump me. He also used me for car rides. Later, he only talked to me long enough to say insulting things like "I'm done with you, *****"(even though I'D dumped HIM), and said insulting & untrue things about my anatomy(too inappropriate to post here). He has no remorse for his actions, so why should *I* apologize? Even other people said that he is an "a$$hole to me" which insults me, b/c I'd rather people say that I'M the a$$hole than the doormat that's getting stepped on. I wonder if my Myspace dumping wasn't harsh enough. I should have cheated on him. From now on, I'm not going to stay with a flake or stay loyal just for the sake of staying loyal, screw that! I'm going to do what I want, since no one respects me anyway.

NOTE: I'm not mad at you, actually I'm happy and grateful that you responded. Pardon my angry tone when reading my "additional details." I'm just angry at this little "boy" that I dumped on Myspace. And I really really really really really regret not cheating on him before I posted my Myspace dumping, he woulda deserved that. Instead, he goes around bragging that he cheated on me after I gave him rides in my car.

Answer 1

If you felt no more for this man than to not even give him the benefit of the doubt in explaining why he didn't contact you for 1-2 weeks prior to "dumping" him in a public forum like Myspace, it must not have been a very serious relationship.

If you were not a couple in a mutually exclusive relationship and just "dating", likey he nor his friends (and maybe even some of your friends) are not going to see anything wrong with him dating other girls (not sure how many he could squeeze in during those 1-2 weeks though) or not calling you because he didn't want to lead you on and figured if he didn't call, he wasn't actually "hurting" you because he wasn't actually "dumping" you...just keeping his options open and figuring you were do the same.

Of course his brother and his friends are going to side with him. If you both travel in the same social circles, it will spread like wildfire amoung other guys about the public dumping and it is normal for them to avoid you as they don't want to end up hooking up with you, then being publically dumped.

The best thing to do in that case, if you can't bring yourself to actually apologize to the dumped guy and tell him you were hurt, acted emotionally, and are sorry is to not keep the drama going by talking about it anymore to your friends or his friends and it will fade over time or to start traveling in different social circles.