ive been single for a long time through something very bad,ive lost all confidence,i dont want to be on my own anymore,ive got older kids and grandkids but im still young,at the end of the day how the hell to i get confident to get out there and meet someone
2007-03-30 09:03:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
adultfinder.com
2007-03-30 09:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have grandkids?? You lucky duck, you. I wish! But that's not what you wanted to know, is it?
Losing confidence. Get it back quick. You need it to protect yourself from the wolves, so to speak. The last thing you want is to meet someone who picks up on your vulnerability and then you find yourself in a real mess. When you are comfortable in yourself and feeling empowered by this, then bide your time and it will happen. I have the opposite problem. I've been single for many years now but I love it and don't want another relationship. Yet, guys don't seem to get it and take it personally when I turn them down for a date or just want to be buddies. There was a time when I did want someone in my life and when I went through that I couldn't meet anyone. Now I'm almost a hermit and attracting more attention than I want. All I Do want is grandkids and that ain't likely to happen for a long time. Go figure.
I would, however, advise you to stay away from the computer dating thing, which I'm sure you've already figured out. Just get out there doing the things you like to do, maybe take up a new interest that you put on the back burner and try not to focus on finding someone. Be yourself, love yourself first and chill.
2007-03-30 16:19:15 · answer #2 · answered by OP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure where you are in your life, are you working so that you are exposed to outside people or are you sitting at home? If so, you should either get yourself out involved in a hobby or class where you could meet someone on a casual level, and not feel like you are up against a "want to marry me" wall.
The fact is, that confidence is in your own mind. You and I came into this world the very same way, no greater, no lesser. You have a heart, mind and spirit that is directing your path and you need to trust it. Even though you have been wronged by someone else, that is NO reflection on you, it is only a reflection on them! You are a creation of God, His child, in other words, you are the child of the King and He makes to junk!
Please, pick yourself up and find that girl inside that started in this world (not that long ago) and find her again, what does she like? what does she think? surround yourself with music if you love it, or get your bare feet in the sand at the ocean...there is a whole entire world out there with your name on it, now go out there and inhale it!!!!! You can do it, you are you!
2007-03-30 16:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by OPTIMIST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this happened to me and I felt the same way, I was going through court etc b/c of my uncle assaulting me for 22.5yrs yes that way and I didn't date for a long time either. I was terrified, but when I was ready to date, I found that if I just treated everyone the same and very positive, and I mean male/female friendships that it didn't click in my head oh this is a man (thinking he is a potential date and then get nervous). I found it easier to make myself realise he is a person and I was light and friendly, and they were too. Life is too short to live with regret, you are a great person and we all deserve to be happy so it is our choice to meet people or live alone, Take care Heather
2007-04-01 14:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not scared to meet someone, not really. I'm just jaded and seriously have trust issues. I've been burned in the past and seriously taken advantage of during a particularly vulnerable time. I've had trust issues ever since. And as I've been single now for several years, it really makes it hard to meet someone. I'm working on teaching myself to let my guard down and to take it slow. You know, develop a friendship first before any romantic or sexual involvement, etc.
2007-03-30 16:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by Erin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
never give up hope linda, there is someone out there for you, when the time is right they will come along and sweep you off your feet. even if you dont have much confidence it can happen. Try to find someone close to you who can help for the time being. Get out there with them and just be yourself. You never know when love will find you.. I know its hard but dont ever let fear rule you, you can miss some wonderful opportunities and if you go out on a limb and let it all go and not care is usually when it happens. The time you least expect.
2007-03-30 16:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by alt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been single for the last 18 years. I am too set in my ways now to meet anyone.
2007-03-30 16:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by asmikeocsit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been single for a long time, but only because I didn't want to meet anyone. And I still don't.
2007-03-30 16:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've never had a bf and i'm 18. i'm so freaking scared but i'm just moving on with my life till a guy comes along and asks me out. i don't have the confidence to go ask a guy out. men are not my strong point for relationships. it seems that guys i meet are either already taken or they just wanna be friends. it sucks.
2007-03-30 16:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by collgegrl11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try online dating. That way you can meet someone but can do it from an area where you feel comfortable. Eventually that might give you the courage to go out.
2007-03-30 16:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by kaicey247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try meeting someone online via yahoo 360 or myspace.com, the best way to meet someone after a stretch is to take it slow, make friends and go from there...
it's pretty safe and fun, you never know who you'll meet, but it gives you a chance to screen out the wierdo element.
2007-03-30 16:08:00 · answer #11 · answered by Chris P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋