How do you get through to a 15 month old when he's learning to test you?

Question

My son is at a stage where he looks at me while doing something he knows he shouldnt (ex. touching the TV, or worse the oven) I tell him no and he slowly walks to it. Recently I started flicking his hand with my finger but feel guilty afterward. I say no and hold him away from it but as soon as I let him go he goes right back. If I "flick" his hand he usually just laughs at me too... i feel much worse than he does! I always follow through when I say "no" I think being consistant is most important! Thanks for any help!

I mean 16 month old......

Answer 1

We are so in the same boat as you with out 18-month-old! This link has helped me a lot:

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerbehavior/1475318.html

However, since redirecting doesn't always work with our beautiful little spirited one (heehee!) our pediatrician recommended that we begin using time outs. We always give him a warning and time out is in the pack-n-play in another room for one minute. It has taken us a while, but he is beginning to understand that we mean it when we give him a warning and say, "No! You will go to time out."

Hang in there! As parents, disciplining our little ones is no fun!

Answer 2

Time love and tenderness..lol
Nothing you can do. Just be patient and tell them right from wrong.
Don't smack him, that only teaches aggresion. He's just testing his boundaries. Set them. If he oversteps, then put him in time out. In a chair, or in a naughty spot. I don't think it's too early..but remember the rule..one minute for every year they are old. So your child would only stay in timeout for one minute. That's long enough and seems like an eternity for them.

Having said that, testing boundaries is a part of living and growing. You'll just have to try and keep calm and assertive.
Don't say the word "NO!" Save that word for extremely important 'no's', like if he's walking onto the street or getting ready to touch the stove or something. Leave 'no' for the really big issues. If he's touching the tv, try ignoring first. If he knows he's not getting any reaction, chances are he'll leave it alone. Also, praise him when he doesn't do bad things. "Oh what a good boy playing with his toys. What a good boy eating all his lunch." Positive reinforcement is great. You are your childs cheerleader. Help him grow into a smart confident and loving young man.
No smacking, or yelling no.
Say "don't touch the tv please. that's not nice."

Answer 3

For mine (I am still in the middle of this stuff too) I found ignoring behavior that ws clearly for mom's attention and not a danger to him worked. He would look at me like "you see this, come stop me" I would just keep doing what I ws doing and ask him to help me by doing something else (like "I see you are not playing with the cars, why don't you bring mommy your sippy so we can wash it too"). That works well.

Things that need attention-smacking or throwing things-that is different. For that I step in and tell him "we don't" hit or what ever he is doing. I then take him to a quiet spot away from the activity and sit him down for 30 seconds to a minute-I sit him down and stay with him but don't hold or interact with him. If he is doing something while I can't do this tactic-then I put him in his crib (not my fave since naps and bedtime are always a tough issue). The crib was used 3 times after food throwing and now he is handing me his plate and saying "done mommy" vs tossing the plate over the side of the table to the dog. And right on with being consistent! But like you the mom guilt from the hand smack was too much so that lead to the new plan. Good luck!

Answer 4

That's really good you are being consistent - I agree it's really important.

It amazed me how quickly my little ones began to defy me - way before the terrible twos! But as soon as they begin to defy you they must be quickly taught you must be obeyed.

I would try something more forceful than flicking his hand. Try swatting his bottom very firmly, not necessarily to hurt but to get his attention and know you mean business. If he goes back to the forbidden thing after being swatted, then spank him so that it hurts next time always saying very firmly "Mama said NO."

I think he is laughing at you because he's a smart little guy and he can "sense" that you don't really mean to enforce your no. You wrote that you feel guilty.....so that is weakening you and your son knows it.

Don't back down. These early "battles" are key to teaching long and lasting discipline that will serve your son well down the road. Get the hard stuff done now and as he grows and learns to obey you can start to back off a little bit - but never totally!

Don't ever try distraction - I STRONGLY advise against this because what you are doing is ignoring his defiance. At some point, you will have to confront it because he's not going to stop totally. He might be distracted for the moment but disobedience will rear its head again and again until nipped in the bud.

Time outs don't work well at this young age, either. A child needs a little more maturity to understand what's going on. Physical discipline and a firm tone of voice (and look in the eye) work best for tiny tots.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

Make sure your little man knows exactly what is expected of him at all times. Unfortunately, testing boundaries is what they do. What's important for you to do is be consistent. I know its hard, and I know it makes you feel like such a bastard for doing it, but believe me, it's worth it. If the flick doesn't work, try an alternative form of discipline. I don't know what is important to your son, so I can't really offer suggestions. But the biggest thing he needs to know right now is that mommy is in charge. Mommy can be soft and gentle, but mommy can also be hard, and if necessary, cold. The more consistently you show him what you expect him to do and when you expect it of him, the better he will get about staying in the lines so to speak.

Answer 6

Distraction.
Redirection.
Substitution.

Child touches TV buttons. Mom says "That's a no-no!", then goes and picks up the toddler. Walks across the room to the window, and points at clouds for a few minutes. Then finds a toy or activity for the child, and sets him/her down with it, engaging in play so the child will be interested before left to play by him/herself.

Child grabs at Dad's beer bottle. Dad moves beer out of reach, tells child "Daddy's drink", then hands child sippy cup and says, "Ben's drink" (use your own child's name, obviously). Daddy and Ben play at toasting their drinks together for a few moments, and Ben wanders off with his cup.

Toddler is found playing with mom's cellphone. Mom says, "So you want to call Grandma? Let's call Grandma on *your* phone!" Proceeds to "call" Grandma on play cellphone, hand it to child, and gently retrieve the real phone. Continues playing "fake phone" with child for a minute, or maybe even calls Grandma for real on the cellphone (or home phone), holding it to the child's ear so they can talk.

There are endless ways to distract young toddlers from the troublesome things we'd rather they didn't do, or get into. The bottom line is that it takes a lot of attention and consistency. If it's not ok to touch the TV buttons today, it can't be ok tomorrow when you're busy on the phone and don't want to chance a screaming fit. Toddlers don't need to be punished with a smack to learn that something is wrong, they just need to be given the same message every time.

Follow your instincts here, Mama. You're on the right track! You just need some creative suggestions. I hope mine have been somewhat helpful. :)

Answer 7

I completely believe Jenny A and golytlygirl. touch your community delivery to 3 application approximately early intervention. My son replaced into purely asserting some words at 15 months previous. at 18 months previous I asked the familiar practitioner approximately it, and he stated to furnish it time. At 18 months he nevertheless wasn't asserting lots greater and the familiar practitioner nevertheless wasn't aggravating. i replaced into . I have been given him screened via EI and he failed the speech element. He replaced into despatched to speech medical care and evaluated lower back. the ST stated that he replaced into an entire 3 hundred and sixty 5 days at the back of in speech. he has a issue with tongue flow. He can no longer flow his tongue in direction of his nostril, or the corners of his mouth. I desire I were greater obdurate whilst he replaced into 18 months previous, and pushed to have him screened. have your daughter evaluated. the two way you might have an answer. in the event that they say she is high-quality, large, you could relax. in the event that they say she has a delay, then they'll organize for her to have medical care and he or she will have the means to make progression. additionally in case you have her examined now, you may sidestep a lot of tantrums through frustration. My son had a dozen or greater an afternoon. as quickly as he began ST and studying sign language those tantrums all yet disappeared.

Answer 8

Exactly what you are doing! Maybe apply a little more presure when you flick his hand or get on his level and firmly tell him no....and remove him from the situation. You are correct that consistency is the best thing...especially at this age!

Answer 9

I tried the "flicking" thing with my son at that age and it didn't work either. He started hitting me and his twin sister and thought it was ok. I started doing time-outs instead for 1 min. and worked much better. I had to hold him in the corner at first but he really hated time-outs so he would stop his behavior even with the threat of it.

Answer 10

Try this. My child has been fascinated by the oven ever since he could walk. I keep a very large paddle hanging on the wall. After the first time he did something that would endanger his life, I sat him down and explained what the paddle is used for. He got the hint and he doesn't go anywhere near the oven now. My husband and I have never used it but it's always hanging there as a reminder to our children that if they misbehave they'll meet with the paddle. By the way, my husband and I are both college-educated people from wonderful families.