what do you think?

Question

me and my bf/fiance have been together for almost 4 years now, we have a daughter together and live together in a townhouse. he isnt a big drinker or anything but ocasionaly when a couple of his friends from work ask him to go to the bar with them, he asks if i mind that he goes, and say no and he wil go. he doenst go all the time i think a total of like 2 times since we have been together. my best friend thinks that its totally wrong that he goes and that bars are for single people. and that im crazy allowing him to go. but i think me telling him he cant go is going to anger him and make him go anyway and think i dont trust him. my friend says that she would never let her man go and i am asking for it. i would like women and mens opinions. is a bar with your friends a place to meet women only?? is it the same thing if i go out with my friends to a nightclub? please help me with this one.

Answer 1

You should both have alone time, with your friends.

Answer 2

There's NOTHING wrong with it!

I've been married for 4 yrs, and I go out to the bar EVERY Thursday night with my friends.
You and your guy have a great relationship no? If you trust him, then there's no reason what so ever to not let him.

Like you said... he's gone what a total of 2 times?
A bar is NOT a place to only pick up ppl. It's a place that we can hang out at. Tell your friend to relax, and not get so worked up over it.
Unless she has proof of him doing something, she should really mind her own business. sorry if that sounds rude.


good luck! Things will be fine!

Answer 3

You are doing the right thing. My husband will occassionally stop off at a bar with friends from work, play pool and I never know when he get's back because I'm sleeping. It means you trust him and that goes a lot further than you think. Don't listen to your friend. Does he let you have girls night out? It's a give and take deal. If you let him, he should let you. If he doesn't let you hang out with the girls, no matter where it is, he should be reminded of what you allow.

Answer 4

Your friends sounds like a control freak. I see no problem with going out once in a while with friends. What? once you get maried is that it you only go out with that one person you can't have friends?? Negative i completely disagree with your friend. I think that getting out with your friends and haveing a laugh is good for one another it then in return gives you something to come home and talk about. And since you say he has only gone out 2 time since you have been together there is def. nothing wrong with that. If you both love each other then there is no problem with taking a night to get away and have some time with friends that should be done 2 a month at least. Poker games, bowling, fishing, golfing etc. both of you should go and spend time with your friends it betters you realtionship because one of you go out then the next night you can talk about what happend and you will be so happy to see them and it will work. Promise you!!!!

Answer 5

First off your friends don't know what there talking about and secondly it's your relationship not there's,you made it last for 4 yrs. Has your friends been with then man that long and even if they have it wont last for them.You know when us women say we don't want controlling men,it's the same with a man.A trusting relationship is going to make it further then someone who wants to keep there partner from doing what they want.If your ok with it then it really shouldn't matter what you friends think.A bar is just a place for your b/f to have a time for him and his friends...If you wanna have the chance of losing him then go ahead and listen to your friends?I think your just fine.Listen to yourself and not your friends!Good luck....

Answer 6

I understand where your coming from, and one thing I've learned about relationships is that trust is always a big issue. If you both love and trust each other truly, then you should not have a problem letting him go out on occasion. Theres going to be times when he wants to be alone, and theres going to be times where he wants to go out and communicate with other men/friends and have a good time, and the rest and majority of his timeIf you both is all saved for you and your child. If you dont let him have a bit of "freedom" (lack of a better word) he'll begin to think your smothering him and thats when he'll start getting upset.

Trust me, I know lol.

If you both trust each other, neither of you will have problems hanging out on your own.

Answer 7

No not at all you apparently trust this man and that is a requirement for a successful relshp. What about u do u go out w the girls for supper after work ?most women do occasionally.

Answer 8

Ask yourself this: Do you have a good man? Do you love him? Do you trust him? Is it possible that your friend is jealous of you? Cause that's what it sounds like to me! Your man is courtious by asking you, respectful by not going all the time and believe me, if he didn't love you, he would do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted! You're fine, sweetie. Tell your friend to hush...she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Answer 9

Well you know your man and men also need the boys time so if you don't trust your man y u getting married
Let him go to counciling if his got a drinking prob

Answer 10

I don't see anything wrong with him having a "boys night out" from time to time. Your friend acts as though she is a control-freak with her man, and honestly I don't know why any guy (or gal) would put up with someone who tried to be so controlling like that. So long as you know your man isn't doing anything wrong, then no worries. Your friend sounds like she is trying to meddle in your relationship.

Answer 11

You did nothing wrong and I applaud for your letting him do that. Going and having a couple of drinks every now and then should be fine. Don't worry about your friend, thats her opinion anyway.