2007-03-30 06:37:32 · 38 answers · asked by fdsafd s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's not that simple. It may be okay after all. It's purely situational, and there are somethings to consider:
How recent is the ex? If he's an ex-boyfriend from six weeks ago, that's different than an ex from years ago. Do you know the ex? Does the ex know you? Has your girlfriend introduced the two of you, or does she keep him a secret? Do you trust your girlfriend? If you honestly answer this question as "no" or "not totally," then IMO, you have bigger problems than a couple beers at happy hour.
I am happily married. I have a very, very dear friend who happens to be my ex-boyfriend. I no longer consider him my ex-boyfriend, because he's my friend. We get together at least once a month for dinner/drinks.
Here's the difference: He and I had been broken up for six years before I even MET my husband. When I started dating my husband, I introduced them one night. My husband knows we used to date, and he's okay with the friendship. I've never been anything but honest with him. He respects the fact that a) I would never in a million years cheat on him, b) that my ex and I are no longer dating for a reason and c) he needs to be able to trust me for our relationship to work.
2007-03-30 06:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by sylvia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I go out drinking with different ex boyfriends all the time. My current boyfriend does not have a problem with this and is glad that I keep up my friendship with them. I sometimes go out with a few exes and my current at the same time. They all get along great. I have never ever done anything unacceptable with the exes, and my boyfriend trusts me.
If the girl still has feelings for an ex, then I'd be more worried, as long as it's truly over, then I don't see the problem.
2007-04-02 05:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by KateScot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long ago did they break up? If they dated forever ago and still managed to be friends over the years, then yes its ok. It's obvious that they realized the relationship wouldn't work and opted for a lasting friendship instead.
However, if this was some ex that she just started talking to again out of nowhere, then that is completely innapropriate. I would think that to go out for a drink with an old flame could mean there is still potential for some sparks there.
2007-03-30 06:56:18 · answer #3 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not acceptable behavior because "drinking" can lead to a lot of problems or one thing can lead to another, so NO!
Although it does depend on what kind of foundation you and your girlfriend have based with each other. If you created a foundation based on trust, then you'll trust the person she is and the choices she makes. On the other hand, if you based a foundation based on togetherness, then you'll want to make all decisions together and do everything together. So think about what kind of foundation you've created with her and establish the boundaries of the foundation.
2007-03-30 06:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you what: I personally would be livid if my girlfriend wanted to go out drinking with her ex. But the real question is how do you feel about it? If you're uncomfortable with it, then maybe you should say 'no'. Considering you made a post about this, it sounds like you might not approve...
P.S. Who cares what anyone else thinks, what do YOU think?
2007-03-30 07:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common these days to consider a person dead to you when you break up with them. I think this is silly. Most of the time I was friends with someone before we went out, and when we broke up, we were able to go back to that. (it's called emotional maturity, people.) It occasionally happens that a girl will ponder the question "huh. Why'd I break up with this person?" and you know what? Every time I've asked myself this question, the answer came back to me loud and clear, usually from their own actions. So if they broke up decisively, you have nothing to worry about. You've got less to worry about, in fact, if you let them hang out together than if you dont. Absense making the heart grow fond, and all that.
It might be that your girl has a similar outlook. Friends are friends, and there is a reason she is with you and not him. If they've known eachother forever it isn't fair for you to ask them not to know eachother anymore.
If you're really not comfortable with this, then suggest group activities with all your friends to which all of hers are invited. That way, you can kind of keep an eye on things, but show that you're a big enough man to trust her, and are confident in yourself enough to not mind if she encounters other men.
2007-03-30 07:15:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no longer ideal, till you're acquaintances along with her ex boyfriend and you have confidence him thoroughly, if that being the case, you bypass ingesting with them, alcohol makes you loose your inhibitions, and the subsequent element you will locate out is that she replaced into in a black-out state, or have been given too below the impact of alcohol, and kissed him, and so on. No no longer ideal, with all the people who exist in this international for effective she would have the capacity to locate yet another ingesting companion different than her ex.
2016-10-01 22:52:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think , out of respect for you and the relationship that you guys have together~ NO. Especially not drinking ~ that can lead to other things and cause problems between you two. You may or may not trust her but you should defiantly not trust him~ he may or may not have other plans in mind, but I'm sure it's no worth the risk.
Its one thing that she would stay in contact with him as good friends but let it say like that.
2007-03-30 06:51:51 · answer #8 · answered by SadBrownEyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no..wait and read first. I have been best friends with one of my ex's since before we dated. we realised we were better off as friends instead of lovers so we are still friends.
if i was in your shoes i would ask to come along and if you are told no then i would be worried, do you and your girl have trust issues? how long have they been broken up for, does this happen often? there are alot of unknown factors that should be considered before you react.
2007-03-30 12:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Did they end on good terms? Did she tell you that she was going out with him? Did she invite you along?
I don't think it's wrong to go out drinking with an ex, especially if they're still friends. It's only wrong if she tries to hide it from you, or goes with the intention of getting more than just friendship out of it.
2007-03-30 06:42:03 · answer #10 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋