I just started dating this guy and we have amazing chemistry. We both have have quite casanova backgrounds. He said that he's not really looking to settle down. I normally refuse to be settled down, but lately I've just grown tired of the dating game and whatnot(not permanetly just need to take a break). I had actually decieded that i might be open to a relationship before i even met him about 2 months ago. I met him about 3 weeks ago. i'm one of those people that appreciates directness and honesty and he is the same way. so, I'm pretty sure I want a relationship even if it's not with him. But, at the same time, I understand that I risk him not wanting to date anymore and I do also like the situation how it right now. So, I was wondering if i should date other people in addition to him. I normally don't date one person at the same time, but I always let them know in case they aren't cool with that.
2007-03-30 06:34:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
THE QUESTION!:
Do I tell him there's a possiblity that I might date other people now because I kinda of want to settle down later on or should I just ride the ride only with him and see what happens and then maybe act on it later if I feel I still need to? Like, I said before, I'd rather just date him and ride the ride, but I do also want to settle down sometime in the next 3-6 months.
2007-03-30 06:36:23 · update #1
It's obvious that you really like this guy if you are thinking of settling down with him. You should try it, see how it goes, don't get too sucked down into the relationship, because there is a bit of doubt in your tone. keep you mind open to other options, as well go for it with him, you would not know if whether or not that would be the best decision in your life. You could always change your mind.
All the best.
2007-04-07 06:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by Eliza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ride the wave, it doesn't sound like you have completely made your mind up and only dating him for 3 weeks is not enough to throw at him that you want something more. Give it some time and then if you still feel the same, tell him then. If he doesn't then be prepared to move on. So do it before your feelings get too involved and you get your heart broke. For everyone that feels the way you and this guy do, there is someone that comes along that changes those feelings, this may be him, maybe not, so ride the wave and find out.
2007-03-30 14:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am almost opposite at first but read on cause I think you will get something from this. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship and did NOT want one. I met a wonderful man and like you said everything about us was the same as the other lol. When I first met him he kind of wanted multiple girlfriends, and I didn't even want a boyfriend. We both just kind of took it one day at a time. One night when we were cuddling together out of the blue he said "Well, you can be one of my girlfriends" I chuckled at first lol cause the way he put it. But went with it. What the heck I thought lol. Eventually about 3 weeks later he moved in with me. I was so nervous. At that time we had pretty much fallen for each other and I sooo didn't want to be hurt, nor hurt him. He soon changed his views on his own, I let him go anywhere and do whatever he wanted to. Guess what? He never got another girlfriend, we both realized kind of at the same time that we were in love with each other. SCARY lol. But now here we are 2 wonderful years later still together, and still never had not one fight. We don't like arguements, we have both had our fill on that one. We talk like adults, but the cool part is that we are so much alike that there really aren't too many differences of opinions. He used to go out to the bars and clubs all the time. I didn't mind at all. But now he has settled down, and I have a 4 yr old daughter from my previous marriage. I am ill though, I have seizures and strokes. He didn't run, he stays right by my side and holds my head when I seize and whipes the drool off of my face when I have a stroke. It wasn't like that when we first met. I had a stroke previous to us meeting though and he knew that. Then the seizures started a few months after we got together. We are so happy with each other. So basically after a long freakin story lol I would say ride it out, you never know what will happen.
2007-03-30 13:48:12 · answer #3 · answered by angeleyes818 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you want to ride the ride, but still want to date other people. Now, depending on the response you get you'll know what to do. Simple as that. It;s not rocket science. Just common sense. It's a good trick to find out how he/she really feels about your situation.
2007-04-07 11:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by mr.rod33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"dont ever make someone else your priority, because one day when they decide to dump you , you will have enough stregnht to move on". just tell him that youre goin out with other people, u dont want to only focus on this guy because hes already told u he dont want a relationship, so why would u put all ur time on him. if hes really ready to settle down hell tell u. till then just keep playing the game. if hes the one , hell ask YOU out!!!
2007-04-07 10:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by claudia g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound very promiscuous..and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that..but did you read what you wrote??? your basically saying that you need a 'break' from the dating game..but not a permanent one...
..that is redundant...if you want to commit you need to get the idea of "dating as a sport" out of your mind...completely..
...you want a commitment yet cant give one yourself..you might have repressed emotions about trust...get counseling...figure out what you really want and then find a man who wants the same things you do....
2007-04-07 01:39:14 · answer #6 · answered by Evie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should firs ask yourslef why your dating him, does he make potential dating material, would you like to haev more than just a fling with him? you need to know if he is what you are looking for, what are the qualtities that keep you both together, and then if its all positive sit down and talk to him if hes not up to it then be direct and straight and move on.
2007-03-30 13:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by haboba13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your really getting tired of him, just let him know. In a kind way of course. Just touch him in the face and start rubbing him softly in the shoulders, and say whats on your mind. Don't forget to be nice. Don't give him too much info on who you like now.
2007-03-30 13:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anirudh K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be yourself and honest.. its the best way. and it also says something in return. let him know if he isnt interested in having you date others than tell him you wont and see where it goes from there.
2007-04-07 12:07:53 · answer #9 · answered by Kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound confused....Like you don't really know what you want.
I'd say take time to know yourself first.
After all, if you don't like yourself, how can you expect others to like you?
2007-04-07 13:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋