Why are other people's kids so badly behaved in public?

Question

Before you ask, no I don't have kids and the more I see of them, the more I'm glad I don't. Why do parents let their kids run around in restaurants (proper ones, not McDonalds) and let them run around screaming in shops? Isn't there an acceptable behaviour in public now - don't the parents ever think that not everybody loves their little darlings or wants to hear them screeching?
Last week I was in a restaurant and this two year old was screaming his head off, the parents just continued eating. Someone at the next table asked the parents to do something and the parents said the kid was teething, so they couldn't. However, they never took the child out of the restaurant so the other diners could eat in peace ... they sat there for the next half hour and ignored all the glares from other diners. Were they right to do this, or just selfish?
Is good behaviour in kids a thing of the past? Are we raising a generation of brats? What's your views about how children behave in public?

Answer 1

As a mother of 2 I feel completely compelled to answer this. You are sooooo right!! When my husband and I go out without our children, we pick restaurants that are definitely suited for adults, and if I have to sit next to a table with unruly patrons for any reason it really takes away from this privilege. As parents we are responsible for teaching our children manners and etiquette. If your know your child is teething chose a place more suited for children. If you cannot keep your child in your sights at all times in a store keep them in a cart or stroller, or don't take them with. I feel parents now let young children have too much control. I am in no way perfect, but when I am out with my kids their safety and enjoyment is always priority, but it should never come at the expense of others enjoyment. Store workers have enough to do and don't get paid to babysit. Setting boundaries for our kids teaches them respect, and when this is incorporated, parents will find they are able to go out with their children and not have to worry about upsetting others. It really is up to us as parents to do our job.

Answer 2

I am always appalled by the way parents let their kids behave in public. They are just far to self absorbed and selfish to even care (the parents). I have actually had to stop kids from running into the road because the parents were too busy chatting and smoking. I also helped some others when a man tried to snatch a kid (the kid was about 3 and the parents were, again, too busy chatting to notice he had wandered off).

I wouldn't take a young child to a restaurant. It's not fair on anyone else there if they kick off and also, what's the point? My kids hated being "restrained" in a restaurant so we used to get a babysitter. Makes for a more relaxed night for everyone.

When my children used to play up when we were shopping etc, I would always grab them and hiss in their ear to behave or just turn around and go home. I always promised treats at the end of shopping trips for them all if they were all good. So when one played up, the others would try and stop them because they didn't want to miss their treat.

Yes sometimes toddlers do go off but that is why i don't take them to a restaurant and have them strapped into a buggy in shops so they can't pull everything off the shelves. I will try and go with toys and treats, apples, bread sticks etc, to keep them amused.

Answer 3

Depending on the restaurant, occasional crying or fits are okay if they are dealt with quickly and deftly. If the kid can't be consoled, the kid shouldn't be there - or at least taken to the restroom or far corner away from everyone else. I used to really hate being next to screaming kids in restaurants/planes/movies when I was single. Now that I am a parent of two, I hate it EVEN more when I go to the trouble of getting a sitter so I can go out with my husband for a nice child-free evening, and it is SPOILED by someone not removing a child having a tantrum or otherwise behaving badly in such places.

Answer 4

I agree with you that bad behaviour seems to be on the up now but with what you've said about this couple it doesn't sound like they're having it easy. They should have had more respect though for everyone else in the restaurant but does this mean they have to lose out and not go anywhere because their child is teething? Did any of the staff say anything to either of them?

I agree with you that children should not be allowed to run riot in shops etc screaming their heads off, I've seen too many kids knock over or bump into the elderly etc and the parents do nothing to control them.

Answer 5

I know! Honestly! What's the deal? Parents seem to take this stance nowadays that they can't tell their kid "no" becuase they might not like them or they don't want to look "mean" and the kid is allowed to be a kid. But the thing is, a kid can be a kid and still act properly when appropriate. Will this ward off an unexpected temper tantrum at the grocery store? No. But still teach your kid what's right and wrong. No matter how young. The younger you start talking to them like a human is better becuase eventually they'll learn and catch on and UNDERSTAND you. It just annoys me so much when people talk "goo-goo-ga-ga" to thier kids and still let them act out like a 2 year old at 7 and literally say "Whaaa-whaa!" (I saw that in the hospital waiting room earlier this week) and the mother didn't even pay attention. It's selfish to let your kid cry out for minutes on end in a restaraunt. You take them out and pacify them or you make sure they have things to entertain them or gnaw on if they are teething. Ignorant parents think the world revolves around them and their precious beasts once they arrive into this world. Just like the mom that walks down the center of the isle w/ her big huge stroller and looks at YOU like you're in HER way... I mean, c'mon, get a clue! Children should be taught how to behave by their parents. There are really good kids out there and then there are beast of the womb. Unfortunately the parents or these beasts don't want to hear it becuase they're too ignorant to step outside themselves and realize they've made a big flaw in their child already becuase at 14 is this kid still going to be getting away with the same behavior? Probably...

Answer 6

The parents should hsve taken the child out of the room for a while, given them tylenol or something to numb the pain. There are many things you can do. I think you can learn a lot from others mistakes too. I was a preschool teacher before I had my son and it taught me a lot about how to raise my own.

We did not go out with our son for a few years to restaurants because it wasn't worth the trouble of cleaning up spills, hearing him fuss and getting the looks. I am one that is bothered if I am bothering someone else.

I think that parents these days do let their children do whatever they want, and that our society as a whole is raising brats. Children need and want limits.

Answer 7

I am a parent and I would NEVER have let my kids act like that. My kids are 12 and 14 now and are wonderfully well-behaved. I know what it's like to be a parent and I know that I dont want my kids acting like imbeciles. Yes, it is normal for a child to cry when he is teething but considerate families would not bring the child to a restaraunt, shopping, place of business. It amazes me too that many parents dont seem to give a fig about anyone else but themselves and their problems.

The first thing that should have been done in this situation was to report to the manager and HE should have had the family removed. Patrons need to voice their concerns and let the managers and owners know that they are serious about not frequenting places where this kind of behavior occurs.

The second thing is that parents need to take the kid outside when this happens. Most usually do. It is frustrating to see a family continuing to eat like nothing is wrong and that they dont have a problem inconveniencing others.

Dont grow bitter about having kids. Just use these experiences to determine what you WILL and WONT do as a parent. Not every parent acts like the ones above.

We were very consistent in our parenting and we always get compliments on our kids manners.

Answer 8

It is in this case up to the restaurant to ensure the comfort and satisfaction of the majority of the diners so if this child was causing some offence then they should have asked the parents to leave or insisted that he be taken outside. However I think that parents should be disallowed from taking very young noisey children in to restaurants as it is completely inappropriate. I am not saying that parents shouldn't be able to take children to restaurants but that they must be confident that the child will behave appropriately. I was taken to restaurants, and some very good ones at that, from about the age of four but the moment my parents felt that my behaviour might be affecting other diners. What it is I think is that ignorant people take their holidays in dire places like Magaluf and Aiya Napa and say that the Europeans take their children out in the evening so why can't they, the difference is that really the Europeans that take their children out in the evening are the same sort of ignorant people.

Answer 9

At a restaurant especially parents should try to control their children. The other diners are paying good money just as they are to sit down and have a peaceful meal. It cant be peaceful if theres a kid screaming at the next table. It doesnt matter if the kid was teething or not, they should have gotten that meal to go! My daughter once did this in Pizza Hut. She wasnt screaming but kept getting trying to get out of her chair. She was getting very antsy because they burned our food and had to make it again. It took them an hour just to bring our food out. I was pissed! But I didnt sit there and let my child scream. I just got it to go and left and we ate at home. If they're screaming anywhere else they should get what they need and leave. I would never let my kid run around screaming like that. First of all, its embarrassing to me. Second of all, I dont want to teach her that its ok to be a brat. There's always going to be parents that just dont care though. I think parents need to teach their kids manners and teach them that there are going to be consequences for their bad behavior (the conseuence could be anything from leaving the store to grounding to loss of privileges).

Answer 10

Well for a start apart from the people you just mentiones we do not just LET our kids run riot. They just take off on their own! Its us who try to stop them. Do you really think before we set off somewhere that we program our children to play up wherever we go? When you have children you'll understand that they're not little darlings all the time. I do know that some children will act up in public but it's not the parents fault so give us a break, parenting is a hard job for any one of any age and it's never plain sailing so back off