My husband's pain pill addiction is costing us thousands please help me?

Question

My husband's pain pill addiction is ruining our family. He sometimes spends his entire pay check on them. My heart is broken I love him and I know he is better that this. I can't seem to get him to understand that the whole family is suffering. We are soon to loose everything because he won't help me pay the bills. He has a herniated disk in his neck and gets 4 7.5 lorcets a day but, he has been selling them and buys10's (off the street) sometimes taking up to 17 10's a day. His surgery is scheduled for 4.13.2007. Should I tell his doctor of his addiction? He is not the person I married. We have 2 girls and this is not good for them. My nerves are always shot I can't sleep or eat. Is there anyone out there that can help me? Maybe someone that is or has been going through the same thing. I know he can overcome this and he has told me that he is only taking 4 a day now but, he lies to me so much I don't even know him anymore. Please help someone

Answer 1

I don't think you can let your husband go on like that. You do have 2 children to think about too. And you do need to think about what would happen if he gets caught selling and buying. He most definitely needs help especially if he is spending his whole paycheck living that kind of lifestyle and not even thinking about you or his children. It sounds like to me that you need to take control of this situation, because he's not going to do it now, or even after his surgery. If he is hooked that bad on pills now, he will be when his surgery is over. And....if he keeps up that pace of taking that many a day, he will die eventually. A person's body can't keep up with that kind of abuse, especially the heart. My first husband had a massive heart attack at the age of 39, and I believe that is was because he abused pain pills for years. But the difference was, he wasn't taking his own meds, it was other people's meds.

You might need to tell your doctor about this situation. If he is on that many pills, it could be bad when he gets on the operating table too, especially if they don't know the whole picture.

Pain can be hard to deal with...I know, I'm going through it with my second husband right now, but fortunately, he does not abuse his meds. I know that I wouldn't' be able to handle that, it's hard enough dealing with his pain, especially when there is nothing that can be done about it.

Answer 2

Hi there pain killers are so easy to get addicted too. I'm wondering if he gets then from more than one Dr. Dr. hopping is very popular I know someone that was going to 5 Dr.'s for Vicodin. I'm sure he is in pain and the lighter dose has worn off, My husband has a very bad back and knees but he goes to a pain management center now and you can only get a certain amount a month from there. Your hubby selling though concerns me he can get in big time trouble for that, Not to mention the people he is dealing with, I would tell his Dr in confidence the Dr can't tell him anything. You can keep out the part about selling the on the street so you aren't so embarrassed just say he is getting more from a friend or something. 17 Loracets a day is alot. His surgery I hope for all of you helps him. But he will be still taking the pain pills after. So I guess it's a wait & see game. You say his surgery is here in a few weeks so maybe on second thought you can see how it goes, but after that I would keep a tight reign on his drugs and tell him you'll be giving them to him and give him a chioce on you telling the Dr. and the trouble he could get in and to think about his family. Good Luck

Answer 3

You have my sympathy, and my prayers.

Ultimately, the motivation to break the cycle of addiction has to come from within. Your husband is the only one who can choose to give up the fantasy world he is living in. It is a burden only he can bear.

The great irony of addiction is that addicts believe that they are in control of their own behavior.This is what makes it so intractable and difficult to treat. Only once your husband admits to himself that the drugs have 100% control over his life, and he has none; and once he realizes that everything he has risked to get the drugs he has lost, can he begin to change.

Remember there is a difference between loving somone, and *enabling* them.

I don't mean to sound harsh or judgemental, but sometimes when you love somone, the only option is to get tough.

My advice is that you need to get a hold of a divorce lawyer, and talk about your options. When you say he is not the man you married, you are correct.

Then you need to tell your husband in no uncertain terms that if he does not check into rehab, and stay there untill his surgery, you are going to serve him a divorce, and you are going to call the police and have him arrested. Tell him than you will no longer tolerate any of his lies.

Buying and selling prescription drugs on the black market is a federal crime and a felony. If he keeps using, he is going to get caught eventually. Better that he faces up to that fact. He could get years of jail time. I have heard of cases where elderly grannies were booked for selling their pain meds for food money.

Chances are, he has already made the choice between you and his family, and drugs; and he has chosen the drugs. He need to get it into his thick skull that he cannot have it both ways.

Best of luck, and God be with you,
~Josh Williams

Answer 4

Tell the doctor because your husband sounds like he will go through some withdrawel. And honestly, i wouldn't trust anything he says, the pills have taken over, I understand it, i've been through it. tough love is the best way to help. so make an appt with the doctor and discuss your concerns.