kids are driving me crazy, i cry like an idiot and am loosing my control.? my bad temper is grwing so bad.?

Question

they are 3 years and 2 years old.

i have a maid,the older goes to pre-1 , still, at noon, when the 2 kids meet, it's hell. they keep fighting ,biting each other, pushing,and shouting, and i cant take it . my morals are going in ****

therpasit told me i can't spank them, i can't shout, i can do nothing but sit and let them blow their energy out, untill when ? untill am gone?

Answer 1

it's very hard for you right now because you have kids that are so close together in age.

my kids are 4 years apart, and they make my want to run and scream sometimes.

it's good that you recognize these feelings, because you never want to let them get out of control.

always remember that your kids are precious, and your life would be turned upsside down without them.

in the meantime...if you cannot find someone to take them off your hands for a while, put them in separate rooms, and tell them that they need to play alone and separately, because you need some mommy time.

you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of them.

i know you're doing your best. but it's okay to take care of yourself too.

edit -
if they are hurting each other, you need to be firm and tell them that they are each important to you and you would not tolerate anyone hurting them...even their siblings. separate them...remove play things...speak loudly and firmly and look deep into their eyes when you tell them that behavior is unacceptable. it's okay to make them shake in their boots sometimes.

Answer 2

well It sounds like they may be looking for some attention in a negative way. yes there is something you can do, not spanking or shouting. take awayw privlages, or toys. when they are good the reward them. say ok, you want to fight, then we wont be going to the zoo this weekend, instead we will stay home and clean. once they know you mean it, they might not fight as much. Your children will be growing up all too soon. dont spend their childhood being stressed out and angry. If you need to, leave the room for a few min. take a bath, read a chapter in a book, listen to some music, then go back once you are calm and in the right frame of mind.
you could have a jar full of marbles too, and every time they fight take out one marble, if the jar is still full at the end of the week, go get ice-cream- go to the park ect.. If the jar is empty at the end off the week, stay home and do nothing.
these are just some things that have worked well for me.

Answer 3

"therpasit told me i can't spank them, i can't shout, i can do nothing but sit and let them blow their energy out, untill when ? untill am gone?"

This person has chosen to advise you not to do your job so your child will end up paying for the same advice one day either behind bars or replacing God with a therapist. Sorry, but spanking a child for *severe rebellion* and appropriate sterness is a parent's job IF they love their child enough to want them to learn there is no such thing as "getting one's way all the time". Is this world without rules....no, so why teach that illusion to a child and why would take advice from a person that clearly wants you not to be a balanced parent? I'd work on loving my child and stop feeding into the system.

Time spent
Lot's of hugs
Discipline
Guidance

Those all add up to a parent that cares/loves child(ren). Consider that biting is something that animals do...even domestic dogs and cats are taught not to do so -because their caretakers care and because biting is dangerous. Do you bite? I don't know but consider that if you don't ....yet your children do without being dealt with *biting* will be the least of your worries in the future. Do not fall for "spanking breeds violence" considering teaching is for the authority figure ONLY and a child has the right to at least be offered up a choices different from ending up in jail, self-medicating, or thinking a secular belief is spiritually healthy.

Answer 4

We all get there sometimes. You just need to keep in mind what's important - being a mother, which means to be a good role model. Yelling at them or physically punishing them will only teach them that it is okay to yell and become physical when they don't like how things are going. It's important to maintain a stern yet rational tone while disciplining them. They're old enough to get time outs. Implement them. Just know that you're not a bad mother and that all moms get there. You just need to remember to stay rational and calm. On a bad day just do whatever it is to keep them outta your hair. Give 'em snacks, set up a baby gate in your bedroom if you have a TV in there and make them watch a movie in there while you give yourself some time to yourself in the next room. Take them outside and let them run off their energy! Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

Wow, okay. At 2 and 3 they are old enough for time outs. One minute for each year of their age. They need consistent discipline when they act out. When the fighting starts put them in time out. Try a behavior chart, this is positive reinforcement for good behavior. It could be worse. You could have a 15 year old, 13 year old, 11 year old, 4 year old and 14 months like me, no maid, financial difficulties and this is a blended family to top it all off. Just try to keep your cool, be very consistent, things will get better.

Answer 6

They are just babies. They are those ages where everything is new and exciting to them and they are learning so much. It's sad to hear you feel this way. Maybe you need to get some help at home with them a couple of days a week. When you do get the chance to get away do something special and relaxing for yourself. Try to get some support from other Mom's with young children. You should be enjoying them not feeling miserable. They are only young once.

Answer 7

Seek help.

It does not show weakness or that there is something wrong with you. It may be as simple as hormones out of whack and needing something as an aid. Has anyone in your family ever suffered from depression? Notice I said "suffered" it is a miserable and debilitating disease.

Don't take it lightly but at the same time do you have time for yourself? Do the kids go to preschool? Playgroup? Do you have time to unwind and remember that you are not just a parent but an adult that still needs to be cared for?

Answer 8

All kids drive all mothers crazy some of the time. And 3 and 2 are really tough years- for the mother. and you have one in each category...you have my sympathies. Can you get some elderly female relative to stay with you for a bit? Grandmothers are a huge help.
If you are crying all the time, then maybe you need to be tested for depression. Speak to you doctor, if it is clinical depression then it can be treated quite easily. Hang in there sweetie. Mothering is really tough, rewarding, but tough. And dont think you are alone. My prayers are with you.

Answer 9

honey, you NEED A VACATION!!!! no kidding!!! you are being overpowered by your kids, and its not a joke!!! if you dont do something, like send the kids to grandmas for a week, your gonna loose your mind!! this can also lead to depression and much worse things... i know you love them, but come on, sometimes they simply need to go away and give you some 'me' time..... put them into day care,preschool( i know,its a bit early for a 2 and 3 yr old) but your need to regain your sanity and the only you can is to get rid of them for a week with a relative, day care for a few hours during the day, then you slip yourself into a nice, hot bubble bath and take you some 'ME' time!!!! and dont think your a bad mom, honey, your not a bad mom... 2 kids under 5 will try anyones nerves sometimes... its ok,weve been trhu this kinda thing too... ( my son is grown now, but i had postpardum depression very very bad) its ok, but take care of yourself before you do something youll regret

Answer 10

I feel so sorry for you, you have to wait for another 7-8 years before they are really mature. I can't believe you have such a bad temper. They are barely in nursery. Hire a maid to help around with the cleaning or better yet, ask your husband to do extra chores.