he broke up with me. no reason. can't even think of what i did, for him to do this to me. i already feel stupid feeling this way for almost two months. will this stay any longer? i just wanna scream. i hate feeling this way. i hate it so much.
2007-03-29 22:49:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What helped me the most after my most recent breakup, which pretty much was devastating to me... were three things:
(1) I kept looking for good, fun, productive things to do with my "spare time." Now that he and I were no longer dating, I had these massive chunks of spare time (which I did not want, nor did I ask for!). So it was important for me to find good stuff to do with all that spare time. Get involved with an old hobby you enjoy but haven't had time for lately. Call friends who you had sort of lost touch with. Head to the library and spend some time reading a good book. Etc.
(2) I cut into tiny smithereens of pieces, all of the pictures I had of him and all of the letters and drawings and love notes I had kept of his. I am not saying you've got to do this "today." But work toward it. Get a box, and begin with just one note or picture, and take some scissors, and cut it into tiny pieces into the box. Call it a memory box perhaps. Then when the last pic or note is cut to smithereens... throw away the box.
I did not simply throw away the box. I invited a good friend to sit with me during the cutting up of the pics and notes. When all the cutting was done, soon I held a very tearful ceremony where a close friend and I actually burned the smithereens out in an open area where it was safe to do so. But you can simply throw them away if you prefer. It was difficult getting them to burn completely, but something about the burning, and the turning of the pics into "ashes", was really good for me, I think. (I do recommend taking a good friend with you to throw them away, because that was one of the saddest days of my life, and I needed the support!)
(3) Pray, pray, pray, and when things seem impossible, pray even harder. Time doesn't heal all wounds. God/Jesus will. He won't fail you if you trust Him and turn to Him with all this stuff that you're going through, I promise.
And keep coming back here and posing questions like the ones you just posted... untill you have gotten enough satisfactory answers... and have worked through your grief completely.
Because it is definitely like grieving, as if someone close to me had died. He wasn't dead, but it felt like he is now dead to me. So the ceremony of the pic burning was sort of like a funeral. I and my close friend said some good things about him, and some bad things about him, and prayed a prayer that he would be all right and find happiness, and that I would find happiness too. It was a very good sort of closure. I have not been such a basket case since that week of the burning.
(Took me over a year, I think, to work through the whole grief process... but after the pic burning... my recovery was almost immediate... and I wish my friend had suggested that earlier!! I had been looking at the pictures every day, and re-reading all those notes that had been so special to me... and I think that just fueled my sadness.)
All my best to you. God bless you as you work through your grief.
2007-03-29 23:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by prodaugh-internet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is natural to feel hurt after putting your trust and love into someone you care about and then he says no without a reason.
A reason would have at least made it bearable.
However, if after two months he still hasn't told you anything then I think he has found someone else for himself.
I will advise you to forgive him and let go of the incident and look ahead. There are better days ahead.
It might be shock to hear this, but I think it is better for you that he broke up with you now then later. It simply means he is not matured enough to handle a wonderful person like you.
And I will not advice you to be with anyone who doesn't really love you for who you are.
The problem is that you have been thinking about the whole thing and that is what is making you feel sick...Forgive him and let go...there better guys out there!...and you deserve a better treatment and love.
2007-03-30 06:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, It really does su..k to feel those feelings from relationships that all of a sudden come to an end.
I don't think that we are able to just get over it that easy.
But you can learn from it and brace yourself up for the next time you let your feelings go for a man.
You learn to put up barriers to block it from hurting so much when it happens again, and again.
Best thing you can do is realize that the more you let yourself love someone, is how much you can measure the hurt that will be felt when it comes to an end.
Believe me on that one. for I have let my self love way to much to one man. and now feel the pain from letting my heart love him..
Never can I let myself do that again. unless I am willing to take the risk of that double edged knife cutting through my soul.
Barriers and walls.
that is what we must not let fall.
For when we do.
It tears our hearts in two..
and make s us feel, oh so blue!.
So don't let that happen to you.
Put up those walls, don't ever let them fall.
2007-03-30 06:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you do not have to do anything for someone to leave you. Evidently he realized that he did not have the feelings for you that it takes to have a relationship.
We can't force others to love us like we love them. Sometimes you just have to accept that it is better they left, than to stay with you and not be loving and caring.
I know that it doesn't seem like it now, but if he did not love you he has done you a favor. He gave you the opportunity to find someone that will love you and make you happy.
I have been exactly where you are. It just takes time for our hearts to heal.
2007-03-30 06:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be with anybody for another three months. Don't date unless it is just fun. Don't look for other men. You need to take time out for yourself and heal your heart. You will probably always love him and you will never forget about him. Just focus on yourself right now and doing things everyday to just keep yourself busy. Or get back into doing things that maybe you once loved but haven't done for awhile (art, music, hobbies). You can also always chat with your friends on yahoo!answers. :-)
2007-03-30 05:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is the essence I am afraid - the hurt feeling will go in time.
Meanwhile go out more with your mates - or make new ones, do different things and don't hang out where your ex does.
It'll get better.
2007-03-30 05:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Mysterious ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is going to short and straight to the point - focus on yourself, hang out with friends, put him out of your mind. The pain will go away with time, its the only thing that helps. And you wont find anyone unless you stop dwelling on this. Plus its not good for your mental health. Trust me ive been there. Put yourself first.
2007-03-30 05:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by Click 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same thing happened to me its been 3 years and i still feel for him it does get better with time dont do a rebound thing its not worth it a nice site to go on is astorytoshare.com
2007-03-30 05:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It'll get better, and the faster you stop worrying about it the better!
HE'S the one missing out. HE'S going to miss the wonder that is YOU!
Screw him, kiddo. Take your time and find the guy that DESERVES you.
2007-03-30 05:52:49 · answer #9 · answered by Mortis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to entertain, to meet ur friends more, to have fun, try to think about smth. when u remember him in ur mind...
U have to understand that he doesn't worth u, u need someone who will appreciate u and will love u with all his heart...
Good Luck, hun, u'll be fine for sure!
2007-03-30 05:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Panther 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋