At first he said he didnt want to start anything because he wanted to make sure she and he were done 100%. Well recently hes said that hes decided that shes not for him, they fight too much, and Im by far better for him. The only thing that kept/keeps him is the fact that she was his first sex act and love. Hes said that hes made a concious decision to do things right and make it work with me. She and him havent spoken in wks she used to call 24/7. Well since that conversation I found a recent doc on his computer expressing feelings for her. What do I do? I use his comuter too, shouldnt he have made it discrete, changed the attention grabbing title? Could this be how he copes? How do I address this?
Im a bit turned off and I feel thats a bit obsessive whats hes done. Like gee get over it...
2007-03-29 18:23:20 · 17 answers · asked by Tian 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has not had time to heal from his last relationship. He still cares about her and you are going to end up being hurt by this. Take the relationship slow, don't dive in with everything right away.
2007-03-29 18:27:09 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tian right now he is not a good risk for a life commitment. However there is no reason why you cannot go out as friends.
Sex need not be involved. If he does not want you as a friend then perhaps it would be best to drop him entirely. Relationships based on just sex do not last and can be very upsetting.
Why not try getting to know some other people. Start filling your life up with other activities. Waiting around for him to make up his mind can put your entire life on hold for nothing. Respect yourself. Do this by developing other interests and friends.
2007-03-29 18:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at this from a positive perspective, the guy feels, loves and cares. He's not a player and Is being honest with you, the question is do you deserve a man that can and will love you that much, and next can you take his heart from her. "turned off and bit obsessive" that really is a woman response to a guy that shows his true self. Better just to say **** that ***** right?
2007-03-29 18:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure your fella is a good guy, but you have to be realistic with yourself. If this guy is not over his recent girlfriend, do you want to be the rebound girl? If you think he is worth spending time with, then tell him you understand where he is at, and give him space to sort through what he is going through. Be his friend. Get to know him this way first. Maybe after hanging out with him for a while..you can make the decision if he is boyfriend material for you. Honestly, take your time... you wouldn't want your heart broken.
2007-03-29 18:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not over her. A person needs at least 6mo-year to get over a long-term serious relationship. Its easier for a lot of people to pick someone else to hang out with while they're trying to sort out their emotions, but that is called a rebound and it never works. Sorry hon, this is not the time for you two to be together.
2007-03-29 18:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kaitelia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a relationship w/ someone else to forget someone is not a solution.... This can be a problem between the 2 of you.... What if someday his X will take him back and he still love him so you'll be left alone or is it just OK for you to be second on the heart on the man you love???.... Things he'll do for you won't be enough if he's heart belongs to someone else...
2007-03-29 18:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by JOY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k first of al try n find the d8 of wen the doc was written!! it culda been frm ages ago wen he was unsure n he jst hasnt been bothered 2 delete it (guys r lazy lyk that)
if it was his 1st love she will always be in his heart but your his new love which is more special <3
but if yu want 2 kno the real truth ask him!! his the only 1 with the answer you want ..
goodluck <3 but look at it this way .. his with you not her!!
2007-03-29 18:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by jessiii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "how he copes"? Basicly he is keeping you around in case the other does not work out for him. No one likes to be alone and you should not like being second best. Get out of this now
2007-03-29 18:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes because you do not want to be the rebound girl
you'd be better off to let him know how you feel, but wait a month for him to get over this other girl.
You do not want competition with a dead relationship.
Best of wishes
2007-03-29 18:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by Katie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how much effort he still wants to put into the previous relationship. to some ppl, when they broke up, still have feelings for the ex but will never ever contemplate being with that person again. only when he has reached that point that u can have a relationship with him.
2007-03-29 18:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by aishah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋