Is 21 and 38 too much of an age difference?

Question

Just a thought, who thinks the difference is too great. Because I personally don't think it's that big of a deal.
I am referring to relationships.

Him being 38 not myself.

Answer 1

In general, I would say yes it is...but then again I met my husband by accident and it has worked for us. He is 23 and I am 40. If I had to say why it works is strong chemistry and strong commitment followed by dedication to marriage.

Would I recommend it? Probably not. Why? I just don't know if it works in general. The older person will fear being left, the life goals are different. I can see his lack of maturity on certain things and must remember to let him experience life. He has to remember that I don't want to do all the things that he may want to do (party or whatever).

It just takes work. And by the way, the younger person may miss out on some fun or the older one may become too much like a parent if you aren't careful.

Just think if it is long term or short term and be mature about it. It is what you both want that matters. Make sure you want the same things.

Answer 2

It's a 17 year difference, which, in my opinion, is quite large, but that's not the biggest issue in this situation. 21 and 38 are two VERY different ages. 21 year olds are pretty much just starting out in the "real world" and don't have too much experience under their belts. 38 year olds, on the other hand, have most likely experienced much more in their lives. I would say that would be the most difficult thing in a relationship between a 21 year old and a 38 year old.

Answer 3

ok, most people will say either 'no big deal' or age doesn't matter'......think of what age he will be when you are 30..... that is where age DOES matter. If it is a fling, ok, no worries. But if you are thinking about becoming serious, it may present a problem.

You are just starting to live while he has lived and may be ready to settle down. If you do, eventually you will feel what you have missed...and that's when the age DOES make a difference.

Answer 4

wow....yea thats pretty much a big gap. im 22 and i dated a guy who was 34 and that was alot, he had a kid, and was newly divorced. not bueno situation. yours may be different but thats 12 not far from 17. jsut watch urself. your so young and his head is probably into settleing down and having children and u can do so much with yourself. even though being 22 now adays people are having kids. but be careful find out what his intentions are. and in every relationship theres problems, but when theres that big of a gap i nage theres a maturity gap also. views will be way different.

Answer 5

if he is 21 and you are 38 yes it will be a problem in time.it usually is not such a big factor if the man is older since women are the ones who have the babys but each couple is different.only the two of you know why you work or not. good luck.

Answer 6

I am 26 and my partner is 37. We have been together since I was 18. The relationship works well because I am mature for my age and he is immature for his age. Its not about age, only about maturity levels.

Answer 7

on the dr phil show today he advised a 22 year old girl to separate from a rich 40 year old man she was dating when she refused claiming she was really in love he said would you please at least go to counceling so they can tell you what problems may come up with big age gap relationships and she said ok.dr phil's opinion is that big age gaps are a problem.i think it may work for some but not for others.anna nicole smith was with a rich 89 or so year old oil tycoon i think it was good for him and good for her so thats all that matters

Answer 8

nope not really .. your over 18 and a adult... i my self am 43 and my bf is 30

Answer 9

that would be a young parent with a child

Answer 10

no i dont think its too much --- it depends upon the couple of course --- my lady is much younger than i am so i am biased