This is a long one.?

Question

Just a forewarning, this is long.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and its pretty serious. At first i knew i was going to marry her. Now im not so sure. I'm having doubts. I think i still love her, but she's my first true girlfriend, so i don't have anything to base that off of. I know she's crazy about me and loves me and wants to marry me, which makes this so hard. I don't know if these doubts are normal. Also, as our relationship has progressed, im finding myself less attracted to her physically. I still love her personality though. I hate to think of myself as shallow, but is this just my male tendencies showing through? Is it normal too? A year ago I would have never considered ending this relationship but now Im not so sure. Please help!

Answer 1

Just the fact that you aren't attracted to her as much is not good at all. If you are feeling this way already, you shouldn't marry her. You will indeed have wandering eyes eventually. If you are having doubts about marraige now, that's a red flag too. You better take your time with this one and your heart will steer you the right way. As long as you don't rush anything from here on out, you should be okay.

And no, I don't think it is normal if you are really in love with her to be having any type of negative thoughts so early on, within a year and a half. It can't be 100% love if you are doubting things-period. Email me if you want some more advice from a woman with experience.

Answer 2

Look at the statistics. About 65% of first marriages end in divorce. What people don't realize is the same thing applies to friendships and any emotional entanglements. Most don't succeed. So it shouldn't be surprising (but it always is) that any given relationship probably won't last. Any relationship requires both parties to accept themselves first, and the other next. If you can truly accept yourself, then you will find that you will choose only those who truly honor you. If you feel comfortable with yourself then ask if your girlfriend honors you, and if you honor yourself by joining with her. If you have questions about this relationship, talk to her about them. It's better to have some difficulties now, before you get married, than have difficulties come up after a marriage, and a family. Family obligations last for life (the life of the children). That's a pretty long time to regret.

Answer 3

Yes, what you are feeling is normal.
Try not seeing her at all for a couple of weeks and see how you feel. Somtimes it takes and absence to remember how much we like what we have.
Hopefully as the novelty of a new relationship wears off our appreciate shifts to real and more important things. Personality is very very very important, as is trust, responsiblty, reliabilty.
It's very easy to damage something as fragile as a relationship, be careful while you are wondering to not do something you can't take back.

Answer 4

ok don't end it. talk to her when you think it's the perfect timing. don't show it either. if you show a bit, she'll think you don't like her anymore. not that it's that. but try not to make her think about it. whe you two do tlk about it, try to say things like, "it's not you, it's me".

most guys are like that, it's normal in a way. it's mainly our animal side doing that though. it's just the feeling of being with one girl for soo long, you feel caged in and you don't like the cage anymore. even if there was free food. you can try and go off from the realationship.

you can set rules like, "no real relationships" just "dating" with other people. but for that to happen, both of you need to agree.

ok i think i'm going to far, i'm not Dr. Phil, talk to her about it.

Answer 5

normal to a extent.

Answer 6

Maybe you should take time off.See other people.

Answer 7

well....if ur thinking that way then you have doubts......and if you have doubts.......duh!!!