my mom what to do?

Question

My mom has been really mad because her dad is on his death bed. She gets mad sometimes and I think its because she knows her dad is going to leave and she has no control. So she gets these moods and yells, calls me my dad and sister names. She is also starting to hit which is totally not like her. What can I do to calm her down?

I see my dad once a week only and can only talk to him then.

Answer 1

You have absolutely no control over the behaviour or emotions of another.
While your mothers anger in this terrible situation is understandable, it doesn't make it excusable.
She needs to be reminded that her behaviour is wrong no matter what.
When her father is gone she will still have to deal with the rest of her family including you & your father & sister.
So ask her the next time she lashes out at you. Do you want our support & understanding during this rough time in your life, or do you want to drive us all away?

If you want her to calm down then give her a reality check.
Failing that she may be overdue for some grief councelling.

May God bless you all & especially your Grandfather. :-)

Answer 2

First of all, regardless of why your mom might be really angry, she has no right to take it out on you or hit you. You need to find a trusted adult and share this with them. Second, your mom is grieving and doesn't know what else to do with her feelings. This doesn't make it right, however. You are her child and not her therapist. She needs another adult to offer her support, just as you have friends you can lean on. Where's your dad in all this? If he's not home when her outbursts occur, tell him about them. If you don't feel supported by him, then tell someone else. In a rational moment, when she's calm, tell her how you feel about her behavior. Tell her that it scares you. Tell her that you love her but that its not ok for her to hurt you. And then create a safety plan to leave the house if she comes after you again.

Answer 3

Your mom is not mad at you or your family. People have their own way of dealing with death, especially when the inevitable is going to happen. But you are right, something needs to be done, your mom is searching for out-let and apparently she doesn't know how to content with her emotions.

It's time to help your mom. Convince your dad to pool the family together, invite a minister and conduct a family meeting. You can contact the minister or priest yourself. Explain to him the situation that is occurring with your mom. Schedule a day (without you mom knowing) for the minister to come, and that's when the family should be there and express your concern about her behavior.

Your mom needs you know. You can do it! Even if your dad thinks it won't help, you must try it! Your mom really needs you to help her. She would be more inclined to listen to a minister or priest, and if you don't belong to any denomination church, call any minister in the phone book. I will pray for your family.

God Bless

Answer 4

It sounds to me like maybe your mom has some unfinished issues concerning her dad. Maybe something happened between them that she has been unable to express and therefor there has been no closure. Now that he is dying she may never find that closure.
Although all of you need to offer your support, it really should be your father that , at least initially , talks to her about what's going on. I say this because she may need to rely on their relationship in order to open up.
Talk to your dad , tell him how your feeling. As you said he is experiencing the same things but as an adult he probably is just trying to let it go for himself because he knows she's hurting. He really needs to understand how it's effecting everyone else and try and get your mom talking. If she is not normally like this then something major is going on with her.Give her lots of hugs and remind her how much you love her. Despite her mood swings , she needs you very much.
Take care and good luck : )

Answer 5

Your mother is probably going through a deep depression and needs counseling and meds. Urge her to get help. Find a doctor or counselor she can go to. Tell her you are very sorry that she is loosing her father, but you feel like you are loosing her too. Realize that she is going through a horrible time and try your best to be helpful- especially by doing housework, so she doesn't feel quite so overwhelmed. If she refuses to seek professional help and contonues to be abusive then you need to talk to your father about a way to get you out of there. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of behavior.

Answer 6

your dad should take the position as the head of the house and speak to her calmly tell her maybe she might need pro help. bc hitting is an extreme i mean i understand the mood swings. butt also remember to always be there for her if she needs to cry or say sumthing

Answer 7

woah. i'd say just sit it out till her dad passes. she'll be too down to do anything. just watch out for her. talk to her. sit with her and talk to her. make it seem like it isn't your sister, dad, or your fault. just in nice words.