The doctors told me that my mom has a very slim chance of survival and I feel like she is slipping away already, I am very depressed and I don't know what to do... she is my mom, my everything... How do I say goodbye?
2007-03-29 17:24:06 · 18 answers · asked by Honey83 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I want to thank everyone who commented on my question. This means alot to me.
2007-03-30 09:33:51 · update #1
you dont ever say goodbye and even less move on. remember she will always he in your heart and in you mind and be there to listen to your problems. dont see it as losing your mom see it as gaining a guardian angel. and try to spend as much time with her as possible. many pictures so you can keep that memory goin of the to of you together
2007-03-29 17:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by Miss K.V. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say that time heals all wounds and in some respects, that is true. Letting someone go is very hard, at any age. And, saying goodbye to a great mom is even harder. There are stages of grief that we pass thru: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. People who are terminally ill go thru these stages too. The process takes time and patience. If you have a good friend, a trusted adult, a pastor, or someone you can trust with your feelings, share them with him or her. You need a good shoulder to lean on and someone to hold you. As your mom readies her transition, tell her how much she has meant to you, how much she has taught you, how proud she will be of the woman or man you will become. Tell her what you love most about her, the times that have been prescious. Tell her you're sorry if there has been misunderstandings that haven't been resolved yet. And tell her that its ok for her to go when she's ready. Have faith that your mom will be with you always in one form or another. Since you have said that you are depressed, it probably would be a good idea for you to talk to a therapist about what is happening so that they might offer additional advice and support. And, please know that you are not alone in your grief! There are support groups such as Compassionate Friends in many areas of the country to offer support and help. Please be gentle with your self and know that you are loved.
2007-03-29 17:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by JennyP 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her all the time you can possibly can. I have watched my sister and my mother die. Lost my Dad, two brothers and a young nephew. Believe me, it is hard, but life goes on.
Death is something we will all have to do. No way around that.
You will miss her, this I know, but in time it will not hurt as bad. However, some people will hold onto the pain, for some reason. Don't be one of those. In a way, they died too. If, after a year you do not feel more peace about it, get help. Your mother would not want you to stop living.
2007-03-29 17:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by howdigethere 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't. you just love her, and let her know you do. spend as much time as you can with her before she slips away.
and when the time comes, and she lets go of her grip on this world you will honor her by being everything she asked yo uto be. a good, kind, decent, hardworking, person.
she will be forever in your heart and your memories will stay with you.
so enjoy the time you have with her and show her what a good job she did raising you.
i am very sorry for your troubles and hope you will find the strength you need to get through this sad time.
2007-03-29 18:42:43 · answer #4 · answered by the quiet one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My heart pours out for you. I cannot imagine how you must feel, and I am certain that it hurts.
How do you say goodbye? As I sit here and put myself in your position, what I feel I want to do is tell me Mom how much I lover and tell her about the things about her for which I am grateful. I would acknowledge her for all the wonderful things she did for me and share the fun and happiest memories I have of her. I would honor her for the wonderful, loving, caring woman she is. And while I was doing this, I would be holding her hand, touching her in loving and caring ways and looking into her eyes. I would be as connected as I can be with her. I would come completely from my heart and just be totally with her in as loving and caring way I can. I would make that time all about her as the gift she is.
2007-03-29 17:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by Rick C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy the time you have left with her. I lost my father suddenly when i was 11. There was no warning or time. You have that time left. Make the most of it. Tell her everything you want to tell her. Tell her you love her. Tell her she will always be with you, and she will. When someone dies, they live on in your memories and your heart. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I won't lie. And the pain will never disappear completely, but pain is part of what makes us human. Remember everything she is, and everything she was to you. Celebrate her life, don't wallow in her death. Too much of our society wallows in the dark side of death, when there was so much life to be happy about. Think of all the times she made you smile, made you feel alive. Remember that, and carry on with your life.
Until then, love her now. Don't miss the chance.
2007-03-29 17:33:40 · answer #6 · answered by Merk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your mother. It is hard for you but you know it must be hard for her too....Just embrace her and be with her and enjoy her love, kisses and warm touch in these last days. Losing someone important is always tough and it takes lots of time to heal. It is important to seek help thru this so you do not become depressed. Just know that you have a lifetime of memories with her and no one can ever take that away.....
2007-03-29 17:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Benita Applebum 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When we found out my mom had cancer I took it very hard.I became depressed and almost lost everything I had.One night when I got home from work my mom was sitting at the kitchen table and asked me what was wrong.I just sat their looking at her and started to cry.I told her how much I loved her and that I was going to miss her very much.She looked me in the eyes and told me that it was ok to be upset and that she knew how much I loved her and we just talked all night.I felt so much better after we talked.Just go to your mom.Tell her how you feel and help her to have peace knowing how you feel.You and your family are in my prayers.
2007-03-30 03:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Heather T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't say goodbye instead, you say, 'i love you.'
having been without either parent for a period of 20+ years, i can tell you that those you love never die. they remain forever present, close and valid to your everyday life throughout your life. they continue to comfort you, advise you, motivate and sustain you during each victory and defeat and are forever with you in heart and memory.
take heart in those words, as they are very much true.
however, your mom is still physically here and doctors have a tendency to prep us for the worse outcome so, don't get ahead of yourself, yet.
2007-03-29 22:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray. You need the LORD for everything. Now, I don't know if you're a "religious" person or not. Personally I dislike religious people. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. I don't have a religion. I have a relationship with the greatest Father ever. He loves you, whether you believe in Him or not. He wants to take care of you. He wants to comfort you. Pray and ask for His help. You want to talk more about it... I'm on messenger always. I'll be praying for you.
2007-03-29 17:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dave Davis 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋