i have a little cousin whos 3, me and her are extremely close and i see her alot. well one night she got in trouble and had to go to bed early, but she just kept coming out of her room everytime her mom put her back in ther she would just come out again, her mom (my aunt) gets really stressed out sometimes over little things, so my aunt was kinda stressed, so she went to another room to call her husband(whos on a hunting trip) in the mean time,my baby cousin comes out again, and i took her into her room and talked to her a little bit and sat w/ her a little bit until she was okay for me to leave, she didnt get up anymore after that, but i was just wondering if i should do those sort of things? especially when shes in trouble, her mom gets mad sometimes when try to do things w/ her that are kinda parental....should i just stay out of it next time???
2007-03-29 13:16:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
i think my aunt has more of a problem w/ it because, im only 15, and she's really insecure about her kids loving her and stuff. But i didnt really let her have her way, she kept asking me if id lay down w/ her or let her go watch tv w/ me, but i just stuck to my grounds and said no its time to go to bed. When i talkd to her i talkd to her about why she wouldnt go to sleep and why she kept coming out, but my aunt would probably still get upset if i told her, because she would feel like i did something better than she did, even though thats not what i was trying to prove, i was just helping
2007-03-29 13:48:11 · update #1
just stay out of it if her mom doesnt like it. let her deal with her daughter.
2007-03-29 13:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by mom_princess77 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like your biggest problem is that the child is going to try and play you two against each other. DO NOT LET HER DO THAT! My three year old plays me and my husband against each other and it causes problem and makes us fight sometimes. So as long as you two can be on the same team there shouldn't be any problem.
I would also sit down with your aunt and just make sure that she knows that you are only trying to help and if she wants you to back off that you will.
2007-03-29 22:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by Kristin R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you did wasnt wrong, you comfroted your cousin. Your not spoiling her, maybe next time if you see your aunt is getting stressed out you could maybe say somthing like this" Aunt Juile I think I can get Christina to go to sleep you go and rest, I'll call you if I need your help. " This way your letting your aunt know she can take a second to calm down, and your cousin will also calm down. Hope it helps!
2007-03-29 20:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by krdes1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you did, worked. Everyone's happier for it. Be happy you did it. Just be aware that the same trick isn't guaranteed to work the next time.
If she comes to expect this treatment as a regular thing, then that may become a problem - but there's no need to worry about that unless/until it actually happens. At that point, her mom can put a stop to it, and that'll be that.
If you're really worried about this, talk to her mom about it. She'll probably thank you for taking care of a problem. I won't predict whether she'd want you to do it again, though... she might, and she might not.
2007-03-29 20:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If her mom is putting her to bed you need to step out and let her take care of it. But maybe you and the mom can come up with a plan that you put her to bed if that works better!
2007-03-29 20:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Maybe you should tell your aount about what you did, and suggest she tries it the next time her daughter takes a "detour" from her bedroom. With children as young as your cousin is, they tend to do about WHATEVER it takes to get attention, even if it means trouble. sometimes you have to sit down, let them know they are loved, then get down to business. Let them know that when someone says they need to go to bed, they need to go to bed.
Hope this helps!
2007-03-29 20:24:20 · answer #6 · answered by maddie_bales_13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like maybe she just needs that extra talk time before she goes to bed. Maybe next time she starts leaving her bedroom and your Aunt sends her back tell her what you did, and see if she gets upset or not.
2007-03-29 20:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a three year old little boy who hates going to bedm we used to do the whole lock him in his room and cry himself to sleep thing but it never worked, it might for some kids but not him, now we go in and talk to him untill he is ok to go to sleep, it is alot better that way, i dont thing you were doing anything wrong, if her mom was getting stressed and couldnt deal with it right then what were you supposed to do? you were just helping out with a problem
2007-03-29 20:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by jenn c 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong, you got her to stay in bed. If her mom had been that patient it probably would not have happend. BUT, because the mom is posessive of her maternal perogatives, I would be careful about it. You don't want to get in her bad graces.
2007-03-29 20:22:36 · answer #9 · answered by Tor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i don't see what you did wrong, but kids tend to try to take advantage at any sign of kindness you show them. yes, next time, stay out of it, because it sounds like she got a little spoiled. if your aunt is trying to disipline her, then just stay out of it, because you cousin will think you will always do that for her.
2007-03-29 20:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by bugsandtweety 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spoilling? no, of course not. but if your ant doesn't want your help in dealing with her child. she has the right. im not saying what you did was wrong. i for one think what you did was very kind. but it is her child and she should handle it. but you didn't spoill the kid. you were just calming her down. i think its sweet!
2007-03-29 20:25:07 · answer #11 · answered by William P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋